Our Last Days
by alwaysbringback-up
Summary: When the unthinkable happens, Maura is forced to face the possibility that she's going to lose her best friend. Will she realize her feelings for Jane before it's too late. Will she be able to save her best friend? Possible Rizzles. Not exactly a fluffy fic. Summary sucks. Give it a chance!
1. Our Last Days

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Our Last Days**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: New story! This won't have hot and heavy Rizzles like my other stories. It also won't be fluffy, but rather will be suspenseful. This story centers more on friendship. Though, there may be more Rizzles later on depending on what readers want! Please give it a chance!**

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"What have we got?" Jane asked as she walked into a disheveled living room on the rundown side of town to find Maura kneeling over a dead body. People from CSU were carefully marking off all of the evidence, including blood spatter on the nearest wall to the body. Jane carefully, wove her way around the many bodies in the room, making her way over to Maura. Korsak and Frost were right on her heels.

Jane took a moment to take in the appearance of the body. The victim looked to be a man in his mid-thirties and had a slim build. Jane let her eyes rake over the body. He was wearing baggy jeans, a white wife beater, and a zip-up green hoodie. Jane crouched down, sitting on her heels as she watched Maura work.

"Male, mid-thirties," Maura listed off. "Two bullet wounds to the upper torso." Jane watched as Maura pointed them both out with a pinky.

"Will you tell me anything more?" Jane asked softly. "Or should I begin pestering you like I always do?"

"You know I don't like guessing, Detective," Maura enunciated Jane's formal title as if she was put off by the fact that she had to have a conversation with someone she currently would rather not have to see at all. Maura quickly took the chance to glance at Jane. She looked almost sad, remorseful. "You'll have to wait." Jane sighed and pushed up with her legs, quickly standing.

"Fine, then," Jane mumbled, starting to walk away dejectedly. "I'll see you after you complete the autopsy. Will two hours be long enough? Or will you need more time than that?" Jane didn't even know what she asked. She didn't plan on sticking around to get the answer. Both Korsak and Frost looked between the two women, trying to discern what had happened between the two women. You could have cut the tension in the room with a very dull butter knife.

Jane headed briskly for the door. And Maura felt a pang of guilt.

"Jane, wait!" Jane slowly turned back around to face Maura and the body.

"This one looks to be the prominent cause of death," Maura said helpfully, indicating one of the two bullet wounds. "It's from a .22. It appears to have transected the aorta." Jane nodded and swallowed. "He would have bled out instantly." Then she added. "This is all speculation, of course. I won't know _for_ _sure_ until I get him back to the lab and perform the autopsy."

"Of course," Jane replied while rolling her eyes. Maura was always very analytical, but refused to draw a conclusion until she's looked over all of the evidence. "Thank you, doc."

"Oh," Maura added as an afterthought, "I also thought that you might want to take a look at this." Maura held out a small baggie. "I found this in his pocket." Jane walked over.

"Hmm," Jane hummed as she examined it. "What would you say this is?"

"I don't know," Maura replied, being her usual self. "I won't know for sure until I get a chance to put it through a mass spectrometer."

"But if you had to take a guess?" Jane asked, hoping Maura didn't chew her head off for pressing the issue. Maura continued to focus on the body, unwilling or unable to meet Jane's swirling chocolate eyes.

"If I _had_ to guess," Maura grumbled, "I would say that it is a recreational drug of some sort. One that is crystalline in form." Jane snatched it out of Maura's hand. She opened the baggie, and took a sniff of its contents.

"Why can't you just say that you think its Meth?" Jane groaned as she tapped the packet with her finger and watched it swing back and forth. "It's definitely methamphetamine," Jane concluded confidently. Maura wouldn't ever draw such a conclusion without checking the substance under a microscope and running it through her mass spectrometer. Jane, however, had seen her fair share of drugs from her time in narcotics and vice, and was comfortable drawing such a conclusion. "You know this is a lot of Meth to have on you at one time," Jane said pointedly. "You think they cook crystal here?"

"No," Maura shook her head, "The smell of Methamphetamine production is very distinctive. You'd know it if that was made here." Jane nodded.

"Still," Jane swallowed as she sealed the bag again and placed it in a larger evidence bag, "I'm going to take a look around and see if they have any more drugs stashed here. Frost?!" Frost followed Jane from the room. Maura nodded, looking up from the body to watch Jane retreat. She stared into Jane's back as Jane walked from the room.

Together, Jane and Frost did a quick once over of the house, searching for any other places where the homeowner might have stashed the drugs. "Well," Jane let out a tired sigh. "We've looked everywhere except for the garage and that shed out back," Jane said as she looked out the back window. "Which one do you want?"

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Frost asked with a smile. It was their favorite go to, when it came to drawing straws.

"Sure," Jane smiled. "One. Two. Three." Jane grunted as Frost's paper beat her closed fist.

"I'll take the garage," Frost said decisively. "It looks like a bit of a jungle out there. I mean, seriously, has the dude even heard of a lawnmower?"

"What makes you think the garage is going to look any better?" Jane teased. "Good luck, partner." Jane said as she pulled open the slider, "Send a search party if you don't hear from me." Jane stepped through, slid the slider shut, and walked through the overgrown and wild grass that made up the back yard. A beaten path, made her sure that the backyard had seen some foot traffic lately. But there was little else worth noting.

Jane walked the perimeter of large shed and was surprised to find it was a bit larger on the inside than she thought. She heard a loud hum, from an air conditioning unit that was attached to the shed. _Strange_, she thought. _Why would someone need climate control for a shed like this?_ But as she walked the perimeter, she was surprised by the sheer size of the shed. It was deceptively large. She opened the reinforced glass door and stepped inside. An involuntary shiver seized her body as frigid air licked at her skin. And she quickly realized. That not only was the shed, climate controlled, but it was practically an oversized refrigerating unit.

If she had to guess, Jane would have surmised that the glass was bulletproof. It had a wire mesh that also made it impossible to break.

Jane knew that she wasn't standing in an ordinary shed, but rather, she was inside some kind of a run down lab. Jane quickly raised her shirt to cover her nose and mouth. The smell was acrid and overpowering.

"This has to be where they were making the drugs," Jane muttered as she slid the door shut behind her with a loud clank. She was surprised when, noise much like and electronic whirring sounded, sealing itself shut. Faint light spilled in through the thick plane of glass, but for the most part, Jane was in darkness. In the eerie darkness Jane groped around for a light, on either side of the door, but had no such luck. Then she looked up to find, overhead fluorescent lines in rows on the ceiling. After more groping around in the dark, she finally found a chain hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room and pulled. A series of fluorescent light bulbs came to life with a dim hum, and lit the space under a blinding white glow.

Jane looked around slowly, her eyes raking over every surface. Stainless steel covered the majority of surfaces all over the room. The counter tops of several large benches were stained and scoured, but overall the place was pretty clean. Jane swallowed thickly, as she started walking.

Banks of cupboards covered the far wall and Jane walked over to investigate. She pulled on her gloves and wrenched open the cupboards. Bottles lined the shelves. Many of them were labeled in formulas that she didn't understand, but some she recognized as highly corrosive acids, such as undiluted sulfuric acid. There were also many bottles of potent cleaners, bleach and the like. As for anything else, well, perhaps Maura might be able to make sense of the ones Jane couldn't identify. Jane picked up one of the bottles and looked at it. She scrutinized the writing on its edges, and put it back into the cupboard.

She checked all of the other cupboards without making any worthy discoveries and continued walking slowly to the back corner. On the small island across from the back wall there were several microscopes, as well as a large centrifuge. She'd seen Susie, using machines like this in the forensic science lab on occasion. Jane froze as she noticed an abandoned test tube rack, full of sealed test tubes. Carefully, Jane picked a test tube at random and lifted it, holding it up against the light. It didn't take much guessing to surmise what was inside. Blood. The blood was dark, almost black. Jane studied it, looking for markings, but all she found on the label was an alpha-numeric code inscribed in neat print. Quickly, Jane pulled an evidence bag from her pocket and dropped the test tube into it before sealing it. She decided that this could have something to do with the murder, no matter how strange it seemed. Then at random, she picked another glass tube from the rack and did the same. She sealed the bag and stuffed them back into her jacket pocket.

Jane turned around, her eyes growing wide as she saw the counter on the front side of the lab space. Jane carefully made her way around the island.

In comparison to the other side of the room, its surface was an absolute mess, and riddled with an assortment of broken glassware and other materials. Jane quickly decided that its purpose must be different from the other parts of the room. She honestly didn't know what to make of it. She took another step towards the counter to investigate, only to stumble over something taught, a wire only about a foot from the floor. A hiss of air left Jane's lungs as all the tension in the wire broke and she nearly fell forward. Instinctively, Jane's right arm darted out, searching for anything to grab in an effort to regain her stability, and keep her from falling to the floor. Finally, Jane's hand managed to find purchase as it latched onto the counter. She knocked against the counter with most of her body weight, jostling it and its contents.

Jane froze as a light bulb near the edge of the counter was jostled and rolled towards the edge. She lunged for it, trying to keep it from falling, but she couldn't reach it in time. The lightbulb fell off the edge, hit the floor, and shattered into a hundred tiny shards. Jane coughed as a large white cloud was subsequently kicked up into the air. Jane coughed, her lungs burning as she struggled not to breathe in the cloud of powder kicked into the air. But it was too late. Jane was pretty sure she'd already inhaled the substance.

Jane reflexively clamped her hands over her ears, as an alarm started going off. Red light bulbs on the walls started flashing in a dazzling sort of pattern. Jane started shivering violently as a sprinkling system kicked on and water started raining down from the ceiling. The water was freezing cold, and it caused Jane to shiver involuntarily.

Whomever it was that had set up the trip wire, wanted this to happen. And Jane had walked right into it. She felt like a fool.

Jane gingerly moved around to the other side of the table. She found more bulbs filled with the white powder. She didn't want to break any more open. She had no idea what kind of powder was inside. "This is bad. This is really bad," Jane breathed as she examined the powder closely. "What the hell is this?" Jane pushed some things aside, examining the papers underneath. The ink was already running together, making the words indecipherable.

Jane picked up the broken glassware that still had some powder in it and dumped it into an evidence bag. Frantically, Jane looked around. She spied some other peculiar equipment in the other corner, on the right hand side. Jane winced as she walked over to the counter, broken glassware clinking under her feet.

She found a sink.

She quickly occupied herself by peeling off her gloves and tossing them in the trash bin. She found soap, and scrubbed the skin on her hands and arms raw. When she cut the flow of water in the sink, she was surprised to hear, an undercurrent of sound. She turned around, wondering how she hadn't noticed the two transparent mini-refrigerators (or were they freezers?) that stood side by side. She quickly pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and opened the door. Inside were rows and rows of petri dishes. All of them were filled with different substances. As she'd done with the test tubes, Jane looked to the labels. In this case, she found them labeled in latin. All blood drained from her face.

"Holy crap," Jane breathed as her eyes raked over all of the evidence in front of her. So it wasn't about drugs like she had originally anticipated. Instead it was about something worse. Much worse. Her eyes flashed over something, and darted immediately back, freezing over the two words that turned her world upside down. Bacillus Anthracis. Maura had told her what it was once. And the mental picture of elongated oval bacterium that flashed briefly through Jane's mind left no doubt. Anthrax. It was freaking anthrax. Jane shut the door and took a step back, her body shaking. Numbly, she pulled her police issue radio/walkie talkie from her hip and switched it on. Korsak always teased her for not using it, but she figured that if a situation ever warranted it, it would be this one. She clicked it on, checked to make sure that it was on the right channel and pushed down the button.

"Hey, Frost," Jane tried to keep the tremors from her voice. "I found something. Can you come out here a minute? We have a situation," She released the button and waited for a reply.

"Sure thing," she heard Frost's voice through static. Jane examined the countertops next to the fridges, but found nothing. Then, as luck would have it, she spied something tacked to the board above it. She leveraged herself on the counter and pushed herself high enough to pull it off of the back wall.

It was an inventory list…an inventory list of some of the most deadly pathogens known to man, and it made Jane's blood run cold. She stopped breathing. She stopped breathing, because in her heart she knew what had been in the lightbulbs. It had been Anthrax or something equally as awful, and Jane had freaking inhaled it. Jane swallowed thickly, coughs wracked through her body and she was suddenly unable to breathe.

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_**A/N: Please don't hate me! Review and let me know what you think! **_

_**I'll explain more about what Maura and Jane's fight was about in future chapters!**_


	2. Uncertainty

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Uncertainty**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's chapter 2! Thanks for your interest in this story!**

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_It was an inventory list…an inventory list of some of the most deadly pathogens known to man, and it made Jane's blood run cold. She stopped breathing. She stopped breathing, because in her heart she knew what had been in the lightbulbs. It had been Anthrax or something equally as awful, and Jane had fucking inhaled it. Jane swallowed thickly, coughs wracked through her body and she was suddenly unable to breathe. She knew she was only psyching herself out, but she couldn't stop. _

"Jane!?" she heard Frost's shout and quickly spun around, rushing towards the door. She couldn't let anyone else inside. Debris skittered across the floor as Jane's boots accidentally jostled them. This time, the noise was lost on her, overshadowed by her intense focus to get the door before he did. Jane threw out her arms, holding the door shut. She was fortunate enough to reach the door a few seconds before Frost, and she was able to flip the lock and slide the bolt into the floor, ensuring that no one could enter. Frost tried to push the door open, only for it to rattle against its frame. Frost voiced a question as his eyes met Jane's apologetic ones. "Jane, what's going on?" he asked. "You said you found something!?"

"Yeah," Jane answered hoarsely. "I guess you could say that."

"What is it?"

"I… It seems pretty serious," Jane swallowed while shaking her head, "But I can't be sure." Jane shut her eyes and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. She suddenly had one hell of a headache. "Listen," Jane breathed calmly as her eyes fluttered open again, "I need you to do me a favor." Frost swallowed thickly, his palms sweating. A really bad feeling lodged itself in the pit of his stomach. It was with good reason. "I'm not getting any cell reception in here. And I…I need you to call the CDC, Homeland Security, and the FBI," Jane listed, "and I need you to tell them that we've…" Jane cleared her throat, and corrected herself, "I-I've found Anthrax." Frost stared back at Jane for a long minute. Part of him was waiting for her to burst into laughter, but it didn't come. She wasn't joking. She was completely serious. And he finally understood the magnitude of the situation. "Tell them that there's other stuff here too. The anthrax is the only thing I'm a hundred percent sure about."

"Jane," Frost could hardly take a breath, "Are you sure?" Jane just nodded. "Do you think that you might have contacted it directly?" Jane squeezed her eyes shut and let her head fall forward. Her head made a dull thump as it jostled the glass. She expelled a shaky breath.

"Yeah," Jane replied numbly. "I think so. Frost…it's a freaking mess in here." Frost shook his head in disbelief. "It's hard to know what I've come in contact with. But I guarantee you…none of it's good."

"Hey, it's going to be okay," Frost consoled. "You know, maybe it's not as bad as it looks."

"Frost," Jane's voice was resolute. "I need you to tell everyone inside what is going on. There's a good chance they've been exposed to it too. You can't let them leave until the CDC gets here and clears them first. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, Jane," Frost nodded. "It's just… What exactly should I tell them? Because I'm pretty sure that if I say one word about Anthrax, they're going to panic."

"You know," Jane, sighed, "You're probably right. Just make the phone call. If you have to tell anybody, I would tell Maura. She's always been able to handle pressure well, and I'm sure that she won't panic. She's always very level headed. Just ask her what to do. She'll know."

"Okay," he nodded. Jane watched as he pulled out his phone. "I'm going to go make some phone calls. You sit tight."

"Yeah," Jane let out a hollow laugh, before saying sarcastically, "It's not like I have much of a choice here."

"Jane, I'm sorry," Frost shook his head.

"It's not your fault," Jane replied calmly. "It's mine. I should have used more caution. Damn it, I feel like such an idiot."

"Jane?" Frost spoke calmly, as met her eyes. "Is there anything I can do? Anything that you need?"

"Actually," Jane closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, "I have to ask. Frankie's not…. God, he's not here, is he?"

"No," Barry shook his head. "Last I heard, he's still at the station."

"Okay," Jane nodded, letting her hand drop away. "Good. That's good," Jane whispered. "I need you to make sure that he doesn't come within a mile of this place. Please. Promise me."

"You have my word," Frost assured her.

"Thanks, partner," Jane breathed, watching as Frost turned around and started to walk away. He was a good partner. He wasn't Korsak, but in some ways that was a good thing. Frost always had Jane's back when she needed it.

Frost rushed back inside the house, dialing Cavanaugh. He knew that their captain would want to know what was going on. Cavanaugh would also know who to call and what to say. There were codes for this sort of thing. After making what was easily one of the most difficult calls he'd ever had to make during his time as a detective. Frost marched into the living room to see Maura finishing up. She zipped her M.E.'s bag shut and carefully stood, slinging it over her shoulder. She met his eyes and her brow furrowed. She could sense from the way that his muscles were coiled that something was wrong.

"Hey," she greeted somberly, "I'm finished with the body for now. You guys ready to go?" Frost couldn't bring himself to reply, so he just stared back into Maura's eyes for a long moment.

"Barry?" Maura asked as she took a step forward. "Is everything okay?"

"Actually," Frost cleared his throat. "We have a bit of a situation. Can I talk to you in private?" Frost's eyes raked over all of the crime scene techs in the room. He was relieved that Frankie was nowhere in sight. At least Jane wouldn't have to worry about her brother contracting Anthrax.

Her heart seemed lodged in her throat as she realized Jane wasn't with him. "Where's Jane?"

"Can we go somewhere a little more private?" he asked. "We need to talk."

"Uh," Maura still looked somewhat troubled. "Sure. What's up, Detective Frost?" Frost signaled for her to walk down the hall with him into one of the bedrooms. He led her inside. "Where's Jane?" Maura asked again as Frost shut the door, separating them from everyone else.

"She's…uh…she's," Frost couldn't get the words out. He couldn't tell the honey brunette that Jane was fine because she wasn't. He couldn't tell her everything was fine, because it wasn't. "She's in the backyard."

"Is everything alright?"

"Dr. Isles," Frost cleared his throat, and then spoke in a hushed tone. "When you were looking over the body, you didn't find anything unusual, did you?"

"No, nothing overtly suspicious," Maura replied. "Why?"

"You didn't see any white powder, or anything else besides the crystal Meth that you handed off to Jane?" he asked for clarification.

"No," Maura replied assertively. "Why? Barry, your demeanor is a little disconcerting. What's going on?" Frost took a deep breath. His hands started to shake, and so he shoved them deep into the pockets of his blazer. He wasn't sure if he could tell her. Everyone knew that Maura and Jane were close, very close. They cared about each other, a lot, and Frost knew that it would be hard on Maura. Jane and Maura didn't seem willing to talk about what exactly had happened between them. But their conduct towards each other didn't make it difficult to guess.

"Jane," his voice cracked uncomfortably and he was forced to start over, "Jane thinks that she might have found Anthrax, as well as a lot of other harmful stuff in the shed out back." Maura stared at him, frozen. "Dr. Isles…err…Maura," Frost said softly, calmly. "Did you hear what I just said?" Still nothing. "Jane found some stuff in the shed out back. She says that she thinks that it's anthrax."

"That's ridiculous," Maura replied. "What in the hell would anthrax be doing in a place like this?" She laughed. "Tell Jane if she's trying to pull one over on me, it's not working. Plus, it's not funny. You don't joke about something like that. You just don't." She stopped talking as she caught sight of the look on Frost's face. He looked like he was in actual physical pain.

"Doc, it's…it's not a joke," he said softly. "the CDC and the FBI are already on their way."

Maura struggled to breathe as the words slowly sank in. It wasn't a joke. Something told her that Jane was in mortal danger. She muttered something under her breath, and then shook her head slowly. She tried to take a step, and her knees gave out. She couldn't stop tremors from overtaking her body as she realized that she could lose her best friend. Frost steadied her for a moment, making sure she could stand on her own before letting the M.E. go. She whispered a soft thank you and pushed one arm out towards the wall to steady herself.

"Anthrax?" Maura instantly blanched and swallowed as she tried to fight back the bile in her throat.

"Yes," Frost swallowed. "I called Cavanaugh," Frost managed, "The CDC, the FBI, and Homeland security are on their way. I have instructions that no one else is to leave until they get here and clear us all one by one." Then he added. "I didn't want to tell anyone else, because I'm afraid they'll panic and it'll make things worse."

"That's probably a good idea," Maura agreed.

"Jane seemed to think you would know what to do," Frost said finally, hoping that the detective had been correct in her assumption.

"The first step is containment," Maura said softly. "No one can leave." Frost nodded.

"I'll go make sure no one leaves," Frost said softly.

"Wait," Maura whispered. "Don't tell them. If you tell them they've contacted anthrax, they'll panic. Panicking is the worst possible thing you can do in a situation like this."

"I'll make something up if I have to." Frost said calmly. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"I know a lot of things about Anthrax, Smallpox, and other pathogens, but I'm not accustomed to dealing with a possible bioterrorism situation. The CDC and homeland security are used to dealing with stuff like this. I'm not." Maura took a deep breath. "The first step to dealing with a situation like this would be to strip down and take a shower, in order to remove the spores from your body. But obviously we don't have the proper equipment here to deal with a situation like this."

"Right," Frost choked out awkwardly, "On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble are we in?"

"Unless you have had direct contact with Anthrax spores, you should be fine," Maura spoke calmly. "Jane, however, might be in a lot of trouble. Oh, god, I have to talk to Jane."

Maura squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment and took a steadying breath.

'It's going to be okay. Positivity. It's going to be okay.' Maura spoke to herself in a sort of miniature pep talk.

Frost watched curiously as she started muttering things to herself, rubbing at her eyes as if to wipe away tears. Finally, her eyes opened again and she quickly opened the bedroom door before fleeing and rushing down the hall.

"This is going to be a very. long. day," Frost mumbled before following Maura down the hall. He had a job to do.

Jane started to pace back and forth in the confines of the place that had become her small prison. She reached up to rub at the sore muscles in her neck and shoulders, trying to alleviate the soreness in them. Water still gushed from the pipes in the ceiling. The room was starting to flood in certain places. Fortunately, there was a drain in the center of the room. Otherwise, she probably would have been submerged by now.

When her legs got tired, she finally plopped herself down on an old step stool near the door. As she crumpled, she let her head fall into her hands, and let out a sigh of defeat before ultimately closing her eyes. It felt like she was trapped in a nightmare. She should have listened to her gut when it told her not to go into work that morning. This was bad. In fact, it was so bad that Jane knew she didn't need anyone else to tell her just how bad it was.

"Jane?!" She heard Maura's call out and winced. She could hear the worry and anxiousness in her friend's voice. Maura. Jane couldn't bring herself to move, or rather, she couldn't bring herself to face the honey brunette, who just so happened to be her best friend.

God, life was so unfair sometimes.

Jane swallowed thickly as she thought about her fight with the honey brunette. How could she face her best friend now?

Jane squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her jaw against the emotional agony she felt, as she heard the door rattle as Maura tried to force her way in. "Jane!" Jane let out a groan and stood up, walking across the small room towards the door. She clasped her hands in front of her desperately. She tried to keep from wringing her hands in front of her, but failed.

"Hey," Jane breathed softly, forcing a smile onto her features, but it came across as more of a grimace. Maura noticed how Jane was soaked to the skin.

"Jane," Maura looked visibly distraught. "I talked to Barry. He told me that you thought you'd found Anthrax."

"Yeah," Jane nodded softly, looking at a spot on the tile at her feet.

"Are you sure that's what it is?" Maura asked. "Because I can't imagine it being in a place like this."

"I…I don't know," Jane swallowed. "All I know is that I found this." Jane pulled a piece of paper from her back pocket, unfolded it, and pushed it up against the glass, for Maura to look at. She'd put it in an evidence bag to protect the paper and keep the ink from running. "It's an inventory list." Maura pulled her glasses from her purse and strained to make out the words on the piece of paper Jane held to the door in front of her. Maura's stomach sank. Even if only one of the pathogens from that list were inside the room with Jane, it would be catastrophic. Just that thought made Maura angry. How in the hell would any of those things have wound up in Boston?

'_Oh, god. Please not, Jane_.' Maura pleaded silently.

"There's a sort of freezer unit in the back with anthrax and another dozen pathogens inside. I also encountered light bulbs with a sort of white powder inside. It made me think of the scare in Washington, when the spores mixed in with a sort of white powder," Jane informed her friend. "There's a fair amount of white powder in here. It could be anything."

"I would need to take a look at the powder in order to know whether your assumption is correct," Maura breathed while digging around in her bag. Jane watched as Maura pulled out a surgeon's mask and put it on.

"Hang on," Jane instructed her friend as she walked over to the counter where the bulbs were. She broke one, poured some of the powder into an empty beaker and brought it to the window.

"I can't make any conclusions based on what I'm seeing," Maura said sadly. "It could be nothing more than flour or baking soda. I'd have to run extensive tests on it in order to know its composition."

"I understand," Jane nodded. She disappeared, returning the beaker to its original resting place. When she returned Maura looked lost in thought. Jane sighed, wringing her hands, which were suddenly throbbing.

"Jane," Maura's eyes darted to Jane's hands. "Are your hands bothering you?" Maura sounded distressed by the notion.

"A little," Jane admitted. "But not any more than usual. It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Jane," Maura shook her head. "It's not nothing." Maura's chest constricted as she saw the far away look in Jane's eyes. "You're anxious," Maura stated. "Your hands always hurt when you're anxious or stressed."

"Wouldn't you be anxious, if you were me?" Jane asked. "I mean… How bad is this situation?"

"Bad," Maura admitted. "But it could be worse. Anthrax can only be transmitted through open cuts or sores, through ingestion, or through inhalation," Maura said confidently, spouting her usual facts. It was for this reason that Jane called her Googlemouth. "You don't appear to have any open cuts, and as long as you don't breathe it in, you'll be fine." Maura held up her surgical mask. "You know… since I'm assuming you don't plan on ingesting it."

"Maur," Jane sighed, not able to tell the woman she loved that she'd probably already contracted it.

"What, Jane?" Maura asked patiently.

"So inhaling Anthrax is bad?" Jane asked, her voice cracking.

"Yes. Don't you remember me telling you? It's most lethal when it's inhaled," Maura announced. Jane closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that just because you've been exposed doesn't mean you have it."

"Right," Jane replied numbly, looking distant. Suddenly, a horrific thought passed through Maura's overactive mind.

"Jane, you didn't…" Maura almost couldn't say it, "you didn't inhale it, did you?"

"What?!" Jane sounded incredulous. "No, of course not…" Jane couldn't look Maura in the eyes when she replied. She knew that Maura could probably see right through her. But her avoidance of Maura's gaze told the blonde all she needed to know.

"Jane," she said sternly, her heart breaking.

Jane finally amended her statement to the truth. "Look, Maur, I… I don't know." Maura paled visibly, looking wary. Jane suddenly had a strange look on her face. Maura pressed her hand to the glass.

"Jane?" Maura's soft compassionate voice was slightly muffled through the glass. "Jane, are you okay?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Jane muttered, not looking at her best friend. Jane gagged, feeling her agitated stomach quiver under her hands, which were briefly pressed against her middle. Jane spun on her right heel, and rushed toward the sink in the back of the room. Jane pressed a hand to her mouth, hoping that she could hold back the torrent making its way up past her throat. She made it to the sink just in time.

Even through the glass, Maura could hear Jane's retching and winced.

"Jane!" Maura shouted, as she tried the door. "Jane, are you all right?" Jane leant against the sink, her hands grasping either side of the industrialized stainless steal sink. Her legs trembled beneath her, threatening to give out on her at any moment. She turned and sank to the floor, plopping onto the hard, tiled floor with a groan. She didn't feel well at all.

She made a mental note-more a sarcastic one-to thank her mother for making her eat this morning, only so she could throw it up in the sink. Maura, not able to see the detective, started to panic, rattling the glass as she tried to force the door open.

"Jane!" Maura nearly whimpered. "Open the door!" Jane just closed her eyes, feeling slightly dizzy. A sheen of cold sweat was building on her face, neck, and shoulders, as well as the small of her back. She knew she had to get up from the floor, but wasn't honestly sure if she could pull herself up and make it back to the door. However, as Maura's cries grew more frantic, she knew she'd have to muster the strength somehow, and struggled to get up from the floor. As she made her way to the door- pulling her way along more than walking- Jane could see the look of anguish on Maura's face.

"I'm okay, Maur," Jane rasped.

"Open the door." Maura's logic had completely deserted her, in the favor of her concern and her feelings for Jane. Deep down she knew why Jane couldn't do it, but it still hurt when Jane simply shook her head.

"Maura," Jane spoke softly. "It's okay. I'm okay."

"Please," Maura begged sadly, "I need to check your vitals and make sure you're okay."

"Maur," Jane shook her head, "I'm not opening it. Not for you. Not for anyone. This is Anthrax we're talking about. Or smallpox. It…It doesn't matter what it is." Jane swallowed, her voice sounding hollow. "I am not willing to let you risk exposure, not for me anyways. It'll be fine. We just have to wait for the CDC to get here."

"Jane," Maura said calmly. "The sprinkling system would have dispersed any spores in the air. I don't plan on touching the powder, or going anywhere near the other spores. So just open the door."

"Maur," Jane couldn't stop her voice from cracking. "I can't. I'd sooner die before I risk your life."

"Jane," Maura couldn't stop the tears from building in her eyes. "I'm begging you. Please."

"I'm sorry," Jane apologized. "But I can't. I can't do it, Maura." Jane sat down with her back to the door. "Stay with me?" Tears started to streak down Maura's cheeks as she sat down, mirroring Jane's posture.

"I'll be here," Maura whispered.

* * *

_**A/N: Please Review!**_


	3. Hold My Hand

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Our Last Days**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's another chapter! Sorry for the delay!**

**And a special thank you to my readers/reviewers for your interest in this story! I dearly hope that I don't disappoint!**

* * *

_"Maur," Jane couldn't stop her voice from cracking. "I can't. I'd sooner die before I risk your life."_

_"Jane," Maura couldn't stop the tears from building in her eyes. "I'm begging you. Please."_

_"I'm sorry," Jane apologized. "But I can't. I can't do it, Maura." Jane sat down with her back to the door. "Stay with me?" Tears started to streak down Maura's cheeks as she sat down, mirroring Jane's posture._

_"I'll be here," Maura whispered._

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

"Jane?" Maura asked after they sat in silence for a long time.

"Hmm?" Jane hummed softly, with her eyes closed.

"I owe you an apology," Maura whispered. Jane shook her head.

"No," Jane shook her head. "You don't." Jane sighed. "You were right to be upset with me."

"I was just confused, " Maura said softly. "You were avoiding me, Jane. And I didn't understand what I'd done to earn that degree of indifference from you."

"Well, now you know," Jane stated.

"Jane," Maura sighed. "Are we going to talk about what happened?"

"Maura, please," Jane urged her. "I'd rather just forget it happened."

"Why?" Maura turned to look at Jane. "Jane, you can't just expect me to forget what happened."

"You don't feel the same way," Jane replied. "So that pretty much settles it."

"Jane," Maura swiveled around. "Look at me." Jane didn't move. "I mean it, Jane! I need you to look at me!"

Jane swiveled and looked over Maura's shoulder to see some men in ridiculous looking Hazmat suits approaching.

"Finally," Jane spoke, pointing over Maura's shoulder. "They're here." Maura spun around, realizing that her time with Jane was short. Jane watched as they, shared a brief conversation with the M.E. before ultimately asking her to step aside.

They started asking Jane a bunch of questions about her discovery and what sort of other things were inside. She told them the very same things that she'd told Maura, trying to give them as many details as possible. Maura watched and waited patiently. They finally told Jane they'd be back and started setting up a large white tent complete with a decontamination shower. Jane watched as they corralled Maura and the others, ushering them into the tent. It seemed like hours passed as they checked each person over. Jane waited as patiently as possible, hoping that everyone else was okay.

She sat down on the floor, and pulled her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and hunched over to cradle her head against them, hoping that some way or some how she'd be able to drift off to sleep. Time seemed to stop altogether.

She kept glancing at her watch, forgetting it was broken. Water had seeped into the watch, and it was dead. Hours passed without seeing so much as a single person. She knew that the CDC was just taking care of everyone else.

Jane was shivering violently for a long time. It felt like she was continuously being submerged in ice water. Her teeth chattered involuntarily, until a point in time where she simply stopped shivering.

Finally, when the sun was starting to sink below the horizon, and light started to fade, Jane heard a tapping against the glass.

"Jane!" Jane opened her eyes. She wanted to move, but her whole body was stiff. "Jane, it's me!"

Jane looked to the glass, and confirmed that it was Maura. Jane slowly pushed herself up, feeling encouraged to see her best friend.

"Hey," Maura greeted with a smile.

"Hey," Jane greeted shyly, her arms wrapped around her body. "You okay?"

"Yes," Maura nodded. "They're going to transport everybody to the lab and hold them in isolation until they get the blood results, but everybody passed the preliminary examination."

"Good," Jane swallowed. "That's really good."

"Jane," Maura tried to speak, but Jane wasn't sure if she could bear hearing whatever it was that the medical examiner was trying to say.

"Maura," Jane said finally. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything." Jane cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice from quavering too much when she said, "You should really get back to the lab. I'll call you as soon as they're finished with me, okay?"

"Jane," Maura shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not… I'm not leaving you."

"Look," Jane grumbled. "It's okay. I…I think they're about to make me strip down and take a cold shower. And if I am being completely honest, I'd rather you not stay for that part." Maura met Jane's eyes, and Jane could see Maura was having a really hard time.

"But you…" Maura realized she couldn't even bring herself to consider the possibility that Jane might have contracted anthrax. She was sure Jane didn't want to have to keep revisiting the notion either. And so she amended her words. "They might put you through a lot, and I don't want you to be alone," Maura whined. "Jane, please. You could be…"

"Maura," Jane interrupted with what she hoped was a reassuring smile, "What is it that you've always told me about making presumptions?"

"Not to make any," Maura sighed. "And that you need to rely purely on scientific facts when it comes to discovering the truth." Maura reached up to the glass placing her hand over Jane's. "Okay," Maura swallowed, "I understand your point, but I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," Jane breathed while meeting Maura's eyes.

"All right, Detective," one of the men spoke as they finished setting things up. "Let's get you out of there." Jane slid the dead bolt up from the floor, and unlocked the door. It took most of her strength to pull it open. Eagerly, Jane walked out of the room, her wet clothes sticking to her body.

Jane let out a grunt as her best friend suddenly assaulted her, enveloping her in a hug.

Jane violently shivered and Maura gasped as the felt Jane's icy skin against her own.

"God, Jane," Maura shuddered. "You're freezing cold!"

"G-Got a free shower," Jane muttered through chattering teeth. "W-Water w-was a b-bit c-cold, though."

"You're hypothermic!" Maura stated. "I need a thermal blanket over here. Now!" Maura shouted to a couple of nearby officials. Maura abruptly reached for Jane's wrist, she wasn't surprise when her fingers felt Jane's sluggish pulse against her fingertips. "Jane, we need to get you out of these clothes, now." Maura started peeling away Jane's jacket. Maura's stomach clenched, as Jane let out a noise akin to a lethargic groan.

"I need you to remove everything in your pockets and put it in this bag." Maura pulled out an assortment of items from Jane's jacket pocket, and followed his instructions. Placing the bagged evidence into a larger biohazard bag.

"Alright," he said softly afterwards, "Now I need you both to remove your clothes, hand them off to my friend, here, and step into the shower," he instructed. Jane looked at Maura, her cheeks flushing with color. This was precisely what she had been hoping to avoid. Maura, who seemed oblivious to the whole matter, started peeling off Jane's shirt.

"M-Maur," Jane whispered. "I…I can take off my own clothes."

"But that wouldn't be much fun for me now, would it?" Maura teased.

"W-Was that a joke?" Jane chuckled. "Now I know that the world is ending. Maura Isles just made a joke."

"I believe it was more of an innuendo," Maura said with a smile. Then she winked at Jane.

"Okay…Okay," Maura relented. "You can take off your own clothes."

"I'm sorry, doctor," one of the techs spoke, "But you're going to need to go through the decontamination shower again." Maura nodded, and started peeling off her jumpsuit. She'd already been hosed down once, but hugging Jane was more than worth a second shower.

Jane walked the short distance into the box marked on the ground and peeled off her button up shirt, as well as her drenched undershirt, leaving her in a sports bra. Then her hands darted to the button of her jeans. Jane could have sworn she felt Maura's eyes on her at some point during her disrobing.

Maura swallowed thickly as her eyes darted over to where Jane was pulling off her shirt. Her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of the bare skin of Jane's midriff. She could see Jane's external oblique muscles as the brunette hunched over to undo her belt buckle.

With agile fingers, Jane unbuttoned them and tugged down the zipper. She stepped out of her pants and watched as one of the men bagged her clothes in a biohazard bag. She looked over her bare shoulders and watched as several men entered the shed she had been confined to for so long. They were dressed in full-body, neon yellow and black suits that were complete with facemasks. They looked strange and foreign, and were unlike anything Jane had ever seen before. She shook her head to clear her mind of its rather unusual thoughts. Methodically, Jane took off her bra and handed it to the man next to her.

"Okay. Step into the spray please ma'am," the man next to her requested. She stepped into the apportioned area, and realized quickly that when they said shower, that they really meant that they were just going to hose her down. Jane squeezed her eyes shut as they turned the water on, and aimed at her with the spray. Violent shivers shot up her spine and her whole body reacted instinctively to the water as it met her icy skin.

"You having fun over there, Maura?" Jane teased. She didn't mean to grab the blonde's attention, nor did she intend for the blonde to look at her. But Maura did, nonetheless, allowing herself to marvel at Jane's impeccable body. With her well-defined muscles, Jane's body could have easily been sculpted in Marble.

"This isn't exactly how I envisioned my day going when I woke up this morning," Maura replied. "And I simply must say that all of my fantasies involving you and a shower were nothing like this."

"That's funny, Maura," Jane shot back. "That's _really_ funny."

"You're making fun of me," Maura pouted.

"Actually, I'm being serious," Jane replied. "You're trying to cheer me up, aren't you?"

"I'm just trying to diffuse the tension of the moment, Jane," Maura said honestly.

For modesty's sake, Jane tried to cover as much as she could, as people she didn't even know scrubbed her raw, but it was futile. Jane knew that they had probably had seen more naked bodies than they'd like to admit to in their line of work. When they were finished, they offered her some coveralls and an electric thermal blanket to help her warm up, before ushering her into another larger area. Someone walked up to her with a wand of some sort and quickly tested her for radiation. Finally, they sat her down in a chair. Maura appeared a couple of minutes later, and took a seat next to Jane. Jane felt her heart pick up in her chest as Maura's hand sought hers. The blonde laced their fingers together and squeezed.

"Maur," Jane said softly as she looked at their interlinked hands. She knew it meant something different to her than it meant to Maura. She knew the doctor was just trying to be a good friend and comfort her, but it hurt. Jane sighed and pulled her hand away. Maura felt a pang at the loss of her best friend's touch.

"Detective Rizzoli?" a man stepped into the tent and sat down next to Jane. "I'm Agent Rodgers. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"

"Not at all," Jane rasped. "Go ahead."

"As we understand it, you were here investigating a murder?" he stated, but his inflection at the end made it a question.

"Yes," Jane replied.

"What made you enter the shed?" he asked softly.

"Well," Jane cleared her throat. "Maura…err…Dr. Isles found something suspect on our murder vic. I'd done a fair amount of time in narcotics and was able to identify it as Meth. Frost and I thought that there might be more drugs stashed in the house, but when we searched the house we came up empty." Jane paused. "We thought that there might be something in the garage or the shed, so we split up to search. I went out back."

She gave a play by play of events to the agent from Homeland security, before they finally released her to a government hospital for testing.

"Okay, Detective Rizzoli," Donovan Rodgers spoke as he leant forwards, elbows on his thighs. "I think that's all we need to know for now. We'll release you to the hospital for further testing." Jane tried not to look alarmed. "It's just to ensure that you aren't infected."

"Excuse me," Jane caught the attention of the officer as he stood up to leave. "Have you heard anything else from the agents that took my colleagues back to the precinct? Are they okay?"

"Yeah," he nodded, speaking in a deep voice, "The CDC did extensive testing. All the blood samples came back negative for anthrax, or any other pathogens. They'll be fine. We haven't found any trace of any pathogens inside the house. They weren't exposed."

"Thank god," Jane breathed, as she reached up to run her hands through her still sopping wet, and unruly curly, hair. "What about the shed? Did they find anything?"

"You were right," he swallowed. "There's definitely an assortment of pathogens in there. It also looks like they've also developed a pretty crude, but effective method of dispersal, one that you now know firsthand. Wind is a natural method of dispersal. All they'd have to do is drop one of the light bulbs, and let the wind take over. We're still trying to work out how they came to possess it, and we're trying to figure out if there's more stuff out there. We'll let you know as soon as we know anything more." Jane nodded.

"Well," the man sitting across from her scribbled one last thing in his notebook and flipped it shut. "That's all I need for now. I'll be in touch, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate your cooperation. You did the right thing by keeping calm and calling us right away. Because of you, we have a chance to get ahead of this thing and stop an act of terrorism."

"Anything I can do to help," Jane said calmly. "It's my duty to serve and protect, sir. I just hope things work out." Jane looked at the entrance as two men clad in navy blue paramedics uniforms entered.

"They're going to take you to the hospital so that we can do some more testing," the officer informed her. Jane just nodded. "You'll be going too, Dr. Isles." The forensic pathologist nodded and looked complacent, after all, she hadn't expected anything different.

Jane's head fell into her hands. If her friend had contracted anthrax because of her, she'd never forgive herself.

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**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Together, Jane and Maura headed to a private government hospital. They were lead into a small-reinforced glass room, with two beds. Jane and Maura sat down on their respective mattresses, facing one another.

"Jane," Maura spoke softly. "Talk to me."

"You never should have hugged me," Jane said angrily. "Even if the spores were washed away, it wasn't worth the risk."

"I was worried about you, Jane!" Maura defended. "Did you really expect me to just do nothing?"

"God, Maur," Jane's voice cracked. "If anything happens to you…"

"Now you know how I feel, Jane," Maura breathed. They both turned to the door, as several individuals-two in white lab coats-entered.

"Hello," one of the men greeted. "I'm Dr. Greg Parker. This is Dr. Riley. We're here to take care of you." Then. "Jane Rizzoli?"

"That's me," Jane raised her hand. "And that's Dr. Maura Isles."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Dr. Parker greeted as he shook Maura's hand. "I'm a fan of your work. Your academic article on the rehydration of necrotic tissue was thoroughly enlightening."

"Thank you," Maura smiled. The two doctors continued to have an in depth conversation about said article.

"Jane?" Jane tore her eyes away from Maura and over to Dr. Riley. "I'm Keith. I'm going to be your primary physician. And this is Moiraine. She's going to be taking some blood, for testing."

"That's a beautiful name," Jane said softly as she offered a smile to the nurse.

"Thank you," she smiled in return. "Is there anywhere they've had luck drawing your blood in the past?"

"I'm a hard stick," Jane said with a smile. "So anywhere you can find something."

"We'll insert an I.V.," she said finally. "That way we'll be able to get blood without having to stick you repeatedly. Although we may have to poke you again, if we need a blood culture." Jane watched as the nurse pulled on a pair of gloves and set about getting the proper supplies from her caddy. She quickly wrapped a tourniquet around Jane's upper arm, and started running her fingers over the crook of Jane's elbow, Jane's forearm, and her hand.

"These scars," she whispered.

"Scalpels," Jane said in explanation.

"God, I'm so sorry," Moiraine apologized, "sometimes I say things aloud when I don't mean to."

"It's okay," Jane assured her. "I don't mind."

"Ah," Moiraine sighed. "There! I've found a vein." Jane was grateful as Moiraine cleaned the area with alcohol. "Okay, you're going to feel a little stick." Jane's fist clenched as she waited for the sharp pinch of the needle. Jane was surprised when she felt nothing.

Jane watched as blood flowed through the cannula, and into a test tube. The nurse took a handful of test tubes worth of blood. "I'll get this to the lab," the nurse spoke as she flushed the line.

There wasn't a break in activity as a man dressed in a suit and tie walked into the room. Jane quickly realized it to be another doctor. But this one was sporting a badge, sporting his qualifications, which undoubtedly identified him as a physician from the CDC. He had striking blue eyes and wavy brown hair. He was approximately 6 foot two, and his most notable feature was a dimpled chin.

"Detective Rizzoli," he greeted. "I'm Dr. Berman, from the CDC. We didn't get the chance to meet earlier, but I saw you at the scene. Your color is coming back."

"Please," Jane implored him, as she held her hand out for him to shake. He took it, and gave it a confident shake before letting go. "Call me Jane." He nodded. Jane tried to keep her breathing even as she asked. "You find anything in the evidence you acquired?"

"About that," he cleared his throat. Maura suddenly stopped talking to Dr. Parker, her attention piqued. "We found something a bit peculiar about the blood samples in the test tubes you collected at the scene."

"What about it was peculiar?" Maura asked, jumping into the conversation.

"The blood came from an individual infected with what we believe to be an engineered viral infection," Agent Rodgers replied. "It's what we in the CDC call a hybrid. It displays characteristics of an infection and a virus. It makes it harder to treat, because it's more resistant to antibiotics."

"What about it makes you think it was engineered?" Maura asked. "I find it hard that someone outside of the scientific community, would be able to do something like this. You'd have to have extensive knowledge of Biology to manipulate a virus."

"It would be easier to show you. Would you like to take a look, Dr. Isles?" he asked softly.

"Sure!" Maura replied eagerly. "Jane?"

"You go," Jane breathed quietly. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to lay down for a while, since there's a bed in here and all." Maura nodded, watching as Jane lay down on the mattress and closed her eyes.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

When Maura walked back into the room an hour later, Jane was tossing and turning. Maura thought she was having a nightmare. She walked over and sat down on the edge of Jane's bed. The curly haired brunette's features were contorted, and a thin sheen of sweat was on Jane's forehead and neck. Jane's breathing was much too ragged for a peaceful slumber. Something in Maura's lower belly clenched as she heard Jane moan.

"Jane," Maura whispered softly, reaching out. She ran her hand gently over Jane's back, rubbing gentle circles between her friend's shoulder blades. "Jane, honey, wake up."

"Don't," Jane breathed, her body tensing. Maura pulled her hand away. She stood up and knelt down in front of Jane. She reached up, brushing a strand of curly hair behind Jane's ear.

"Jane," Maura repeated softly.

"Oh, god," Jane moaned, "Don't stop." Maura gasped, feeling a surge of desire shoot through her body at the low timbre of Jane's voice and the way the ebony haired woman was begging for something unseen. Maura's eyes darted to Jane's lips, her own breathing quickening as she felt the urge to kiss those lips grow exponentially. "Ma? What?! No," Jane's raspy voice filled the room. "No. No I wasn't watching coffee porn. Wait! No, please! Don't… Don't turn it off." Jane's eyes suddenly fluttered open.

"Maur?" Jane questioned, her voice still thick with sleep. "Wha… What are you doing?"

"You were talking in your sleep," Maura explained. "I thought you were having a nightmare. I was trying to wake you up."

"I was?" Jane asked as she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes. "What did I say?"

"You denied watching coffee porn, and then you begged your mother not to turn it off," Maura smiled.

"You're messing with me," Jane said with a laugh.

"I can't lie," Maura said while waggling her eyebrows.

"Oh, god," Jane groaned as she lifted her hands to her face to hide the flush overtaking her cheeks. "This is so embarrassing. I seriously said that?" Jane's hands fell away.

"Yes. And you made it sound _really_ important," Maura laughed.

"I can't believe that I _actually_ said that," Jane said, looking slightly mortified.

"So you like coffee porn, huh?" Maura teased.

"I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" Jane asked.

"Nope," Maura replied, with a mischievous look in her eyes. "Jane," Maura said after a long moment's silence. "When are we going to talk about what happened?"

Jane opened her mouth to answer, but closed it when the door opened.

"I've got good news, Dr. Isles," Dr. Parker announced as he entered. "Your blood work from earlier came back. You are free to go." Maura looked relieved, then a heartbeat later, she looked crestfallen. "What about… What about Jane?"

"Maur," Jane said calmly. "It's okay."

"No. It's not," Maura protested.

"Jane's blood sample contained a high number of white blood cells," Dr. Parker revealed.

"What does that mean?" Jane asked.

"It could be nothing," Dr. Parker replied. "It might just mean that you're fighting a flu virus, or…"

"Or it could mean that you're infected," Maura cut in. Jane squeezed her eyes shut, and reached up to pinch her nose.

"We have to run more tests to be sure," Dr. Parker said after a long moment's silence.

"Maur," Jane's voice was tense, as her throat threatened to close up on her. "You should go."

"No," Maura shook her head. "I'm not leaving you, Jane."

"Yes. You are," Jane shot back. "You can't stay here forever. It's getting late. You…You should go."

"Actually," Dr. Parker piped up. "It would be better if you went home, Dr. Isles. Now that you have been cleared, and Jane has not, we need to keep Jane in isolation until she's cleared."

"See?" Jane said pointedly. "Go home, Maura. There's no sense in sleeping in a chair or in an uncomfortable hospital bed for me."

"Okay," Maura replied. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Jane said resolutely.

"Okay," Maura whispered, not knowing what else to say. "And Jane?" Maura's voice was hardly above a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I… I'm sorry," Maura confessed in a broken voice, as traitorous tears broke forth and started streaming down Maura's cheeks. Maura reached up to brush them away, and Jane watched as Maura's perfect porcelain features contorted in distress as she tried to come to grips with her emotions.

"I'm sorry too, Maur," Jane replied honestly. "Look, everything is going to be fine. I promise. We'll make it through this. Just like we always do." Jane grunted as Maura wrapped her arms around Jane, in a sort of vice grip, clinging on for dear life. The blonde burrowed her face in the crook of Jane's neck.

"Uh, Maur?" Jane breathed as she gently rubbed circles on Maura's back. "Maur, I…I don't really do hugs." Jane cleared her throat. "And from what you've told me, neither do you." Maura didn't move. She spent a long moment just breathing in Jane's scent.

"Maur, you can let go, you know?" Jane felt her heart swell as Maura only held on even more tightly. Jane just rode it out, letting Maura hug her for as long as the blonde needed. Finally, and yet after a time that seemed much too short, the blonde slowly pulled away. Eyes met and locked, and for a long moment, neither woman could breathe.

"I…I should go," Maura whispered.

"Y-Yeah," Jane breathed out. Part of her wanted to beg her best friend not to leave. But she couldn't bring herself to speak the words.

"Hey," Maura spoke softly. "Is there anything that I can do for you? Anything that you need?"

"Actually," Jane sighed. "I was sort of hoping that you'd ask. Could you… Could you take care of my family for me? I mean…could you make sure that they know what's going on? You know how my mom is. And I'm sure she'll listen to you."

"Of course, Jane," Maura smiled. "You know I will."

"I know," Jane agreed. "Oh, and can you make sure that someone takes care of Jo for me?"

"Yeah," Maura nodded. "I'm sure Korsak would be happy to, but even if he can't, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Maura," Jane said gratefully.

"You know I'd do anything for you, Jane," Maura said simply.

"Still," Jane chuckled. "It means a lot. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jane." Jane tried to put on a good face for Maura, as she saw the way the M.E. was struggling not to fall apart.

"Don't worry, Maur," Jane reminded her, "It's going to be fine." Jane grasped Maura's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

Maura forced a smile, even though she knew that Jane couldn't make that promise, and looked to where her hand was joined with Jane's.

"As soon as I know anything, you'll know," Jane promised. Maura nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Without another word, she pulled her hand out of Jane's and exited the room. Jane stared after the M.E, wishing that she could believe that things were going to be okay. Jane resigned herself back to the comfort of the bed as she waited for the men outside to finish. After what seemed like an eternity, someone rapped on the door.

The next nearly twenty-four hours, Jane spent getting poked and prodded. She imagined that by the time they were done with her, that they'd done every possible test known to man. Still, they shared little with her during the process. She just wanted to know if she was going to live beyond the next week or not. But worst of all, she wondered if she was ever going to be able to make things right with Maura.

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_**A/N: More to come soon! Please review!**_


	4. Midnight Sun

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Our Last Days**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: You guys have been so wonderful! I hope that this story truly does continue to get better and better!  
**

* * *

Jane let a sleepy groan, shifting on the uncomfortable hospital bed. Groggily, her eyes blinked open. She lay still for a minute, just staring at the ceiling. She wondered how many minutes had ticked by this time. She hadn't been able to sleep. Nurses were in and out in a continuous stream.

Jane lifted up a muscular arm, using her hand to wipe the soreness from her eyes. She let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes again. She was in isolation, waiting to find out if she was infected with one of the deadliest pathogens known to man. Swallowing over her unbearably dry throat she realized, for the first time, that the odds were against her. She might be dying. There wouldn't be any more hiding from it. Everyone at the precinct would know about what had happened and why. And Maura…Oh god, Maura was left to comfort her family. Jane might be dying and Maura could do nothing. Jane felt her heart jolt in her chest at the revelation. With another defeated sigh, Jane squeezed her eyes shut more tightly, wishing she could drift into a peaceful dreamless sleep that she so dearly missed. Unfortunately, things just weren't that simple. She had to face the truth. Jane rolled over, and she let out a gasp as a sharp pain surged through her hip bone. Jane's eyes flashed open and her stomach dropped. She pushed herself into a seated position.

Jane looked to the door as it was pushed open. She immediately recognized Dr. Berman in a white lab coat, complete with slacks, a dress shirt, and tie. Jane wondered if he ever wore clothes that were simply comfortable.

"Evening, Detective," he greeted with a smile. Dimples deepened at the corner of his mouth as he greeted her.

"Please! I told you," Jane reprimanded playfully, "To call me Jane."

"Sorry," he looked sheepish, "Old habits die hard, I guess." He took a moment to meet Jane's eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Jane said in a deep rasp. Her voice was still scratchy from disuse. "Better than fine, actually."

"Good," he smiled. "That's good."

"Any news?" Jane asked softly.

"Actually," he looked elated. "I've come to tell you that you're free to go."

"What?" Jane asked in disbelief. "If this is a joke, it's not funny."

"I assure you, it's no joke, Jane," Nate smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Your blood cultures came back. We didn't find anything objectionable. You can go home."

"Oh my god," Jane whispered. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" Jane jumped up and Nate jumped in alarm as Jane did the unthinkable and hugged him. He laughed as she let him go and proceeded to ump her fist in the air.

"Now," Nate said seriously. "Jane, I know that I just gave you the all clear, but this is _really_ important." He suddenly had Jane's full attention. "If you develop any symptoms at all, you need to call me right away. We will come to you, okay? And I don't want you going anywhere in public. At least until we're sure nothing is amiss." He handed her his card.

"What would the initial symptoms be?" Jane asked calmly.

"Well," Dr. Berman cleared his throat. "It could be anything from coughing, to fever, to bleeding sores. The problem is that we don't really know how the engineered viral infection behaves and manifests itself in patients, mainly because we haven't been able to observe an infected person. But I would just say that any unusual symptoms would be cause enough to call us." Jane nodded.

Blue met Brown. Jane stared back, not daring to breathe. Silence passed for a long uncomfortable moment. Jane's heart seemed to be trying to make up for its brief pause and now was threatening to break its way out of her own rib cage. It was racing out of control and Jane couldn't make it stop. She was elated. She couldn't wait to see Maura and tell her the good news.

"I'll send Moiraine in to take care of the paperwork and discharge instructions," Dr. Berman announced. "Feel free to wear the scrubs home, since we had to confiscate your clothes."

"Thank you, Dr. Berman," Jane said softly.

"You're welcome," he replied. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

"You too," Jane reciprocated, "I hope you don't take offense, though, when I say that I hope this is the last time we meet."

"None taken," he replied. "Take care, Ms. Rizzoli." Jane watched as he gave her one last smile and exited the room. Jane paced back and forth anxiously, as she waited for Moiraine to arrive with the paper work.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Jane yawned as she skimmed over the black and white text neatly written in the folder that she currently held tightly in her hands. Moiraine had gone to get Jane some coffee, and so she was left alone temporarily. She flipped over one of the pages studied it, then she carefully signed on the line at the bottom. Jane looked up as Moiraine waltzed in with a coffee clutched in her hand. Jane offered the nurse a grateful smile, and reached out to take the coffee from her when it was offered. The exchange was quick, feather light.

"Thanks," Jane smiled softly, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. God, she was tired. Her eyes hurt, physically hurt. They felt dry.

"You're welcome," Moiraine smiled. "I just figured you could use it. You look like hell right now."

"Gee, thanks," Jane teased.

"Sorry," Moiraine apologized, "I should really censor myself sometimes. I need a filter of some sort."

"It's okay," Jane replied. "I'm sure I really _do_ look like hell right now."

The nurse studied Jane for a long moment, trying to discern what it was about the detective's demeanor and her expression that seemed off. To her, it looked as if Jane had something missing. The olive skinned brunette, who seemed so strong and fearless when they'd met two days ago, looked thoroughly defeated. She suspected that it had to do with the woman that had been with Jane when they'd been here the first day. Jane hadn't been the same, since the honey haired blonde had left. Moiraine didn't mean to pry and analyze, but she just couldn't help it. She felt the detective's pain. She only hoped that things worked out for the selfless brunette. She watched as the raven-haired woman took a tentative sip of the coffee that she'd prepared to Jane's specifications, before Jane ultimately set it down on the table in the room so that she could finish signing the papers.

"You look exhausted," Moiraine said finally. "Are you sure that you're feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Jane, replied as she rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, trying to remove some of the sting in them. They were sore, and slightly bloodshot. For a moment, Jane saw stars, then, as she eased up on the pressure, and removed her fingers, she saw orange. Jane kept her eyes closed for a long moment, wishing she could take a nap, wrapped in Maura's arms. Finally, Jane opened them, and squinted as they became used to the lights in the room once more. "I just haven't been able to sleep," Jane replied honestly. "Being faced with your own mortality is never easy."

Jane swallowed thickly as she thought about the real reason why she hadn't gotten any sleep. She only hoped that Moiraine couldn't read her mind.

She and Maura had been through enough already. Jane had felt so devastated by Maura's feelings for Frankie, that she was determined to pull away, to protect herself from the pain of the realization that Maura really didn't feel the same way about Jane, as Jane felt about her. Jane came to the realization that the only way to protect herself from the hurt, was to stop feeling anything for her. Of course, that was easier said than done. Maura was beautiful, compassionate, extraordinary, and had a magnificent heart. Since Jane knew that she couldn't really draw back emotionally, she had started to do it physically. She became a recluse. She'd turned down countless invitations to the Dirty Robber, had taken on extra shifts so that she had an excuse to miss Sunday dinners at Maura's house. It had nearly cost them their friendship. A chasm had opened up between them, and neither one of them was willing to jump to the other side. Until the fateful night that Maura had confronted Jane.

It was a night that would forever be seared into Jane's memory.

*Flashback*

"_Ma?" Jane called as she skirted Maura's guesthouse. Her brow furrowed, as she glanced down to her phone, checking her mother's text message again. Her heart was pounding. She'd received a text message from her mother's number, saying that there was an emergency, that Maura was gone, and that she needed help. Jane whirled around as she heard footsteps behind her. She gasped as she came face to face with her best friend._

"_Jane!" Maura threw up her hands in a defensive position. She hadn't expected Jane to turn around so quickly._

"_Maura," Jane replied breathlessly. "Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"_

"_Is something wrong?" Maura asked worriedly. _

"_I received a text from my mother," Jane explained. "She said there was an emergency." Jane pulled open the door, and rushed inside the guesthouse, calling for her mother. Maura followed her inside._

"_I…I don't understand," Jane said finally. "She's not even here."_

"_That's because it wasn't her that texted you," Maura said finally. And Jane immediately turned on her, only now registering the phone clutched in Maura's hand._

"_It was you?" Jane whispered in disbelief. "Maur, what…what the hell?!" Jane was breathing much too quickly. "Is this an ambush? Not cool, Maura. I thought my mom was hurt!"_

"_I didn't know what else to do," Maura admitted. "You've been avoiding me, and I…I just want to know what on earth is going on with you," Maura cried out in exasperation. _

"_I already told you!" Jane sniped back. "Nothing... is going on with me."_

"_Bullshit, Jane," Maura said, taking a step forward._

"_What did you just say?" Jane asked in disbelief._

"_I'm calling bullshit!" Maura said simply. "You've been avoiding me. You've been making all sorts of excuses as to why you can't go to the dirty robber, Sunday dinner, movie night. You've lied on more than one occasion to get out of seeing me. And I just don't understand what I did to upset you."_

"_I told you," Jane sighed. "I've just been really busy with work."_

"_Don't lie to me, Jane," Maura said calmly, hoping that if she didn't go after Jane so strongly, that the brunette would relax a little. "Please… Just tell me. What's going on? What did I do?"_

"_Nothing, okay?" Jane inflected. "I swear."_

"_You're still not telling me everything," Maura challenged._

"_About what?" Jane snapped. "Tell me, Maur! What have I been keeping from you?"_

"_You're going undercover for the feds!" Maura said angrily, letting the hurt and the betrayal swell inside of her. "And I had to find out about it from Frankie and Korsak!"_

"_What?!, are you spying on me now?" Jane hissed._

"_You aren't denying it," Maura breathed, suddenly feeling defeated. "Why aren't you denying it?"_

"_Because it's true," Jane conceded. "Maur," Jane sighed. Her tone was suddenly apologetic. _

"_And you wanted to know why I think there's something wrong?" Maura said icily. "You're my best friend, Jane! Best friends don't do that!" Then. "They don't do stuff like this. I mean…were you even going to tell me? Or were you just going to vanish, and let me try to figure it out on my own?"_

"_I was going to tell you!…if, and that's a big if… I decided to do it," Jane replied honestly. "I…I meant to tell you."_

"_What are you running from, Jane?" Maura asked seriously. "Is this about what happened with Casey?"_

"_No." Jane replied easily._

"_Then what, Jane?" Maura persisted. "Because you're running from something." _

"_Okay," Jane sighed. "You're right. Okay? You're right. I am running from something…from someone."_

"_Who?"_

_Jane took a deep breath, exhaled, and the truth slipped out. "You." Maura's breath caught in her throat._

"_But… why, Jane?" Maura asked as tears built in her eyes. "I just don't understand."_

"_I'm sorry," Jane apologized. "But I can't do this now."_

"_I have to go… Oh, god, I…I have to go," Jane suddenly breathed, her feet already moving. But Maura was faster. Jane gasped as Maura's hand seized her, wrapping tightly around her wrist. Jane tugged, but the beautiful blonde refused to let go. Jane began to panic. She was much too close to the woman she loved. _

"_Jane," Maura's voice was frantic. "Jane!"_

"_Let go!" Jane's voice was urgent. "Maur, let…go."_

"_No!" Maura said resolutely. Jane had to tell herself that this was her brother's girlfriend, her best friend. Everything in her body was screaming for her to get away before she did something that she'd regret. "I'm not letting you go, Jane."_

"_I mean it!" Jane said as she fought harder. Maura had her by the arm now. "Let me go!"_

"_Or what, Jane?" Maura challenged. "Or you'll do what?!"_

_All breath was suddenly expelled from Maura's lungs, as Jane, with almost superhuman strength shoved the shorter woman up against the door, rattling it on its hinges. The adrenaline coursing through her body was almost too much. She wanted to scream. Feeling her scarred hands restrained, pinned, by someone else's left her feeling threatened. Sure, part of her knew it was Maura, and that the M.E. would never hurt her. But her subconscious felt threatened and her body reacted instinctively._

_Everything in Maura's body went slack, as Jane's hands came free, the strong muscular brunette pinned her against the door. Maura couldn't bring herself to move a muscle as she caught sight of the panic in Jane's eyes, the almost crazed look taking over chocolate brown orbs. For a second she thought that Jane might actually hurt her, but then Jane did something even more unexpected. Lips hungrily crashed against her own, forcefully taking her mouth and owning her so completely. Despite her efforts to reciprocate, Maura couldn't do anything, because Jane had her hands pinned up over her head. She could only moan as Jane's tongue invaded, and swirled around the contours of her mouth. With each passing second, Maura's body cried out for more. Part of her tried to tell herself that this was her best friend, and that it shouldn't be happening. But Maura couldn't help but relish it. Maura couldn't stop the desperate whimper that escaped as every fiber of her being sought to reciprocate. It was agony and torture, not to be able to do anything._

_Just as suddenly as it started, Jane shot away from her, recoiling as she came back to herself. _

"_Jane?" the breathless whisper and the look of confusion on Maura's beautiful features felt like a knife to her heart._

"_You wanted to know why I can't be around you…why I can't let myself be around you when he's going to be there," Jane said her voice cracking. "You happy now?" Maura flinched, as if she'd been slapped. The answer to that question was a resounding no. Maura felt like an idiot. How had she not pieced it all together before? _

"_Oh, god," Jane gasped, her heart beating much too fast, as everything caught up to her._

"_I'm so sorry." Tears overflowed and streamed down Jane's cheeks as guilt surged forth from within. She felt like a monster. She'd hurt her best friend, her reason for living. "Maur, I am so __**so**__ sorry." Maura didn't dare move. "Maur, say something. P-Please… Please say something. Even…even if it's to tell me to leave and never talk to you again." Maura just stared back at Jane._

"_Okay…it's settled then," Jane, said finally "I'm telling the FBI I'll do it. You won't have to see me again." Still moving away from Maura. _

_Jane nearly crumpled to the ground as Maura spoke for the first time._

"_No." Maura said softly as she took a step forwards. "Jane, you can't take it." She was crying too._

"_M-Maur," Jane's throat started to close up on her. "I…I'm sorry. But I can't stay. I can't…"_

"_Jane Rizzoli," Maura was angry now. "If you run away now, you're nothing more than a coward." And that's precisely what Jane did. Just like always. She ran._

_*End Flashback*_

_**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**_

"Miss Rizzoli?" Moiraine's voice penetrated into Jane's thoughts. Jane shook her head slightly as she was jolted out of her own reverie, and came back to the present. Jane could see the worry in Moiraine's blue eyes. "Hey, you okay?" Then. "You spaced out for a second there."

"I'm sorry?" Jane replied quietly. "What was the question?"

"I asked if you needed me to call you a cab," Moiraine asked softly.

"Oh," Jane swallowed, "Yeah. That would be very helpful. Thanks."

Moiraine opened up a drawer in the room and pulled out a small bottle. She removed the safety seal from the bottle, and handed it to Jane. Jane quickly recognized them to be eye drops. "I use these when we have an emergency, and I can't go home," she explained as she held it out for Jane. "Put a couple of these in," she instructed, "It'll help ease the redness and irritation in them."

"Thanks," Jane breathed as she took the bottle from her hand.

"I'll be right back." Moiraine said finally. "I'm going to go call you your cab."

Jane nodded, watching as she departed. When the nurse was gone, Jane slowly made her way towards the bathroom down the hallway. Jane's jaw clenched as she noticed just how defeated she looked. Her shoulders were slumping forwards. Jane drew the conclusion that she might just be tired enough, that she could easily fall asleep standing up.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

By the time, Jane got to Maura's house; she was rethinking the decision to surprise Maura by showing up at her house in the middle of the night. After all, all of the windows were dark, and the honey brunette was most likely deep asleep. Jane fumbled for her phone, which the CDC had assured her had been wiped of all traces. She unlocked the phone and with agile fingers.

_You still up?_ She hit send and waited. A couple of minutes passed, and Jane kicked herself. She hadn't thought to tell the cab to wait, and thus the yellow checker cab had long since disappeared. She turned around, had started to call for another cab, when her phone buzzed.

_Been in bed a while. Although, I haven't achieved a deep restorative sleep, yet_. –M

Jane smiled. Leave it to the brilliant woman to be descriptive when answering a simple question.

_You could just answer with a simple yes or no, you know? _Jane teased.

_I take it that since you're bothering me, you aren't asleep either. _

_Well, I could be sleep texting. ;P_

_I know you meant that in jest, but there have been an innumerable number of cases out there to support its plausibility. Remind me to check for updated academic journal articles on the subject. I bet they would be most interesting…_

_Maur, your brain is showing, _Jane quipped_._

_Is it? :P See?! I can use emoticons, too!_

_You're making fun of me!, _Jane typed, _You can't make fun of **me**!_

_Oh, so you can bowl it out, but you can't take it, huh Rizzoli?_

_I believe the word you were looking for is dish, Maura. Dish, not bowl. :P_

_You're incorrigible._

_Could we save the rest of this conversation for later? Because, I have to say that it would be really nice if you could make your way downstairs to unlock the front door._

_But, I'm not dressed. And it's the middle of the night!_

_You have a surprise waiting for you...a special delivery, if you will._

_Just what kind of delivery service are you using?!_

_*sigh* Maura?_

_Okay. Okay. Hold your horses! If you insist on me answering the door, I at least need to slip a robe on first._

Jane slipped her phone into her pocket as porch light suddenly flickered on and Jane was temporarily blinded, then, still blinking the stars from her eyes, Jane finally heard the lock turn over. She quickly shoved her hands into her pockets, suddenly unsure of herself. She was hoping that this would prevent her from fidgeting, but wound up pulling her hands out of her pockets, as she second guessed herself again. She and Maura still hadn't had a chance to talk about where things stood between them. Slowly, ever so slowly, the door cracked open. A hesitant smile spread its way across Jane's face.

"Hey," Jane greeted shyly.

Jane chuckled as Maura blinked several times, as if she didn't quite believe what she was seeing. At the same time, her breath caught in her throat. Maura looked incredibly beautiful, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. She wasn't wearing any make up, and Jane thought her even more beautiful for it. Jane swallowed hard as she noticed the way that the silk fabric of the robe draped loosely over Maura's shoulders. The robe concealed just enough to be considered proper, but still left very little to the imagination.

"Jane?" Maura sounded as if she were in awe, not entirely sure Jane was real.

"Hey, Maur," Jane offered another smile and lifted her shoulders in a cute shrug as she held out her arms. She laughed as Maura surged forwards and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck as her body collided with Jane's. "Sorry to stop by so late."

"Oh my god, Jane!" Maura breathed in Jane's ear. Jane felt a laugh bubble up in her throat as she reciprocated and wrapped her arms around Maura. "What are you doing here?" Anyone looking in on them, would have thought the display silly. After all, they'd seen each other not more than two days ago. But two days seemed an eternity when neither of them were sure what fate had in store for them. "Did you break out or something?"

"Yeah," Jane replied. "I went all she-hulk on them, and then hauled ass out of there." She was surprised when Maura giggled at that. Part of Jane was touched that Maura remembered Jane's drunken rant about how she-hulk was _clearly_ the best female superhero, with her increased libido.

Jane cleared her throat. "Naw. In all seriousness, they let me go. Though, I can understand why you'd think that," Jane teased. "I guess I was just fighting a cold, after all." Jane's voice became strained as Maura's lips grazed her neck. Jane tried to hide the sharp inhalation, and the way her heart was pounding much too loud. "Uh… I know it's super late, but... can I come in?"

"Of course," Maura breathed as she pulled away, grabbed Jane's hand gently in hers, and led her inside. "Can I get you anything?"

"Uh… Just a bed to sleep in," Jane replied. "I'm really tired."

"Right," Maura smiled nervously. "You must be nearly dead on your feet by now." Maura shut the front door, turned off the light, then set both the lock and the deadbolt.

"I would say that that's a pretty accurate statement," Jane laughed. "In fact, if we stand here any longer, I might just fall asleep standing here.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked as she led them towards the master bedroom.

"Good," Jane replied. "Oh, crap! I should probably tell Ma that they cleared me."

"In the morning," Maura asserted. "She only just retired for the night. Besides, I want you all to myself."

"Uh, Maur?" Jane's husky alto filled the hallway. "Isn't the guest bedroom the other way?"

"You're sleeping with me tonight, Rizzoli," Maura said playfully.

"Maura Isles," Jane said pretending to sound scandalized. "You're being awfully forward, aren't you?"

"It's not forward, if all we're doing is _sleeping_," Maura said while arching an eyebrow, "But it's good to know where your mind is at, Jane."

"Can you blame me?" Jane said honestly. "Anyone sleeping in bed with you would be having slightly naughty thoughts."

"Only _slightly_?" Maura teased. "Jane, I'm insulted." Maura deflected. Jane tried to ignore the sudden flush to Maura's neck and shoulders, and the way that the blonde spluttered a little for the next couple of minutes.

"Geez, Maur," Jane shot back shamelessly, "Learn how to take a compliment."

Jane could feel Maura's eyes on her as she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a spare pair of sweatpants and a BPD shirt to change into.

"I'm just going to go change and wash up," Jane said with a nervous clear of her throat. "I'll be right back." She forced her eyes away from Maura's body as the blonde started unfastening her robe, and unwrapping her body from the silk.

When Jane exited the bathroom a couple of minutes later, her skin tingling, her mouth tasting like mint, and her body in fresh clothes, all was quiet. She assumed that Maura had quickly fallen into sleep, and didn't blame her. In fact, she was relieved. She wasn't sure she was ready to have the conversation that was inevitable. She didn't want things to be awkward between them. Their relationship was special. And the last thing Jane wanted was for a case of unrequited feelings to ruin what they had. She soundlessly padded across the floor, slipped back the covers of Maura's king size bed, and slipped onto the mattress. She didn't pull back the covers like she usually did though. She felt really hot, almost as if the air in the room was stifling. Jane took a deep breath, folded her hands behind her head and closed her eyes.

Jane was practicing slow regular breathing patterns when, a shuffling of sheets, and a wandering hand had her jumping. Fingers groped in the darkness, the pads of Maura's fingers brushing the bare, heated skin peaking out between Jane's shirt and sweatpants. Jane gasped, as Maura's fingertips blazed patterns into Jane's hipbone.

_Oh, god. _Jane bit back the moan as she squeezed her eyes shut. When Jane collected herself enough to speak, it was a whisper.

"Maur?"

"Sorry," Maura whispered, "I was looking for your hand." Jane suddenly pulled her hands from behind her head. Fingers danced across the mattress, searching out Maura's soft, elegant hand. Jane smiled as hands finally, after much seeking, found each other, and squeezed. "I just needed to touch you. I guess a part of me is still afraid I'm imagining all of this, and that you'll disappear if there's not something to hold onto."

"I…I could hold you," Jane stuttered nervously. "You…you know…umm…if you wanted." Jane kicked herself. _Way to sound creepy_, she told herself. "Or not… Cause that would be _weird_." Jane kicked herself again. "You know what? Just…just forget I said anything." Jane sighed. "G'night, Maur."

"What if I don't want to forget?" Maura whispered as tears built in her eyes. Her voice was thick with emotion when she said. "Jane?"

"Shh," Jane scooted towards Maura's body on the bed. "Hey, it's okay," Jane pulled Maura's back to her, and wrapped her arms around the honey brunette. "I'm right here, Maur. And I...I'm not going anywhere." Maura wasn't sure she could regulate her breathing as she felt Jane's forehead on the back of her neck.

"Thank you," Maura whispered.

"Any time," Jane replied softly, nuzzling Maura gently. "Sleep well."

* * *

_**A/N: More to come soon! Please review! **_

_**And please! Don't let this chapter lure you into a false sense of security! After all, the story is just beginning!**_


	5. Chapter 5

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Our Last Days**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's another chapter! Sorry for the delay! I've been working on updates for all three of my R&I stories and will be updating the other two as well tomorrow! I hope you like this update!**

* * *

When Maura's breathing evened out, and Jane was sure that the blonde was asleep, Jane loosened her hold on her best friend, and carefully slid backwards to the edge of the mattress. She couldn't do it. Jane let out a staggered breath, as she struggled not to let the emotional pain take over. She wished, more than anything, that she could go back to a time before she was aware of her intense feelings for Maura. She wished that she could go back to when things were innocent between them, and not overthought. She missed feeling secure in their friendship, and she missed knowing that no matter what, that she could be who she was with her best friend and not be judged. Now she was afraid that every touch, and every compliment would be interpreted as a come on and would make Maura uncomfortable.

Jane lifted a forearm to her forehead, and was surprised to find it slick with sweat. It made no sense. Maura didn't seem the least bit warm, but Jane felt as if she could take off all of her clothes and she would still feel as if she were suffocating in the relentless heat. She knew that Maura liked to leave as little of a carbon footprint as possible, but Jane felt like she might die if she didn't turn the thermostat down just a couple of degrees. Her clothes were drenched with sweat, and she couldn't stand it any longer. For a long time, Jane lay on her back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Millions of tiny black and grey pixels made up her field of vision. She could see moonlight peaking through the thin veil of Maura's blinds. And despite her overwhelming fatigue, Jane knew there wasn't a chance in hell she'd be able to sleep. She was too hot, and her mind refused to let go of what she knew was in her heart.

Soundlessly, Jane pushed herself up into a seated position and pivoted so that her legs hung over the edge of the bed. She let her feet hover over the carpet for a long moment, as she held her breath. She was waiting to make sure that Maura hadn't stirred. The last thing she wanted was for Maura to wake, and find her missing.

"Maur?" Jane whispered in a breath, the sound barely loud enough to be heard in the darkness. And then after an countless number of heartbeats, where all Jane heard were Maura's deep even breaths, Jane let her feet drop the rest of the way to the floor.

Once she was standing, she padded on the balls of her feet towards the door. And then she met her first obstacle. For a long moment, she stared at the oak paneled door, sizing it up as an opponent. Part of her feared that when she turned the handle, the knob or one of the hinges would squeak, and Maura would wake. She took several heartbeats, gathering her courage, but then with a steady hand, she made quick work of it. With one hand, pressed against the wall next to the door, and the other on the handle, Jane twisted with her left hand and pushed off with the other. Jane breathed a sigh of relief when the door came open without so much as a single sound. But she still wasn't out of the woods yet. She still had to make her escape. And that involved making it down the hall, and down the stairs without making a peep.

As soon as the door was open wide enough for her shoulders to clear it; Jane exited and padded down the hallway towards the stairwell. She found the thermostat, and her brow furrowed as she realized that it was only 71 degrees.

"Huh," Jane whispered. If anyone had asked her, she would have guessed it was closer to 90. Jane left it alone, and continued downstairs. If she was going to be forced to sleep while feeling as if she were going a premature menopause, she was at least going to get a glass of ice-cold water first.

When Jane reached the kitchen, she purposely neglected to turn on the light. After all, over the last hour, her eyes had perfectly adjusted to the darkness, and she could see everything she needed to without immersing herself in obtrusive light, which would undoubtedly cause her eyes to ache even worse than they did now.

Jane walked to the cupboard, pulled it open, and wrapped her hand around one of Maura's tall, fine, crystal glasses. She pulled it out and walked to the fridge, thrusting the glass under the sensor so that it could begin filling. When the glass was full, Jane retracted it and brought the glass to her lips. She took one tentative sip and moaned. Why had she never realized just how much she took it for granted? Jane hadn't realized just how thirsty she was until the water had slipped past her lips and met her tongue. My, goodness, the liquid tasted heavenly, like sweet nectar. And Jane suddenly felt as if she couldn't get enough of it. Jane opened her mouth wider and took one healthy swig, and then another and another.. Before she even knew it, Jane had drained the glass. She refilled it, then wandered to the bar and sat down with a sigh.

As she sat there in the darkness, she felt a little bit like a ghost, not entirely there. Shivers shook her body as cool air met damp, heated skin. Jane's head throbbed, and Jane grunted. Part of her knew something was wrong. But just as soon as the notion entered her mind, she rejected it. For the next hour or so, Jane took tentative sips of her water, nursing the glass between her scarred palms. Then when she was finished, she put the glass in the dishwater and headed back towards the bedroom.

She paused just outside of Maura's bedroom, not entirely sure if she could go back inside. Feeling Maura in her arms should have been heaven, but instead it seemed more like hell. It was torturous. It was agony. Would she ever be able to get past this? Would Maura? Jane took a steadying breath and pushed open the door, walking to the bed. She slipped back onto the mattress, praying that Maura wouldn't feel the mattress dip under her weight. Fortunately, Maura was still in the same position that she had been in when Jane left her.

This time, when Jane closed her eyes, she fell straight into sleep.

Somehow, during the remainder of the night, Maura gravitated closer to Jane. At some point, Jane was briefly pulled from sleep when she vaguely felt Maura's head drop onto her shoulder. And Jane gritted her jaw as her heart suddenly started pounding much too hard. Surely, Maura would notice. For a heart stopping moment, Maura stirred, draping an arm across Jane's middle, groggily snuggling into the solid warmth that was Jane's body. Jane closed her eyes against it, scarcely daring to breath. Jane kissed the top of Maura's head, running her fingers softly over the knuckles of one of the hands she captured in-between her own. There were so many things that she felt for this woman. Love was only one of them. And yet? Jane knew that she would never be able to act on her feelings again. So instead, Jane was forced to survive with only stolen moments like this.

R&I

When Maura stirred in the early morning hours, and her hands touched burning flesh, she frowned.

"Jane?" Maura's voice whispered, still thick from sleep. "Jane, honey," Maura tried again. She felt Jane's forehead and gasped. Jane was burning up.

Maura shifted as she heard a commotion from the kitchen. Rays of sunlight illuminated the room in warm oranges and reds as her eyes flickered open for the first time. Carefully, she lifted her head up from Jane's shoulder and inched away from the brunette. She pushed herself up from the mattress and padded down to the kitchen to start the coffee, and bid Angela a good morning. After all, it was a good morning. She'd woken up with Jane next to her.

Just the thought that she could wake up to Jane every morning was enough to result in a smile slipping onto her features.

"Good Morning, Angela," Maura bided the older woman as she walked into the kitchen. Angela turned around, and Maura immediately felt guilty. Angela looked like she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep the night before.

"Oh," Angela replied in a scratchy voice much like Jane's. "Good morning, Maura."

"I'm sorry," Maura said softly. "I'm being insensitive. How are you? Did you sleep?"

"Wish I could say that I did," Angela replied. "But I'm just so worried about Jane, and I couldn't."

"I have news," Maura announced as she started up the coffee maker.

"Oh?" Angela's face immediately lit up. "Have you heard from Janie?"

"She's upstairs, actually," Maura revealed, carefully.

"She's here?!" Angela looked like she hadn't expected that in a million years.

"Yeah," Maura nodded. And although she fought the smile, it eventually won. "She arrived here late last night. Around…oh…2:00?"

"You weren't kidding," Angela replied. "That is late. Is…Is she okay?"

"She's still sleeping," Maura said softly. "But they cleared her. She's… she's going to be okay." Maura squeaked in surprise as Angela wrapped her arms around Maura, and spun her around, while laughing excitedly.

"That's wonderful news, Maura!" Angela was elated. "Oh, I have to call Frankie and Tommy! And we have to celebrate!" Maura opened her mouth to reply, but Angela didn't give her the chance. "It's settled then. I'm making brunch!" Maura laughed, watching as Angela quickly started pulling things out of the refridgerator.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Maura announced. "Should I wake Jane?" Maura asked Angela.

"Oh, no," Angela replied. "Let Jane sleep! She must be tired if she didn't get in until as late as you said she did." Maura nodded.

Jane's eyes flickered open as a shiver shot up her spine. For a long moment, she just stared at the ceiling. She could hear the creak of pipes as water moved through them and came to an immediate conclusion. Maura must be taking a shower. Jane's mouth was dry, her tongue felt rough against the roof of her mouth, and her throat felt like sandpaper each time she swallowed. Silently, Jane pushed herself up into a seated position, taking a look around. Maura had made her half of the bed, and had set out a glass of water for Jane and some Tylenol on the bedside table. Jane smiled as her eyes fell on the sticky note next to it.

_Morning, Jane! _

_I hope you slept well!_

_I'm in the shower, but I just thought I'd give you a heads up and tell you that I talked to your mom. She knows that you're okay, and, as you can imagine, she is extremely relieved. I know that you'd probably like to rest today, but she's cooking brunch, and I think that she's invited Frankie and Tommy over to celebrate the fact that you're going to be fine! (You know how she is. ;) _

_Please make sure you take some Tylenol and drink some water as soon as you get up. You felt really warm to me this morning, and I tried to wake you up to make you take some myself, but you wouldn't cooperate. (You know how you are in the mornings…) _

_-M_

Jane picked up the bottle, hearing the capsules shift inside. Using her thumbnail, she popped off the cap and tipped the bottle into her hand, shaking out two capsules. She tossed them into her mouth, and swallowed them with a sip of water. She made a mental note to thank Maura later.

With a grunt, Jane got up off of the bed. She took a few steps through the dim light, as she heard a commotion in the kitchen. Jane let out a groan, as she realized her mom must be getting things ready. She could only hope that her mother didn't go too much overboard.

Jane was thrown off, as the world she saw through her eyes was suddenly upended, and her balance was thrown for a loop. Jane squeezed her eyes shut as she threw out her arm, to try and keep from falling. She winced as her hand collided with the bedside table. Several items, including a picture frame and the bottle of Tylenol clattered to the floor. Jane's knees hit the floor, and another surge of vertigo made her sick.

"Well, shit," Jane groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment, and felt the air around her lurch again. She crumpled the rest of the way to the floor. And the world stopped for several moments as blackness took over.

Maura jumped as she heard the sound of things crashing in the other room. And suddenly the world seemed to stop spinning as she thought of Jane. Quickly, she dropped the towel she had been using to dry hair and rushed for the bedroom. What she saw had her heart stopping. Jane groaned as she clumsily tried to push herself up from the floor.

"Jane," Maura spoke, unable to keep the worry out of her voice. "Oh my god! Are you okay?"

"I…Uh…" Jane gritted out, "I...I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." Maura quickly put her hand on Jane's shoulder, suspending the brunette's efforts to get up from the floor.

"Easy," Maura said softly. "Just take a minute to get your bearings." Her eyes were sympathetic as she held Jane's embarrassed gaze. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Sure," Jane joked. "I just thought I'd hang out on the floor for a little bit," Jane deflected with a smile.

"Not funny." Maura said seriously.

"Jane, you're scaring me," Maura said as she knelt down. She tried to meet Jane's gaze again, but the prideful woman would have nothing of it.

"I'm fine, Maura," Jane said as she set about trying to pick up the items from the floor. Jane felt her heart squeeze painfully in her chest as she turned over the frame in her hand to see a smiling picture of the two of them. She gently ran her fingers over the glass, which fortunately had escaped without fracturing, and set it back on the nightstand.

"Come on," Maura said as she gently grasped Jane under the arms and helped the taller woman to her feet.

"Jane?" Maura whispered as she helped Jane across the room and eased Jane into bed. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Jane asserted rather breathlessly, as she laid back on the pillows. Maura wouldn't hear Jane's protests, however. Ever the doctor, Maura's hand darted to Jane's forehead to check her temperature. Maura frowned as she found Jane to feel clammy to the touch. "You feel a little clammy."

"Maur," Jane groaned. "Just relax. Stop being such a doctor."

"Stop being such a baby," Maura shot back, and subsequently laughed as she caught sight of the way Jane was sticking her tongue out at her. Soon enough, however, the laughter faded and worry took over again.

Maura bit down and worried her lip as she was deep in thought. Finally, she made a decision. "I'll be right back." Jane's protests went unheard. A couple of minutes later Maura walked back in to find Jane hunched over, still lying in an inclined position. Maura quickly perched herself on the edge of her bed, and leant towards Jane. After a little bit of hesitation, the suddenly shy doctor reached out and gently brushed Jane's hair behind her ear. Jane's eyes fluttered open to meet Maura's beautiful hazel eyes. The gorgeous, always put together doctor, lifted a cool washcloth to wipe gently at Jane's face. Jane remained completely still as she stared back at her. The cool washcloth felt heavenly, and Jane closed her eyes as she relished the soothing touch. A moan slipped out and Maura couldn't breathe for a long minute as she contemplated closing the distance between them. Jane was having similar thoughts, but neither one of them could do anything about it. Jane's eyes opened and she stared into Maura's eyes longingly.

"Maur?" Jane said softly.

"Hmm?" Maura replied with a soft hum.

"What if I'm not out of the woods?" Jane voiced her worst fears. "What if something is wrong? What if…"

"Slow down, Jane," Maura chastised. "You know I don't like hypotheticals. First of all, they cleared you. Second of all, the blood work pointed to the fact that you were fighting off some sort of virus. That's probably just what this is."

"God," Jane muttered, as she finally looked away, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. "I must look awful right now."

"That's not possible," Maura replied truthfully. Sad that Jane would even think such a thing. "Jane," Maura breathed. "Hey, sweetie, look at me!" Jane wouldn't listen and kept avoiding Maura's eyes. Finally, Maura gave up on her and gently forced Jane to look at her. "Hey," she breathed. "You're beautiful, Jane. And I you need to believe me when I say that you're _always_ beautiful."

"It's okay, you know? You don't have to lie to me, Maur," Jane whispered, tears building in her eyes. "I know I look awful. I mean… I haven't been able to take a shower in forever and I have bed hair, and I…" Maura silenced Jane with a finger to her lips.

"You seem to be forgetting something, Jane," Maura informed her. "I can't lie," Maura spoke quietly, reaching out. She gently cupped Jane's face in her hands. Her thumbs swept gently over Jane's ears. "And if I'm being honest? You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out. I... mean that figuratively, of course. Since I don't really know how pretty your insides are…" Somewhere in the middle of that statement, Jane started to laugh. Leave it to Maura to be so literal. She stared into Maura's eyes, trying to decide if it was real. Was this really happening? Did Maura just say what Jane heard her say? Maura, who was still waiting for some sort of response, let out a shaky breath. She wanted to kiss Jane so badly, and yet she was so afraid. Jane's heart started to pound as she realized that it was now or never.

"Maura," Jane husked, her voice low and heavy with want.

Maura's eyes, which had fluttered closed at some point, flickered back open. Maura stared into Jane's warm, expressive eyes, with a guilty look on her features.

Jane watched something that she couldn't pinpoint flash across Maura's features. She expected Maura to say something, but the M.E. remained eerily silent. Jane was about to say something when a knock sounded at the door, and her mother pushed her way in.

"Maura is everything okay? I heard a…" Her mother trailed off as she quickly noted the posture of both women, and quickly realized that she had just interrupted something. "Oh, I'm sorry," she murmured softly. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just heard a crash from downstairs and wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"Everything is fine, ma," Jane replied with a soft smile, though internally she was screaming. What the hell was going on? Why did they keep getting interrupted like this? At this rate, they'd never resolve things between them. In fact, Jane was starting to think that the universe had something against the two of them being together. And for once, Jane was sure that Maura had feelings for her too. The way the blonde had been looking at her a moment ago, had made that abundantly clear.

"Oh…Okay," Angela cleared her throat, looking to Maura for confirmation.

"We're okay, Angela," Maura said softly, with a smile directed at the matronly woman. "Thank you for checking." Angela nodded, and carefully backed out of the room, gently shutting the door behind her with a click.

"Is it just me, or is the world conspiring together as a massive crotchblock?"

Maura's brow furrowed, as she struggled to work out Jane's meaning.

"You don't know what it means to be a crotchblock, do you?" Jane laughed.

"Not exactly," Maura laughed too.

"Jane," Maura sighed as the laughter died down. "Can we talk?"

Jane just shrugged. "What do you want to know?"

"Well," Maura said gently, as she took Jane's hand in hers and started running her fingers over the lines in Jane's palm. "Now that you've been cleared, are you still going undercover for the FBI?"

"Oh," Jane swallowed. "That." Jane took a deep breath. "Well, I.. told…Dean that I… I couldn't do it," Jane said honestly. "They wanted me for anywhere from a few months to a year, and beyond. There was too much uncertainty involved. Not to mention, it was dangerous."

"What did they want you to do?" Maura asked. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"They wanted me to infiltrate a group involved in human trafficking." Maura just listened, silently grateful; Jane wouldn't be in harm's way. "I…I feel guilty, Maura, for not helping, when I felt that I would be able to. But…"

"You have a family here, a best friend," Maura supplied. "Jane, you listened to me," Maura whispered.

"Of course I listened," Jane nodded. "And as much as I wanted to help, I…I couldn't leave you, Maur." Maura's vision blurred slightly as her heart swelled and tears built in her eyes.

"I was so afraid that I was going to lose you," Maura confessed. "When you were pulling away, I didn't know what to do…"

"That's my fault," Jane said earnestly. "Maur, I'm so sorry."

"It's…It's okay, Jane," Maura smiled sadly.

"No," Jane shook her head. "It's not." Then. "None of what I did to you was okay, Maur." Jane gave Maura's hand a squeeze. "I never should have done that to you," Jane whispered. "You deserve better from your best friend. You were right," Jane laughed self deprecatingly, "I'm a coward." Jane choked out in a small confession. "I start to close myself off when I feel threatened." Jane paused for a ragged breath. "But I think that you, out of everyone else, understand where that comes from." Jane swallowed.

"I do," Maura confirmed.

"I have trouble trusting others with my heart." Jane let out another pained breath. "And I'm so scared; because I don't want to lose the only person in my life that I trust completely. The one person who has done nothing but earn my trust from the moment that we first met." Jane held Maura's hazel eyes with her own. "I ran from you…pushed you away…because that's the only thing that I know how to do. I…I never meant to hurt you, Maura. I…I really hope you know that."

"I know, Jane," Maura breathed. "I know."

"I'm so sorry," Jane's voice cracked as emotion took over. Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and guided Jane to her shoulder.

"I've already forgiven you, Jane," Maura said honestly. "It's going to be okay."

"We're okay?" Jane asked meekly.

"Yeah," Maura smiled reassuringly as Jane pulled away. "We're okay."

"Life long best friends forever?" Jane joked.

"You bet," Maura replied with a laugh.

"God, I've missed you," Jane admitted.

"Me too," Maura replied.

"And I want you to know that you don't have to worry about me acting any differently than before," Jane said finally. "I mean...I know that the cat is sort of out of the bag, but...nothing has to change. I...I'm not going to act on my feelings" Then. "The last thing I want to do is mess up what we have. So...just... tell me if anything I do makes you uncomfortable and I'll fix it."

"Jane," Maura's voice was sad as she registered. Jane's flustered rambling words. "About what happened that night... I'd be lying if I said that part of me didn't enjoy it. But..." Jane held up her hand.

"It's okay, Maur," Jane rasped. "You don't have to say anything. In fact... Please! Please spare me from what comes next." Jane closed her eyes and sighed. "Like I said before. I...I'd rather just forget that it all happened." Maura's heart constricted painfully. "Can't we? Can't we just forget what happened the last few weeks?"

"Under one condition," Maura replied as an idea struck her. This was her chance to negotiate. And it might give her the chance to convince Jane that she felt the same way. Should she ever feel that way.

"Name it," Jane said as she met Maura's eyes.

"I reserve the right to kiss you once, at the time of my choosing," Maura began. Jane opened her mouth to reply, but Maura wouldn't let her. "Wait. I'm not finished." Jane nodded, indicating for Maura to finish her piece. "And when the kiss happens you need to let me take the lead. And before you say no, I would argue that it's only fair. After all, you got to kiss me once, and... I was so shocked by the whole thing that I didn't get the chance to enjoy it." Jane shook her head.

"Are you trying to torture me?" Jane asked with a soft tinge of disbelief.

"On the contrary, I just..." Want to feel what it's like. And I want to be able to remember what it was like to kiss you. "Jane, please," Maura pleaded.

"Fine," Jane relented. "Whatever you want. Just... Let's put this behind us." Jane took a deep breath. "And Maura?"

"Yes, Jane?"

"Just try not to enjoy my suffering too much, will ya?" Jane asked.

"I wouldn't dream of it, love," Maura replied with a smile.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Jane said softly. "Then we can talk some more, if you'd like."

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Yeah," Jane nodded confidently. "I…I'm feeling much better." _Okay, so not that's not really true. But I can't stand feeling so gross._

"Okay," Maura nodded. "But drink some of this water before you go." Jane took the glass and started drinking.

Somewhere in the middle of the glass, she choked on the liquid in her throat and hunched over, her shoulders wracking with violent coughs. Jane's arm curled over her chest as it physically, unmistakably hurt. She tried to take another breath, only to get pulled into another coughing fit. Oh, god, the pain.

"Jane?" Maura jumped up.

"It's…okay…I'm fine… It just… went down… the wrong way," Maura, still frantically trying to ease Jane's breathing gently rubbed her hand in circles against the brunette's back. Finally, Jane was able to take a breath without coughing. Maura slowly backed away, wondering if this was the beginning. "Seriously, Maur," Jane said finally as she felt Maura's eyes boring into her. "I'm fine. It was just a false alarm." Jane stood up and started walking for the bathroom.

"I'll stay close," Maura said as she helped Jane to her feet. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

"Will do," Jane promised.

Maura stared after Jane wondering if she was wrong to tell Jane there was nothing to worry about. She knew that she always told Jane never to trust her intestines, but Maura had a really bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

_**A/N: Still haven't decided if I should continue with a friendship fic, or if things should progress in their relationship. What do you think? I will update soon! Thanks for reading! Please Review!**_


	6. Break Your Plans

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Break Your Plans**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next update!**

**Thank you so much for all of your input! To those of you that are worried I'm going to let the readers dictate the outcome of this story, I just want to reassure you that 90% of this story is already written. I won't be changing things just to make the readers happy, though I always hope that they aren't disappointed.**

**In fact, things really get going in this chapter! **

**I'm not going to talk it up any, but rather, I'm just going to let you get to it!**

* * *

"What have you got for me, partner?" Jane asked through her phone's speakerphone as she started pulling her shirt over her head. And then a moment later kicked off her pants.

"Well," Korsak cleared his throat. "Homeland security has been making it _very_ difficult to carry on our investigation. "But our vic was a Keith Rumsfeld. And surprise surprise," Korsak whistled, "The guy had a record! He did some time for possession with intent to distribute and assault, some other small time charges." Jane heard some commotion on the other end of the phone. "Maura was able to identify him through a steel plate in his right tibia."

"What's his connection to the homeowner?" Jane heard a rustle, some raised voices and a gruff voice took over the conversation.

"Who is this?"

"Umm…Jane? Detective Jane Rizzoli," Jane cleared her throat. "Who is this?"

"Agent Donovan Rodgers," the man replied. "I believe we met at the crime scene?"

"Uh…" Jane muttered as she stalled for time, raking though her brain for the memory. "Oh! Yes," Jane replied. "We did. Now, if you don't mind, I believe I was having a conversation with Sgt. Korsak about our murder victim."

She heard him clear his throat uncomfortably. "I'm sorry to interrupt," he said tentatively, "But I had to know to whom it was that they were relaying this information." Jane wasn't sure just how to respond to that statement, and so she didn't say anything. She was rewarded a moment later, however, when he shared an important piece of information with her. "I just thought that you'd want to know that the CDC was able to trace several of the pathogens back to a breach at Fort Detrick that took place a month ago. They made our job easy, and didn't try to cover up the alpha numeric inventory codes."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jane asked, "When I have a feeling that you've been withholding it from my team as a, quote, matter of national security, unquote."

"What can I say?" Agent Rodgers laughed. "I guess I took a liking to you, and thought you deserved to know. Especially since your life is on the line."

"I…" Jane was at a loss for words. This guy was trying to help, and she was being difficult. "Thank you…" Jane breathed. "Agent Rodgers. Is there anything else you need me to do at the moment?"

"You're welcome," he replied. "And no. You've done so much for us already."

"And…uh…it's not that you haven't already been extremely helpful already," Jane joked, "But you wouldn't happen to know what our murder vic was doing with a cache of deadly pathogens, would you?"

"Can't say I do," Agent Rodgers replied honestly.

"Korsak?" Jane questioned. "What about you and Frost? You come up with anything?"

"Well," Korsak cut in. "We haven't gotten that far yet. Right now we're focusing on trying to track down the homeowner, but the name on the deed was clearly a fake one."

"Well," Jane replied in a strained voice, as a tickle in her throat made itself known. Jane tried to power through by taking a deep breath, but unfortunately, it only made things worse. Jane's breath wheezed in her lungs, and she coughed as she suddenly fought to get more air. Searing pains seized her chest over and over and over, as loud barks filled the bathroom.

"You okay there, Janie?" Korsak asked worriedly.

"Y-Yeah," Jane managed to choke out between waning coughs. "Yeah, I'm fine. I…I was just going to say to keep me posted."

"We'll let you know as soon as we know something, partner," Frost assured her. "Homeland Security and the FBI are pulling people in from the medical research department at Fort Detrick for interviews. Specifically, they plan on talking to several people who were terminated before the breach last month, one with listed mental health issues. I've managed to talk Agent Rodgers into letting us sit in. In the meantime, we're running the names they've provided us against the name on the mortgage loan that the homeowner took out for the house."

"Okay," Jane replied. "Sounds good. You guys keep working. I'll be in as soon as I can. I'll catch you guys later."

"Alright, Jane," Frost replied. "We'll see you later, partner. Take care!"

"Jane?" Maura knocked. Jane quickly hung up.

"What is it, Maur?" Jane asked with a bit of a groan.

"What's going on?" Maura asked. "I thought you were taking a shower. Who are you talking to in there?" Maura asked as she pushed the door open. Jane hastily grabbed a towel and lifted it to her chest, trying to cover the fact that she was naked from the waist up.

"Maur!" Jane whined as she flushed a deep shade of red. "You do realize it's not polite to barge in here, don't you? I mean…I don't exactly have a shirt on!"

"Oh, don't be silly, Jane," Maura said with a wave of her hands. "It's not like I haven't seen naked bodies before. Hell, it's not even the first time I've seen you naked before." Maura cleared her throat, realizing for the first time how uncomfortable Jane looked. Maura forgot how self-conscious Jane was about her body. "Now, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I…I was talking to Frost," Jane replied. "I just wanted to see if they had any leads. Why didn't you tell me you were able to identify our victim through a titanium plate?"

"I didn't want you to stress yourself out working," Maura replied. "You've had a hell of a few days, Jane. Why can't you just relax for a while?"

"Because it's important that we get justice for the victim, no matter what!" Jane said passionately. Jane let out a sigh, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Her head was throbbing relentlessly. "I…I'm sorry," Jane groaned. "It's just that this case is hitting me hard." Jane shook her head. "None of it makes sense. I mean…what is a druggie's connection to a cache of deadly pathogens? And what sort of sick twisted person manipulates one of the deadliest pathogens on this earth to make it even more dangerous and deadly."

"I understand your frustration, Jane," Maura said sympathetically.

"It's evil," Jane said angrily.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," Maura hedged, "But in all fairness, virus manipulation isn't always used for evil. It's also used for good, too. Did you know that in some cases, they've been able to cure cervical cancer caused by HPV, through injecting the patients with T-cells extracted from the virus. Thus, mobilizing the patient's immune system against cancer cells. It's brilliant really! Using the body's own defenses against the cancer."

"Wow. I…I didn't even realize that was possible," Jane replied in amazement, but quickly changed her tone as she said. "But…this guy isn't using it to cure cancer, Maur. This guys is trying to make people sick."

"I know," Maura replied thickly, her emotions nearly getting the best of you. "God, Jane. Believe me. I know." Maura took a deep breath and met Jane's eyes. "Jane," Maura said softly. "I just want you to know that we'll figure everything out. We're going to get this guy, and everything is going to be fine."

"I…Is there anything that we can do in the mean time?" Jane asked. "I mean…what if people start to get sick with this virus? What are we gonna do?"

"I'd need more time with the virus to see if there are any weaknesses in the virus' RNA coding," Maura answered. "It's…it's all very technical, Jane."

"Yeah, yeah," Jane murmured. "I get it." Jane looked to be in pain as she suddenly hunched over.

"Jane?"

Jane hastily straightened up, and set about trying to hide the discomfort, but Maura noted how Jane's hand pressed against her middle.

"I…I'm gonna take my shower now," Jane grunted. "So would you mind?" Maura's eyes darted up to Jane's face, searching for signs of illness. She found several. The way Jane was clenching her jaw, betrayed the amount of pain the brunette was in, as did the sweat collecting on Jane's brow. She also noted the way in which Jane was looking back at her, through cloudy eyes.

"Maur?!" Jane asked again, "Would you mind?" Jane challenged.

"Uh…yeah," Maura backed down slightly. "I'll be right outside if you need anything."

Jane cut the water, as soon as the conditioner was rinsed from her hair. She reached out to the shower wall to steady her body. Her legs were trembling, her hands were shaking, and she felt like she was about to fall down. She wasn't sure if it was some sort of low blood sugar attack, but she was nauseous…dizzy. Jane threw another hand out, as her knees buckled. Fortunately, she caught herself. Then, all blood drained from her face, as a streak of red, smeared itself along the shower wall.

"What the hell?" Jane breathed in confusion as she looked down, her eyes raking over her body as she tried to find the source of the blood. But from what she could see, there weren't any cuts on her body. Jane gasped as another surge of pain rippled across her stomach and abdomen. She groaned, and nearly fell down. What the hell was wrong with her? Jane ran her hands over her body, trying to find the source of the blood. Had she cut herself with the razor? Then as she realized the blood was following the same track of her hands, she did a double take, and nearly fainted.

The blood was coming from under her hands… It was seeping from under her fingernails.

Jane wrenched open the door to the shower, and stumbled onto the bath mat. She grabbed a towel, wrapped it around her body and rushed over to the sink.

She had to do something about the bleeding under her fingernails. She had to clean up everything as best as she could. But she couldn't do that when everything she touched became tainted with her blood.

Jane let out a groan as every nerve ending in her hands came to life. It felt like they were on fire. Jane squeezed her hands into fists, fighting the pain. It took a minute before the pain was lifted. Then, horror set in as Jane realized she could no longer feel anything she touched.

"Jane?" Maura went unheard. "Jane? Are you okay in there?"

Jane's hands were shaking violently as she wrenched open one drawer then another and another. She was rifling through them, carelessly digging around for a rectangular box. Maura was a doctor always bent on first aid. Surely, she had some bandages. She retracted her hands, and wanted to scream as drops of blood fell from her fingertips into the sink. It wasn't stopping. Drop after drop, falling from under her fingertips.

"Jane?" Jane's neck snapped in the direction of the door, as a muffled noise finally got through Jane's consciousness.

"Jane? Are you okay?" Maura asked. "Do you need help?"

"I…I-I'm f-fine," Jane couldn't stop the tremors in her voice. And to be honest, she wasn't sure she had enough strength left to try.

On the other side of the door, Maura wasn't buying it. Jane's voice sounded wrong, almost foreign to her ears. Everything in her body told her that something was wrong.

"No…no," Jane started to cry, as the room swayed and colors blurred. She could not pass out now. Jane mumbled to herself. She continued to rifle around, nearly giving up. But then she saw it. She let out a sigh of relief and pulled out the box. She wedged her finger between the cardboard, and pulled back the lid. Then, she inverted the box onto the counter. Her hands were shaking so badly, she knew that she would never be able to pull out the bandages. She was having a hell of a time isolating a bandage to start with, but finally managed. She tore open the wrapping, and started trying to peel the backing off to expose the adhesive. She couldn't feel anything, so it was tenuous, but she managed. When the last Band-Aid was secured around her finger, she grabbed for her clothes.

"Jane?" Maura had called her friend's name several times over the course of the last couple minutes without any reply. She knocked, and had done everything she could think of to get Jane's attention. "Jane? You're really freaking me out! Can I…. Can I come in?" Still nothing. Finally, she threw caution to the wind. If something were wrong, she wouldn't be caught standing on the other side of the door. She was a doctor. She should be helping.

"Jane?" Maura tried one final time. "Jane? Oh, screw it! I…I'm coming in!" Jane gasped as she heard the door handle turn, and then the hinges squeak as door crept open.

"NO! DON'T!" Jane shouted, as she whirled around to face the intruder. Jane lost her balance, her inner ear was wrecking havoc on her balance, and Jane only just caught herself before she plummeted to the floor. "I'm not dressed!" Jane flipped on the sink, trying to wash the blood that had dripped inside, down the drain.

Maura froze. "I'm sorry. You… You didn't answer, and I thought something might be wrong." Jane clutched her towel to her body. She placed herself in front of the mess on the counter.

"Everything is fine, Maur," Jane breathed whilst finding her courage. "I'm almost ready. I… I just have to get dressed." She hated lying to Maura, but she couldn't tell her best friend what she now knew. She was sick, possibly dying.

"Okay," Maura responded. "I was going to head downstairs and help your mom finish getting ready. Are you sure that everything is all right?" Maura asked, giving Jane one last chance to fess up.

"Yeah," Jane replied confidently. "Of course." Then. "I'll be down soon."

"O-Okay," Maura hesitated. "If you're sure."

"Yep!" Jane forced a smile. "I'm sure."

"Okay."

"Okay," Jane teased her.

"Sorry I barged in again," Maura whispered. "I won't make a habit of it."

"You know," Jane joked with a wink at Maura. "If you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask."

"I'll keep that in mind, Jane," Maura smiled as she backed out of the room and shut the door. Jane let out a sigh of relief, struggling not to fall to the floor.

Jane whirled around, hitting the speed dial on her phone.

"Frost," Jane had never been so happy to hear Frost's voice in her life.

"Tell me something good, Frost," Jane pleaded. "You find out anything."

"Well," Frost cleared his throat. "We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but the suspect we have in holding right now, looks good for it. His name is Casey Mancuso. He's 32, and worked at Fort Detrick as a Research Assistant for 3 years before he was unceremoniously let go. In the paperwork, they claimed that he was terminated because of mental health issues. But in our preliminary interview, he didn't come across as having any mental health issues whatsoever. And our interview with him was interesting enough to say the least. He claims that the Filliform vaccine that the government forced him to get made him sick. And when he tried to notify the company and the doctor in charge of the vaccine of this, they refused to admit any wrongdoing and fired him."

"You're right," Jane breathed. "That is interesting." Jane sank to the floor, breathing hard, as the room spun again. "Has he admitted to taking the pathogens from the lab?"

"No, he was far too afraid to admit to partaking in the theft, but I could read the guilt in his expression. Jane, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think that we're looking for two people, here, even if we do have one of them. Because there's no way that he pulled off a theft of that magnitude without a partner."

"And you don't think he'll give up his partner?" Jane inquired.

"No chance in hell," Frost replied, feeling pessimistic about the notion. "At least not to the feds."

"Well," Jane swallowed. "Perhaps, he'll give it up to me."

"Jane," Frost said in a gentle reprimand. "You shouldn't be working on this. You need to rest."

"Frost," Jane said sternly. "If I come to you, can you get me some time alone with him."

"Jane…"

"Frost! I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important!" Jane yelled. "So can you do it or not?"

"I…Okay…Yeah…"

"Okay," Jane breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll be right there. Move him somewhere I can talk to him in private, will you?" Jane pushed herself off of the ground, and hung up before Frost could argue with her any more.

Jane clumsily pulled on her clothes, stumbling several times as she pulled on her jeans. She had to talk to the witness and get some answers. There had to be some sort of a cure…_something_ that the man knows that could help her.

Jane quickly grabbed her toothbrush, and squirted a bit of toothpaste onto the bristles before thrusting it under the water to wet it. She lifted the toothbrush to her mouth and vigorously started brushing her teeth. For a minute the only thing she tasted was the mint of the toothpaste, but then another unpleasant, nauseating taste combated the mint. Jane spat into the sink immediately, and gagged as she saw red. Jane grabbed a Dixie cup and filled it with water. She poured the water into her mouth and swished for a moment before spitting. Again, when she spit into the sink, she saw blood. Too much blood.

Jane backed away from the sink, her whole body trembling, as the realization set in.

She grabbed her phone, slipped it into her back pocket, and grabbed her wallet, badge and gun. She had to get out of the house without alerting Maura or her mother. And she had to do it fast. Because Frankie and Tommy would be arriving soon if they weren't already there.

Jane quickly, padded through the room, struggling to remain upright. She grabbed the railing, slowly descending the stairs, as her field of vision teetered back and forth in front of her.

With a pang of guilt and regret, Jane swiped Maura's keys from the counter, while Maura and her mother's backs were turned. She froze for a moment, just staring at Maura. This could be the last time she saw her. And god, was Maura beautiful. It honestly took Jane's breath away sometimes. In fact, Jane often forgot how to breathe in Maura's presence. There were times when she and Maura curled up together on the couch that Jane just stared and took in every freckle on Maura's face, neck and shoulders.

It hurt. It physically hurt to have to leave Maura like this.

Jane forced herself to move. To scamper away from where her mother and best friend were chatting in the kitchen. She could hear the dulcet tones of Maura's voice as the honey blonde responded to something.

Speaking of scampering… Jane forced herself to bend down as Jo, pranced into view, whimpering for Jane to give her some much needed attention. With sadness in her heart, Jane crouched down and scratched Jo behind the ears.

"You've been the best dog in the world, girl," Jane whispered. "Take care of Ma and Maura for me, alright?" Jo tilted her head in confusion, and Jane sighed. "I mean it," Jane breathed. "So give them lots of kisses for me," Jane straightened up.

Jane froze with her hand on the doorknob, as Maura's laughter carried over from the other room. Jane grabbed at her chest, grappling with the sudden pain. And Jane couldn't determine whether the pain was physical or emotional. Jane closed her eyes, took in the laughter and eased the door open. She waited for another bark of laughter, before rushing out the door, and shutting it with a click. She moved quickly to Maura's Prius, which mercifully wasn't in the garage, and climbed inside. She wasted no time before backing out of the driveway.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Frankie only missed his sister by a couple of minutes.

"Hello?" Frankie greeted tentatively as he slipped his shoes off just inside of the front door.

"In the kitchen!" he heard his mother shout from the other room. He hung up his suit coat and headed towards the kitchen. Maura was rinsing fruit in the sink, when he walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, Maura," Frankie greeted.

"Uh…hey, Frankie," Maura greeted, offering a smile. And even though she tried to hide it, it was obvious that she was uncomfortable with the contact. And although he was mildly hurt and confused, Frankie backed away, and offered a fake smile of his own. "Umm… Is there anything I can do?" he asked helpfully.

"You can set the table," Angela replied.

"Oh!" Maura seemed to pull herself out of the daze she had been in for the last minute. "After you're finished setting the table, Can you go tell Jane the food is ready? It'll only be another five minutes."

"Sure," Frankie nodded.

* * *

Meanwhile, halfway across town, Jane was forced to pull over. She threw open her door and staggered away from her car and into some grass near the park. She hunched over, her hands pressing into her stomach as she urged her body forwards.

The taste of blood in her mouth made her nauseous. The dizziness, made her nauseous. And she couldn't fight it anymore. Her knees buckled on the sidewalk, and she forced herself to crawl the rest of the way. Jane gagged several times, before her body took over.

And Jane would have given anything for it to be vomit that she saw when she retched for the first time, and liquid pushed its way past her throat. But instead, it was something worse. So. Much. Worse. Blood. Jane screwed her eyes shut, groaned, and rode out the waves as best she could.

The moment that Jane was done getting sick, she backed away. She pushed herself to her feet, and rushed over to her car on unsteady legs. She prayed that nobody was nearby watching, as she wiped her mouth, and climbed back inside the Prius.

As soon as the door was shut, Jane reached over to the passenger seat and scooped up her phone.

With clumsy movements, Jane struggled to unlock her phone. She let out a cry of frustration when she couldn't get it to unlock. She ripped off the Band Aid on her forefinger and finally got somewhere. Then, she set about calling a number she only plugged into it as an afterthought. What was happening to her?

She was relieved when the number rang only a couple of times, before the person on the other end answered.

"Dr. Nate Berman," the man's familiar voice comforted Jane somewhat.

"D-Dr. B-Berman," Jane squeezed her eyes shut, as she juggled the phone in her hand. Her hands were slippery, and so it was easier said than done. "I-It's Ja-ne Rizz-" Jane groaned again, her body hunching over as another surge of pain and subsequent vertigo hit.

"Jane?" Dr. Berman sounded worried. "Detective Rizzoli? Is everything alright?"

"T-There's b-blood," Jane rasped. "Under my fingernails, in my mouth. I…I'm so di-dizzy. I-I d-don't know what's hap-happening to me, b-but something is wrong."

"I'll send an ambulance," Dr. Berman replied calmly. "It's going to be okay, Jane. Just stay put. Okay? We'll come to you."

"No," Jane replied. "There's…There's something I have to do first."

"Jane?" Dr. Berman replied. "It's important you listen to me, okay? Just stay put. Try to stay calm, and everything is going to be fine…" Jane cursed. The man wasn't listening to her. Jane squeezed her eyes shut and ended the call, tossing the phone into her front seat.

_Oh, god, I'm dying_. Jane thought. _He knows it. He knows it, but wouldn't say it._

Jane opened her eyes, shifted into drive and sped off towards the precinct.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

"Jane?" Frankie called out as he pushed open the door to guest bedroom and bathroom five minutes later. He'd just finished setting the dinner table.

Through muffled sounds, he could hear Tommy arrive downstairs. With excited greetings being exchanged by all parties.

Frankie's brow furrowed, as he realized that both rooms were both dark and empty. Next, he headed towards the Master bedroom and bathroom, calling out her name, yet again. "Janie, you in here?" Again, he came up empty. He was walking towards the door, when he saw a note on Maura's bedside table.

Frankie walked over to the bedside table, and picked up the note, scribbled in Jane's handwriting. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He brought his fingers to his eyes, and applied pressure.

When he walked downstairs a minute later to find Maura looking confused. He handed her the note, and offered her a sympathetic look.

_M-_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, and I hate myself for it, but I lied to you. I'm not okay. I'm gonna call Dr. Berman, but there's something I gotta take care of first._

_-Jane_

"What does this mean?" Maura asked. "Is she…sick?"

"I…I don't know," Frankie replied honestly.

"I'm gonna call Frost and Korsak," Maura said as she grabbed her phone, "Ask them to keep an eye out for her."

Maura rushed into the other room, as she waited anxiously for Frost to pick up his phone.

"Frost," he greeted a moment later.

"Barry? It's Maura," Maura couldn't keep the emotion from her voice.

"Hey, Maura," Barry greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"I…I'm looking for Jane," Maura said quickly."She hasn't…shown up there, has she?"

"Actually she just got here," Frost revealed. "She's interviewing one of our suspects, right now."

"O-Okay," Maura breathed. "I…I'm coming. You can't let her go anywhere else, okay?"

"Maura?" Frost asked with an inflection of his voice. "What's… What's going on?"

"Jane is…. sick, Barry," Maura whispered, choking back a sob. "She's exhibiting symptoms. I just got a call from Dr. Berman…she defied his orders." Then. "Let me talk to her, Barry!"

"Jane!"

Jane turned towards the door, as she heard Frost knock on the glass.

"Jane! Maura is on the phone for you!" Frost's voice crackled over the intercom.

In two quick actions, Jane made her intentions abundantly clear.

In a series of motions, Jane pushed herself up from her chair, walked over to the door, and wedged the chair under the handle, preventing anyone's entrance. Then, she switched off the intercom.

On the other side of the glass, Frost was baffled.

"Jane?! What the hell are you doing?" He asked. "JANE!"

"Barry? What's happening?" Maura asked, hoping to get a sense of what was going on on the other end of the phone.

"She just barricaded herself inside the room with our main suspect," Frost announced.

"I'm coming!" Maura replied as she grabbed her purse from the counter and rushed towards the door.

She, too, was baffled, when she realized that her Prius was missing from the driveway. Then, with a gasp she realized that Jane had taken it.

"Jane," she breathed. "What the hell are you doing?"

* * *

_**A/N: No flames please! (Or I suppose you can, if you want!) Please Review and let me know what you think!**_

_***Sing songs* Things are getting interesting!**_


	7. Run To You

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Run To You**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next update!**

* * *

**_(Previously on R&I)..._**

_"Frost," he greeted a moment later._

_"Barry? It's Maura," Maura couldn't keep the emotion from her voice._

_"Hey, Maura," Barry greeted. "What can I do for you?"_

_"I…I'm looking for Jane," Maura said quickly."She hasn't…shown up there, has she?"_

_"Actually she just got here," Frost revealed. "She's interviewing one of our suspects, right now."_

_"O-Okay," Maura breathed. "I…I'm coming. You can't let her go anywhere else, okay?"_

_"Maura?" Frost asked with an inflection of his voice. "What's… What's going on?"_

_"Jane is…. sick, Barry," Maura whispered, choking back a sob. "She's exhibiting symptoms. I just got a call from Dr. Berman…she defied his orders." Then. "Let me talk to her, Barry!"_

_"Jane!"_

_Jane turned towards the door, as she heard Frost knock on the glass._

_"Jane! Maura is on the phone for you!" Frost's voice crackled over the intercom._

_In two quick actions, Jane made her intentions abundantly clear._

_In a series of motions, Jane pushed herself up from her chair, walked over to the door, and wedged the chair under the handle, preventing anyone's entrance. Then, she switched off the intercom._

_On the other side of the glass, Frost was baffled._

_"Jane?! What the hell are you doing?" He asked. "JANE!"_

_"Barry? What's happening?" Maura asked, hoping to get a sense of what was going on on the other end of the phone._

_"She just barricaded herself inside the room with our main suspect," Frost announced._

_"I'm coming!" Maura replied as she grabbed her purse from the counter and rushed towards the door._

_She, too, was baffled, when she realized that her Prius was missing from the driveway. Then, with a gasp she realized that Jane had taken it._

_"Jane," she breathed. "What the hell are you doing?"_

* * *

Maura whirled around and ran back inside.

"Frankie?!" Maura couldn't keep the panic from her voice. Frankie rushed into view.

"What is it, Maura?" he asked worriedly.

"I need help! It's...Jane," Maura breathed. "I need to borrow your car."

"Here! I'll take you!" he offered, pulling out his keys.

"You can come, but I'm driving," Maura said in a commanding voice.

"It's my car!" He argued with a laugh, but then realized the context of the moment. The rest of the laugh died in his throat at the look of pain on Maura's face.

"Take it or leave it," Maura said simply.

He handed her the keys.

"Maura!" Angela hustled into view. "Are you two leaving? What on earth is happening? Where's Jane?!"

"She's at the precinct," Maura said, "There's been an emergency." They were both lies. And yet, they were both the truth.

"We have to go, ma!" Frankie cut in.

"And just what am I supposed to do with all of this food?!" Angela replied with a cry of exasperation.

"I'm terribly sorry, Angela!" Maura apologized. "But we wouldn't leave you like this unless it was really important."

"Fine," Angela grumbled. "Go!" And without looking back, Maura and Frankie rushed for his car. There was no time to lose.

* * *

Maura practically ran down the hallway towards the interrogation room, her heels clicking over the tile. She'd gotten Dr. Berman's call only minutes ago, after discovering an agonizing note from, Jane. She'd felt every word and sentiment held throughout. Having to console Angela, Frankie, and Tommy, when she was hardly holding it together herself, had been torturous. And worse, she kept thinking that she might never see Jane again.

She finally came into view of the interrogation room, and rushed into the dark room, where Frost was waiting, anxiously watching Jane through the two-way glass. Through the glass she could see Jane pacing back and forth, unevenly wearing the tile flooring. A man was sitting in the chair on the opposite side of the table from Jane, and he looked alarmed and confused, to say the least.

"Jane!" Maura's high-pitched squeak barely resembled Jane's name, but Jane reacted to it all of the same. Jane's head whipped around, her eyes locking on the mirror. For a moment Jane wasn't sure if she was imagining it. She felt delirious from fever. But, sure enough, a moment later the two-way mirror flickered, and she found herself staring at lithe form of a very disheveled version of her best friend. "Jane!"

"Maura," Jane walked quickly to the glass plane, wondering how on earth Maura had gotten there so quickly. Jane switched on the intercom, and whispered Maura's name. Just seeing the honey colored, wavy haired blonde gave Jane immense comfort. "How are you here, right now?" Jane joked. "You must have driven a hundred miles an hour or something."

Maura looked mildly sheepish as she whispered. "Please don't tell anyone, Jane," Maura pleaded. Jane couldn't stop a laugh from bubbling up in her throat. And boy was Maura adorable, when she looked guilty.

"God," Jane rasped in a low timbre of her voice as the laugh subsided, "Maur, I'm so sorry." Maura's heart was heavy as she saw a tear weave its way down Jane's cheek.

"I know, Jane," Maura breathed. "But I should smack you for what you did! Just what the hell were you thinking? Huh, Jane?!"

"I…" Jane opened her mouth to reply, and then realized what she was doing. "There's something I had to do…" She was forced to correct herself, yet again, "_Have_!" Jane stuttered. "There's something I _have_ to do."

"Jane!" Maura's voice was pleading as she tried to pull Jane's attention back to her. "Jane! Wait! You need to open the door!" But it was too late. Jane had turned away from her, and walked back to the table. She placed her hands flat on the table and leant forwards. She could feel a track of sweat trickled down the side of her face, and drip onto the table.

"Is it hot in here?" she asked Casey calmly.

"A little," he replied, before gulping nervously. His eyes darted to the two-way glass, where he saw two pairs of eyes staring back at him. "You…" he tried not to sound too scared as he asked, "You aren't going to kill me with them watching, are you? I mean…cause there would be witnesses."

"I make no promises," Jane replied with a glare. "But if you are helpful, I'd be much more inclined to let you live."

"I told you, already," Casey said. "I don't know anything."

"You don't know anything?!" Jane shouted, slamming her fist down onto the top of the table. All three parties, flinched backwards as they saw the fury in Jane's expression.

"Then tell me something, Casey!" Jane ordered. "How in the hell did pathogens go missing from your place of work right after you were let go? Huh? How?!"

"I…I d-don't know," he replied nervously, his eyes darting around the room.

"You knew their facility inside and out, Casey," Jane said with a sharp edge to her voice. "You knew about all of the security measures. You knew the codes. And you knew how to get in and out without seeing a living soul!" She took a deep breath, watching him flinch at each of the accusations in her remark. "Do you really wanna stick with what you're telling me?" Jane said with a tinge of disgust.

She expected Casey to make some sort of remark, but instead he remained mutely silent.

"My partners requested your service record, Casey," Jane revealed. "And… I have to say that I find it very interesting that your mental health was never brought up until a month ago." Then. "You've been in the service for over five years. And there's not one mention of your mental health, until...now."

"That's because I'm not crazy!" Mancuso blurted out rather emphatically.

"That's interesting," Jane said flatly. "But here's the thing. See? Because if I were crazy?" Jane said matter of factly, "That's exactly what I'd say!"

"But I'm not!" Casey asserted. "Look! They let me go, because I wouldn't stay quiet!" He looked impassioned as he said. "The vaccine they gave me made. me. sick!"

"Sick, how?" Jane said all too quietly, her blood running still. She couldn't breath, and grabbed at her chest. She grunted.

"I… What do you care?" he asked. "You were just trying to tell me I'm crazy!"

"I…I'm not," Jane gritted out. "I…I don't. I don't think you're crazy, all right?" Jane took a shallow breath. "So …please. Will you just tell me what the vaccine they gave you, did to you?"

"They...they gave me the vaccine, and then I started having muscle cramps, tremors, headaches. When I went to their docs, they tried to tell me it was all in my head! But it wasn't… It's not!"

"You made it sound like they made you take the vaccine," Jane said afterwards. "Couldn't you have refused?"

"Not if I wanted to keep my job!" Casey replied. "It was in some stupid clause of the contract," Casey revealed. "I had to take it, if they were going to hire me, and then get yearly vaccines to keep my job later." He looked frustrated. "So I took them."

"And you didn't have any problems initially?" Jane questioned.

"No."

"When did the symptoms start?"

"A year and a half ago," Casey replied easily. "I have the paperwork to prove it. Although their docs were completely incompetent."

"We have a doc," Jane revealed while looking to Maura. "Maybe she can help you."

"I…I appreciate that, but I…I already got a second opinion," Mancuso revealed. "I…I'm dying." Jane gasped. "It's ALS." Jane heard Maura's voice over the intercom, relaying information about ALS, how fast the disease ran its course, and what its symptoms were." And her heart sank. This guy was living under a death sentence. And when he'd turned to the government for help they'd done nothing. With a pang, she realized that it really wasn't hard to relate to this guy at all.

Jane walked over to the glass, looked directly at Maura, and asked. "Is that even possible? Could a tainted vaccine result in ALS?"

"It's been argued that the presence of certain adjuvants, such as squalene, in lipid based vaccines can cause long term medical side effects. There is a large spectrum of illnesses that have been attributed to vaccines...anything from autism to.."

"So it's entirely possible," Jane repeated.

"Yes."

"Okay," Jane nodded. "Thank you, Maur," Jane quirked a grateful smile, noticing how Maura's eyes fell onto her lips and stayed there. "Remind me later that I owe you."

"I…I understand now," Jane breathed as she turned around. "Believe me…when I found out I'd been infected…that I might be dying, I was so angry. But now? I understand why you did it. You needed to make a point."

"What are you talking about?" Casey asked.

"You took the pathogens from the lab," Jane stated. "Maybe you simply just thought that you'd show them. That you'd pay them back for what they did to you." Jane said softly. "But the people out there?" Jane gesticulated in a circle, "In Boston? And the rest of the country? They didn't do anything to you, Casey! They...They're…innocent." Jane's voice cracked. "And those pathogens are deadly. A lot of people could get hurt, Casey. A lot of people could die...if you don't help me." Jane's voice softened as she said, "_Please_."

Maura watched Jane with a scrutinizing expression on her features. The way that Jane spoke with such an earnest and heartfelt tone, broke her heart. And something honestly felt like it was eating away at her insides.

"Maura?" Frost's voice had her turning away from the window. Maura's swallowed, as Frost held out a tissue for her with a soft expression. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Maura's voice was thick. She took the tissue from him with a bit of confusion, but then she suddenly realized that she was crying as a tear dripped down onto her hand.

"Oh," she gasped. "S-Sorry."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the glass, Jane groaned softly, her brows knitting together as she breathed shallowly through the pain.

Over the course of the last few minutes, sweat had pooled on her forehead and lower back. She was finding it hard to concentrate. The pain was worsening and pushing itself to the forefront to her mind. She tried to push it away and ignore it but it was only getting worse. Her legs wobbled beneath her under the exertion of holding her up. She felt weak, drained. She forced herself to look down at her hand. However, she didn't see just one hand but two. She was seeing double. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

"Uh…Detective Rizzoli?" Casey muttered nervously as he looked at the fearless, determined, head strong woman before him. He saw her facade flicker and weaken before his eyes. That was his first clue that something was wrong. "Are…. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jane replied, while lifting running a hand over her jaw. Jane closed her eyes as her world began to spin. She was so unbelievably tired all of a sudden. She swallowed to find her throat dry. When she opened her eyes again, her vision tunneled almost instantly. She groaned, stumbling again.

"You sure?" Casey stood up, "Because you look…." Maura pressed forwards against the glass as she suddenly took in the way that Jane was swaying back and forth in the adjoining room.

"Jane?" Jane suddenly had trouble discerning up from down. Maura's voice faded to the background as her vision blurred at the edges.

"You know what?" Jane said finally reaching out for something to hold on to. Only there was nothing within arm's reach. "I really think that I need to sit down."

Casey Mancuso grabbed the chair, as he watched the next few seconds transpire in almost slow motion. He silently wondered if the interrogation could have gone any worse.

Maura couldn't do anything as Jane crumpled to the floor. "Jane!"

Casey tried desperately to reach her in time, clearing the distance in three large steps. Jane's knees buckled just as he reached her, and he grabbed her just under her arms. Without breathing, he slowly he lowered her to the floor.

"Help! I need help in here!" he shouted in a tremulous voice.

Maura screamed as she tugged at the door. "Frost! Get me in there! Now!" Maura looked at him. "I don't care if you have to break this glass! Get me in there!"

Fortunately, Casey seemed to come to himself. He rushed over, grabbing the chair and un-wedged it from under the handle. Not a heartbeat later, the door was thrown open, and Maura and Frost rushed inside.

"I need some help in here!" Maura yelled feeling for a pulse. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"I…I don't know what happened," Casey stuttered. "She…She looked like she was sick or something, but I didn't think anything of it."

Maura whirled on him, anger and fury in her flashing hazel eyes.

"Sick?!" Maura spat, rushing towards him with fists clenched. "Sick?!" she spat again with venom in her voice. "She's dying! You…you…you mess around with pathogens like you have, and this is what happens!" Frost put himself in-between the stunned looking suspect, and it was taking all of his strength, to keep Maura away from him. "You may be dying, because of what the medical research lab did, but _she's _dying because of _you_!"

"Maura! Maura, stop!" Frost's booming voice finally got through to her. She was panting hard, her blood whooshing in her ears.

"I..." Casey looked stunned. "No one was supposed to get hurt," he whispers. "I was just trying to scare them."

"Don't say another word!" Frost shouts at him. "Not without a lawyer present!"

"But I didn't alter them…" Casey defended. "I wouldn't even know how!"

"Did you not hear what I just said?!" Frost shouted. "They will put you away and throw away the key!"

"And she..." Frost swallowed. "_She_ will kill you!" he said pointedly. "Because she's right. Jane is dying and it's your fault." And Frost's voice quavered as he said. "And...God, I...I want to wring your neck too, but I _won't_. Because I know that Jane wouldn't _want_ me to."

"I'm sorry," Casey apologized. "Oh, God, I'm s-so s-sorry," he said, while looking to Jane's lifeless body.

Frost grabbed Maura by the shoulders, and shook her. He was still having to hold her back. "Maura…Maura!" Frost said loudly. "Look at me!" It took Maura a moment to meet his eyes. "Jane needs you! Jane needs you, Maura!" Then in a pleading voice. "Help her. _Please_." Maura nodded, and seemed to come into her own. She turned back to Jane's body, quickly gathering the brunette in her arms.

The door burst open immediately and Korsak rushed in with Frankie on his heels. Maura had Jane's head cradled in her lap.

"What happened?" Korsak's strained voice asked in disbelief. Maura was too engrossed in Jane to answer her.

"Jane," Maura's voice trembled as she gently tapped the brunette's face with her hand. "Jane, can you hear me?" Jane's head lolled back and forth, but her eyes didn't open. Her skin felt like it was on fire. "Come on, sweetheart. Wake up. You've got to wake up." Maura bent down, listening for breath sounds. There were none. Suddenly, Maura's heart felt like it stopped. She dropped Jane the rest of way to the floor as paramedics rushed into the room.

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, guys! You know what to do!**_


	8. Before We Come Undone

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Before We Come Undone**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next update!**

**I'm not going to talk it up any, but rather, I'm just going to let you get to it!**

* * *

_(Possible dream sequence)_

_Maura made her way slowly down the aisle in a beaded strapless white gown. She could feel her hands shake ever so slightly around the bouquet as hundreds of pairs of eyes stared back at her. She was absolutely gorgeous as she walked on the thin rose-petaled carpet to the music being played by the string quartet. The light from the day outside poured gently inside the cathedral through the towering stain glass windows that lined each side of the church, and met in the middle as if it were drawn to Maura and her white gown. _

_Maura's heart stopped as she stopped looking at those watching her from the aisles and instead, slowly lifted up towards the alter. She couldn't breathe as she saw Jane in a beautifully flowing gown, with an intricately beaded bodice, and lace sleeves. It contrasted beautifully with Jane's tanned skin. It was a bit of a shock really, as Maura had expected Jane to wear a tux, if not a Red Sox jersey. She smiled at Jane, meeting Jane's twinkling brown eyes. As Maura took her last few steps to the altar, the last few notes of Pachabel's Canon in D minor rang out loudly throughout the sanctuary. _

_Once Maura and Korsak reached the end of the aisle, the pastor spoke his first words._

_"We are gathered here upon this fine evening in the presence of God, the son and the holy spirit, along with these witnesses, to join together this woman and this woman in marriage. Who wishes to give the bride to the bride?"_

_"I do," Korsak, answered as he leaned over and placed a kiss lightly on Maura's left cheek. With this he parted from Maura and stepped up onto the altar to stand in his position as Jane's bridesman. Maura gracefully accepted Jane's hand and stepped up onto the elevated altar to face the woman that she loved more than anything._

"_Before we proceed," the pastor spoke a loud booming voice, "Should anyone wish for this woman and this woman to not be married, please speak now, or forever hold your piece." The church fell into a deadly quiet, and after a long period of silence, the pastor was satisfied enough to continue._

_"I understand that you have prepared vows for one another," the pastor said looking between the two, who both nodded, "very well. I will let you express your love for one another."_

_"Maura Dorothea Isles," Jane spoke quietly, giving Maura's hands a gentle squeeze. "To say that my life has been difficult would be an understatement. I have seen the very worst of what the world can offer. I've seen and experienced horrific things that haunt me to this very day. But you? You remind me of the good that exists too. Every day that I wake up to your beautiful smile, and your infectious laugh, I remember all of the good things that are in this world. You make my heart just a little lighter, Maura. In your arms I feel safe. And for that I am eternally grateful. You accept me for who I am. I…I know that I can make it difficult sometimes, because I'm very guarded when it comes to my feelings, but you…you've never given up on me. You're patient, kind. I…I love you, Maura, and I want to love you forever. You are my best friend...my soul mate. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in the good times and in the bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life." By this time, tears flowed freely from Maura's hazel eyes as she stared into Jane's doe-like brown orbs with affection and love. She savored Jane's promise of forever._

_"Jane Rizzoli," Maura's voice began through her chocked sobs as she gripped Jane's hands tightly, "You are my best friend. But you are so much more than that. You have been through so much, but you have always been there for me. You've protected me, gave me a shoulder to cry on, but most importantly, you listen. You've always listened to me. When others have simply told me to stop talking, you have given me the sense that you have all of the time in the world. You make me feel like I'm the only way that time is measured. You make me so happy, Jane. You're so wondrously compassionate. I watch you work, and sometimes I'm just in awe. You're amazing. And although sometimes you make it difficult, I want you to know that I will always be there. Jane, you are my best friend. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow."_

_"Could we have the rings please," the pastor gestured as Frost produced them from within his tux pocket almost immediately. Jane took Maura's ring from her friend's hand and held it to the tip Maura's slender ring finger._

_"Repeat after me," the pastor commanded, "with this ring, I thee wed."_

_"With this ring," Jane spoke clearly as she slid the silver onto her finger, "I thee wed."_

_Maura held tightly onto the light piece of metal that represented so much, as the pastor requested the same thing of her._

_"With this ring," she whispered quietly as she slipped the ring onto Jane's finger, "I thee wed."_

_"Jane," the pastor spoke to her as if to rip her eyes from Maura as she stood there, "do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife, promise to cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do," Jane answered with a smile._

_"Maura," he said as he turned to her, "do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, promise to cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, as long as you both shall live?_

_"I do," Maura said with a small giggle of happiness._

_"Well then, congratulations…I now pronounce you wife and wife," the pastor said happily, "you may now kiss the bride." Frankie, Angela, and Tommy watched as Jane stepped forward and took Maura in her muscular arms and kissed her gently in front of their few witnesses in celebration. _

_Maura was almost giddy as she pulled away, and her eyes fluttered open once more. But just then, her heart stopped. She gasped, and took a step back. She hardly noticed Jane's outstretched hand. Maura couldn't breathe, as she watched a small stream of red make it's way down Jane's chin._

"_What?" Jane asked, looking wounded. "Maura, what is it?"_

"_Jane… Your nose is bleeding," Maura whispered finally. Jane grunted quickly lifting up a hand to pinch her nose. Korsak rushed forwards with a handkerchief. Jane hastily grabbed it from him and lifted it to her face. _

_Maura gasped as a drop escaped and fell onto Jane's chest, landing on the bodice of the formerly pristine white dress._

"_Jane!" Maura cried as she stepped forwards. Jane only seemed to be making it worse. Several more drops of red fell onto Jane's chest. Maura couldn't tell where the blood was coming from. Then she saw the blood running down Jane's forearms. "Jane, your hands! Your hands are bleeding." Maura reached out to touch her wife, and Jane recoiled._

"_NO! Don't touch me!" Jane screamed, recoiling away from Maura. "Maur, get out of here! GO" Jane started to sob, the panic finally winning out. "Everyone! You have to get out."_

_Then Maura saw the blood dripping from Jane's fingertips, the suddenly odd tinge to Jane's skin, and the way Jane was barely holding herself up._

"_Jane," Maura breathed. Oh, god. No! This can't be happening. Not Jane. _

"_Oh god," Maura whispered. _

_"S-Something is wrong with me," Jane's voice cracked. "Maura, please, you have to get out of here…"_

"And y_ou have to let me help you!" Maura pressed. "Jane, I'm a doctor. Y-You have to let me help." Maura couldn't stop the tears from building._

"_You c-can't help me," Jane replied. "Just get out…"_

_Maura did not leave. She saw the fear in Jane's eyes. She took another step forwards. Her love for Jane made her unable to do anything else._

"_Don't! I mean it!" Jane's whole body trembled, and her chest seized in anguish._

"_Jane, breathe," Maura said as she noticed her best friend wasn't breathing. The brunette was focusing too much on suppressing her tears and not enough on breathing. "Jane, you need to calm down. You need to remember to breathe. I…I'm going to get a mask, and some gloves. And then I'm going to help you, okay?"_

_Maura rushed off the alter and towards her waiting room for her bag. She pulled out a mask and gloves, and rushed back towards where she knew she would find Jane._

"_Jane?" Maura struggled to get mask and gloves on. Her own hands were trembling._

_Then she noticed, how Jane was now breathing much to fast. "Jane? Okay, now you're breathing much too quickly, honey. You're hyperventilating. You have to slow down your breathing. Okay? Otherwise it could result in respiratory alkalosis." Maura took a deep breath and then slowly let it out. "See?" Maura mimed for Jane to do as she did. "In. Out. Slower, Jane."_

"_Okay," Maura whispered lifting her hands. "Jane, I get that you're scared. You've never experienced these kinds of symptoms before, and everything about this situation is terrifying. But I am a doctor, and I was trained to help treat people. And I'm telling you that you need to let me help you. Otherwise…"_

"_Jane," Maura took a step forwards, and breathed a sigh of relief when Jane didn't immediately step back. "Jane, it's going to be okay."_

"_N-No," Jane breathed, as she took a staggering step backwards, her arms wrapped around her middle. Red streaks, set into the middle of Jane's gown, leaving imprints of her hands. "No." _

"_Jane," Maura breathed, her eyes pleading with Jane to let her help. "Jane, breathe, honey. You have to breathe."_

_She watched Jane's eyes roll up into her head, as the brunette collapsed towards the floor. By the time Jane hit the floor, Jane's lips were blue and Jane wasn't breathing. Slowly, the white on the gown darkened, turning first to gray and then to black._

"_NO!" Maura screamed, a blood-curdling scream. She felt arms seize her and hold her back._

"Maura!" Frankie's voice was frantic, as he shook Maura's shoulders. Maura thrashed awake. She felt arms seize her own, to keep them from inflicting damage. "Maura, it's just a dream. Easy, Maura," he pleaded. "Wake up. It's okay... It's just a bad dream."

Maura groaned and straightened up in the chair. Her eyes opened slowly. She didn't move or speak for a long moment as she struggled to reacquaint herself to her surroundings. They were in the hospital waiting room, waiting. They were waiting to hear some news of Jane.

Slowly, Maura began to stretch the sore muscles in her back and shoulders. She had a crick in her neck, because of the way she'd fallen asleep. She groaned again, as she rubbed at the back of her neck. As she pulled her hand away, and let it fall into her lap. She half expected to see a band of silver glinting on her left hand. But instead it was merely empty, confirming what she already knew. It had been a dream…a nightmare. It wasn't real.

"It was a nightmare," Maura whispered. She rarely ever had nightmares, if ever.

"Judging by the way you were thrashing, I would say, yeah," Frankie said softly.

"How long was I asleep?" Maura asked.

"A couple of hours," Frankie replied while glancing at his watch.

"Did I miss the doctor?" Maura asked.

"I didn't want to wake you," Frankie replied sheepishly. "You didn't sleep last night."

"What?!" Maura hissed incredulously. "What did they say? When can we see, Jane?"

"They won't let us see her, Maura," Frankie announced. "I'm sorry. But she's…. She's under quarantine until they can be sure of what it is she has."

"Are you kidding me?" Maura asked. "She's dying and they won't let us see her?"

Maura stood up, her hands curling into fists. Then, without warning, Maura stalked off towards the elevator. Frankie jumped up and jogged after her, as it became apparent she was going somewhere.

"Maura, where are you going?" Frankie asked as she jabbed the button for the elevator.

"To get some answers," Maura replied determinedly, "Some _real_ answers." Frankie remained in tow all of the way to the Physician's office section of the hospital.

She rushed past a secretary, as the young woman tried to forestall Maura and Frankie by telling them that Dr. Parker was busy, and that they couldn't go in. Maura pressed on, with little regard for what the woman was saying.

_Let her call security if she wants, _Maura thought, _I don't care._

Maura pushed open the door, and was met by the surprised gaze of a man she met for the first time four days ago, but a man that she also seemed to hit it off well with.

"Dr. Parker?" Maura asked softly.

"Dr. Isles," Dr. Parker greeted as he hastily stood up from his desk. "What are you doing here?"

His secretary rushed in, apologies falling from her lips. "I'm sorry, Dr. Parker, but they just walked right by me. I tried to tell them that you were busy and…"

"It's all right, Linda," he said with a smile. "Thank you." Linda shot Maura a glare and departed, shutting the door behind her.

"What can I do for you, Dr. Isles?" Dr. Parker asked in a friendly manner.

"I… I want to know what is going on with Jane Rizzoli," Maura replied. "I want to see her. And I need you to make that happen."

"Jane isn't in a position to see anyone right now," Dr. Parker replied honestly. "She's very sick."

"So you keep saying," Maura replied, "But you won't tell me what is wrong with her."

"I can't!" he replied in exasperation. "You're a doctor. You should know all about Doctor/Patient confidentiality."

"I'm her power of attorney," Maura spoke in a rebuttal. "Do you need to see proof, first? Or will you tell me what is wrong?"

"She's experiencing massive internal bleeding," Dr. Parker revealed. "We haven't been able to stop it." He looked frustrated. "She's still vomiting blood by the pint."

"What's causing it? Thrombocytopenia?" Maura asked.

"Yeah. Platelets are in the single digits," he answered. "Her blood isn't clotting."

"How many?" Maura whispered, her heart sinking.

"8,000," Dr. Parker replied. "We've had to give her a couple of transfusions already, and may have to give her a third."

Maura felt a pang of fear and shock. Being a doctor, she knew that platelet levels were typically in the 80,000 to 120,000 range. She wasn't sure that Jane could survive with only 8,000.

Maura let out a sigh, and turned away. Tears built in her eyes, causing them to sting. She took several deep breaths and fought to steady herself before turning back around.

"Dr. Parker," Jane breathed. "Look, I understand there are protocols for situations like this, and that…that some rules just can't be bent or broken. But I need to see, Jane Rizzoli. Now." He opened his mouth to reply, but she didn't let him get that far. "Jane… She's probably scared out of her mind…and no one should be on her own at a time like this. She needs her family. She needs me."

"We don't know enough about this virus, to be sure of your safety," Dr. Parker argued. "We don't know how easily it is transmitted. We don't know _how_ it's transmitted. Dr. Isles, it…it could be airborne."

"I will happily wear whatever protective gear is necessary," Maura replied. "But I _am_ going to see her."

"Dr. Isles…"

"And if you're really worried about me getting this 'virus', then you should probably know that I've been exposed to it," Maura said in a hurried rush. "I shared a bed with Jane on the night that she was released." She swallowed, and then added. "Before her symptoms appeared."

"Wow," Dr. Parker replied, not sure what to do. "Okay…" He took a deep breath.

"But you're not exhibiting symptoms are you?" he asked a moment later. He looked like he was pondering something.

"No." Dr. Parker was about to say something else when the phone on his desk started ringing.

Maura looked on, watching and listening as he picked up the phone from its cradle.

"Dr. Parker," he said in a professional tone. Maura vaguely heard a voice talking a mile a minute on the other end of the phone. "Really?" Parker asked, his expression was much too grim for it to be good news. "How many?" he asked. Maura heard the voice on the other end answer. "Where did you find them?" A beat. "Are you sure?" his frown was deepening by the second. "Okay… I'll be right down. But…I'm going to need some help on this one. Yeah. I'll take care of it." He sighed. "Thanks." Dr. Parker dropped the phone into its cradle.

"Is something wrong?" Maura asked. She could tell he was hoping for something.

"We just had several bodies turn up," Parker replied, running a hand over his balding head.

"Wow," Maura replied. "That's a full day's work, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Look, Dr. Isles. I know that you're eager to see your friend, but I need your help first." Maura remained mute. "I need you to help me perform these autopsies. It's…It's really important. And it might help your friend, more than you know."

"How?" Maura asked. But then the thought occurred to her. "How will it help Jane?"

"Wait…" Maura ordered, her mind suddenly working on overdrive. "Wait a minute… Are these bodies… Do you think that they were infected with the virus?"

"My lab techs seem to think so," Parker said, grabbing his lab coat. "So what do you say, Dr. Isles? Will you help me?"

"Yeah…" Maura replied. "Just promise me, you'll consider letting me see Jane?"

"Of course," he replied.

* * *

_**A/N: Thoughts?! Please review! I will update as soon as humanly possible. **_

_**Most of the next few chapters are written and just need to be edited.**_


	9. Move Along

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next update! I'm rather proud of myself for posting this as quickly as I managed. If there are any editing mistakes, however, I apologize!**

* * *

The only thing that Maura could hear, were the sounds of her own breathing, and the whirring of the bone saw, as she carefully opened up the thoracic cavity of the young woman before her. It was never easy, and this time it was even more difficult due to the full body suit that Dr. Parker insisted they both wear. It felt like a hundred degrees inside the suit, despite the fact that they were in a refrigerated room, in the hospital's basement. With slow, calculated movements, Maura lifted the ribcage from the thoracic cavity, and set it to the side. As her eyes fell on the heart and lungs, Maura gasped. She had a feeling that she'd just found the cause of death, without needing to try. The pericardium was inflamed, the lungs looked to be filled with large amounts of fluid

Maura carefully picked up a scalpel and excised the lungs before lifting them out of the body. She made another deft incision, holding her breath as she did so. She needed to see inside of the lungs, to know if her initial hypothesis was correct. And sure enough, when she saw the amount of fluid and massive scarring around the alveoli, she knew that this young woman had died of asphyxiation. In no uncertain terms, this young woman had drowned in her own lungs. It was a terrible way to go.

Dr. Parker walked over and clucked his tongue.

"Asphyxiation," Maura breathed. "Massive scarring to the lungs. Pericarditis, and internal bleeding. These women went through hell." She took a deep breath.

_Jane is going to go through hell_, Maura thought.

"I haven't even looked at the kidneys and liver yet, but given what we saw in the first two, I have a feeling we're going to find much of the same." Maura announced.

"I have a feeling you're right," he teased. "I had the lab techs run a Tox screen on the victim's blood, as well as a DNA profile. Maybe we'll get lucky and something will pop." He looked thoughtful as he said. "I'm hoping that one of these girls is patient zero. Otherwise, there's a good possibility that we have more sick people out there."

"Do we have a timeline?" Maura asked. "Did they say where the bodies turned up?"

"They were dumped outside Mass Gen in Boston," Dr. Parker announced. "It's like someone wanted us to find them…"

"They're taunting us," Maura said, with anger boiling in her veins. Dr. Parker nodded.

"And we don't have any idea who these women are?" Maura questioned.

"Afraid not," he replied.

"I'll talk to Jane," Maura said after a moment, as she continued to work. "She might have some ideas."

"About that," Dr. Parker hedged as he lifted the excised heart into the scale and recorded the weight.

"Uh uh," Maura shook her head. "You promised." Maura felt emboldened. "And let's not pretend that you don't have to put us all under quarantine regardless. Jane was at my house, which means that everyone who set foot in that home was exposed. Am I wrong?"

"No," Dr. Parker shook his head. "You're entirely correct." He let out a sigh. "It's just that I'd rather not risk any more exposure if I can help it."

"I appreciate your concern," Maura said coolly, "But I'm a doctor, a very intelligent human being, and I believe that I am capable of deciding if it is worth the risk. And Jane? Jane is more than worth the risk to me!"

"When we are finished here," Dr. Parker said after a moment's contemplation, "I will take you to her."

"Thank you," Maura said gratefully, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

* * *

When Maura arrived at Jane's room two hours later, she felt dread. She couldn't get the picture of those three young women out of her mind, no matter what she did. And she couldn't stop picturing Jane on one of those tables.

A nurse, who was arriving to take some of Jane's blood, looked at Maura consolingly. The usually composed forensic pathologist appeared to be genuinely worried and fearful. The nurse was supposed to take blood on the hour every hour, and send it off to the lab to check for more of the bacterium in Jane's bloodstream. Jane didn't so much as flinch, when the nurse pierced the skin of Jane's forearm. Maura tried to gather herself before placing a hand on the glass near Jane's side. The blonde M.E. hoped that things weren't as bad as they seemed. She spent the next couple of hours watching Jane sleep. The lanky, flushed, detective seemed awfully restless, and Maura wished she could do something to ease Jane's discomfort.

Maura was pulled out of her reverie as a hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to meet the eyes of a young doctor.

"Dr. Isles?" he greeted softly.

"Hello, Dr. Berman," Maura replied. "How…how is she?"

"Well," he sighed. "I'm pretty concerned," he told her, while holding tightly onto Jane's chart. "I just got the blood results back. The number of bacteria in Jane's bloodstream has tripled in the last eight hours. It looks like we're in the thick of it. We're going to increase her medication."

"Oh, god," Maura asked in disbelief. "So this is really happening?!"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess that the good news is that we are aware of it now, and we can take every precaution." He swallowed, "I'm still mystified as to how the infection didn't show up sooner, but I suppose that it doesn't matter now." He forced a weak smile.

"I'd like to go inside and see her if I can," Maura said strongly.

"Not right now," Dr. Berman shook his head.

"Please," Maura said emphatically. "She needs to see a comforting face. She doesn't even realize that I'm here. She hasn't opened her eyes _once_!"

"I understand your feelings, but Jane needs rest," Dr. Berman argued. "And right now, she needs rest more than she needs anything else." He gauged the situation-the look of fear in Maura's eyes, the look of pain evident through her whole body-and realized with some sort of epiphany that there was much more to their relationship than met the eye initially. He gently grabbed Maura's elbow and led her a little ways down the hall so that they could have a private conversation. "Look," Nate said candidly, "I know how difficult this must be for you. Sometimes I think spouses or significant others carry the brunt of the burden."

"Oh, we're not…" Maura cut herself off. Because the fact of the matter, was that she wished she was Jane's significant other.

"It must be hard knowing what lies ahead for Jane," he continued, "and with you being a doctor, I'm sure you know all too well how fast something like this can progress. But I promise you that we're going to do everything in our power to give Jane the best care possible. And in return, the only thing I ask is that you defer to my judgment." Maura sighed dejectedly. She could see that Dr. Berman meant well. "Please…"

"Dr. Isles," Maura offered helpfully, "Call me Maura."

"Maura," he smiled, continuing gently. "Please. Give it some more time. We only just got Jane's bleeding under control. And right now she's in need of some sleep."

Maura nodded.

"I apologize," he said after a moment, "But I've got to go in there and check her heart and lungs." It hardly seemed fair, that he got to go in there and touch the woman she loved, while she was left standing outside. But she pushed down that feeling, and imply nodded assent.

She watched as the doctor listened to Jane's heart and lungs, shaking his head for a long moment as he jotted something down in Jane's chart. When he cleared the door several minutes later, after going through decontamination, he had a somber look on his face.

"What is it?" Maura asked flatly, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears.

"There's already fluid in her lungs," he looked discouraged, "I'm going to put her on supplemental oxygen, and increase her antibiotics. I'll be right back."

* * *

For a long time after the doctor departed, Maura stared at Jane's motionless form. When Angela Rizzoli showed up, Maura took her out into the hall to give her the bad news.

"How is she?" Angela breathed worriedly, "How's Janie? How's my baby?"

"Mrs. Rizzoli," Maura breathed quietly, "This is…hard, but I want to be up front with you."

"Maura, sweetie," Angela looked genuinely concerned, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," Maura replied honestly, shaking her head. Tears streaked down her face, and she didn't bother wiping them away. "No. I'm not okay. Jane… She's pretty sick. The infection is very fast acting, which means that her condition could deteriorate pretty rapidly. You should be prepared. Jane might not have much time left." Angela stared back at Maura, not sure how to react. Suddenly, Maura winced as the older woman started sobbing and threw her arms around Maura. Maura held on tightly, wanting to bring as much comfort to the woman as possible. After all, Angela Rizzoli had become like a second mother to Maura. Maura looked over Angela's shoulder to where Jane lie curled up in bed.

Nurses flitted in and out of Jane's room, hooking Jane up to all sorts of monitors and machines. Maura could see that this troubled Jane, but internally the doctor was grateful. After all, she knew how quickly things could deteriorate in these cases and she wanted to make sure that they knew the second Jane took some kind of turn for the worse. Angela's brows furrowed as her eyes raked over all of the tangled wires running to and from Jane's body.

"Maura, sweetheart," Angela said finally, looking troubled. "Is that really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so," Maura nodded. "They just want to make sure that her heart and lungs are monitored in case her heart stops or she's not getting enough oxygen." Angela nodded. Maura's heart broke as she watched tears stream down Angela Rizzoli's face. Maura knew that it was impossible for a heart to physically break, but she understood the saying a lot better now. Whatever it was that she was currently feeling hurt like hell.

"I'm sorry," Angela apologized, wiping vigorously at her tears, "Excuse me for a minute." Maura nodded, watching as she fled down the hall. She lost track of the minutes that she stood there alone, hands to the glass, just hoping that the walls would suddenly cave in so that she could walk up to Jane's bed, and take the woman in her arms.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she felt a hand graze her shoulder.

She turned around, alarm flashing through her eyes.

"Have you moved, since I left you?" Dr. Berman asked. Maura didn't trust herself to speak, and so she just shook her head.

She thought that he was mocking her for standing around like a lost puppy. But then she saw the sympathy and warmth in his eyes. She saw him warm up to her, and found herself hoping against hope that he would tell her she could go inside.

"You can go in, if you still want to," he said a heartbeat later. "I would just ask that you try not to wake her if you can help it." Maura stared at him dumbly, as if she didn't believe what he was saying.

"Oh, and you might want to take a chair in there with you, if you plan on staying in there a while," he continued with a smile. "Dr. Isles?"

"T-Thank you," Maura whispered, as tears built in her eyes. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," he replied. "Just hit the call button if you need anything, all right?" he said. "And make sure to put on some coveralls before you go in there." Maura smiled and nodded.

Maura took a deep breath and stepped into Jane's room. She let her eyes rake over all of the machines, checking the read outs for herself. Everything appeared to be acceptable. Maura heard the whine of the motor as the blood pressure cuff positioned over Jane's brachial artery started to inflate. The thin white material inflated slowly before it reached a high enough pressure and stopped. She could hear the soft whoosh of air being released, even over the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Maura walked over and studied the heart monitor with intense scrutiny. The machine beeped as it gave a read out of Jane's blood pressure. She was satisfied that Jane was okay, at least for the time being. Maura walked over to Jane's bedside and sat down in the chair she'd brought in with her.

"Jane," Maura breathed softly, in a warm comforting voice. "Honey? It's me. I'm here. You just rest, okay? I'll be right here. I…I promise."

Jane slowly turned towards her friend, the cannula under her nose was supposed to help her breathe a little easier. Jane's eyes fluttered open slowly, almost groggily, but they opened. And Maura found herself unable to breathe as hazel met deep brown.

"God," Jane rasped in a low timbre of her voice, "It's so good to see you."

"You too, Jane," Maura said with a weak smile. Jane leaned back against the pillows, looking gaunt.

"I thought they were never gonna let you in here," Jane said after a long moment's silence.

"I know," Maura replied. "Me too."

"So how is my favorite person holding up?" Jane let out an involuntary laugh, amused by Maura's words.

"I'm your favorite person?" Jane smiled now, a wide beaming smile. "Really?"

"Of course you are, Jane," Maura replied as if it were obvious. "Who else would it be?"

"I don't know," Jane swallowed thickly. "Some scientist, or inventor, or something?" she replied vaguely. "Someone who actually accomplished something worthwhile during their lifetime?"

"Don't," Maura shook her head. "You've accomplished a hell of a lot, Jane. I don't want any more self-deprecating swivel from you, you hear me? No more putting yourself down."

"Yeah," Jane replied softly. "I'm sorry," Jane apologized. "I guess that I'm just wondering what on earth I've done to earn such a prestigious title?" Jane paused. "Is it just cause I'm awesome, or is it because I look sexy in my gown?"

"Jane!" Maura's voice cracked, and the M.E. flushed a deep shade of scarlet. She looked rather appalled by Jane's question, and had to fight another laugh as Maura's face scrunched up.

"God, you're cute when you're embarrassed," Jane breathed honestly, before letting out a deep sigh. "You have to admit. I _am_ rocking the hospital gown."

"That you are, Jane," Maura conceded, making a show of running her eyes up and down Jane's body. "That you are."

When Jane swallowed again, a tickle in her throat catapulted Jane into a small coughing fit. Maura frowned, noting just how tired that Jane looked. The brunette was trying to put up a good front. Maura could tell that Jane was trying to remain optimistic, but knew that her best friend was getting worse. Jane's usually olive colored skin was pale. Maura could see the large purple bags under Jane's eyes that made her look ill. Her cheeks looked sunken and hollow in a way that countered Jane's usually beautiful bone structure.

Jane took a long moment to swallow before speaking in a raspy voice.

"Please don't look so worried," Jane pleaded the blonde with a weak smile, though it looked like it took a big effort on her part. "I'm going to be fine."

"I was just admiring how beautiful you look," Maura said without thinking.

"Hives, Maur," Jane teased. But sure enough, Maura looked down to see splotches of red on her skin.

"Okay, fine," Maura admitted, "I'm worried about you."

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked as she reached up to brush some hair out of Jane's eyes.

"Good," Jane replied. Maura bit down on her lip and looked away.

"Jane," Maura sighed. "You don't have to lie. It's okay."

"Who says I'm lying?" Jane asked. Jane looked down to where their hands were inches apart, not touching. Jane took another wheezing breath. "Oh you mean this?" Jane joked as she pulled away the oxygen tubing. "It's just a precaution. I don't even need it."

"Jane," Maura hissed, fixing the tubing, "Stop that!"

"Maura," Jane shook her head. "Look, this? This is nothing. I have a kick ass immune system. Just ask Ma. She'll tell you. I'll be fine in a couple of days." Jane's face scrunched up as she tried to hold back the coughs that shook her whole body. Jane moaned as she closed her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Maura asked worriedly.

"Ugh. I feel like I'm going insane in here," Jane admitted. "They started me on antibiotics, but they keep looking at me like I'm already _dead,_ Maur. Just please tell me there's something I can do. I don't want to… I don't want to _die_." Maura's throat started to burn as she realized just how lost Jane sounded. It killed Maura that she couldn't do anything,

"Jane," Maura sniffled. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Maur," Jane groaned as she saw Maura's expression, "Not you too."

"I'm sorry," Maura apologized again.

"Stop saying you're sorry!" Jane shouted a little more harshly than she intended. Maura's lip trembled and Jane reached up to pull at her hair in frustration. "Maur," she begged softly as she saw Maura's shoulders start to shake, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just that I don't… I don't want you to look like you pity me, because that's just going make things so much harder." Jane let out another breath. "If I had wanted pity, I would have asked to see Ma right away, not you." Maura looked away as tears leaked from her eyes. The more she tried to fight it, the harder her shoulders shook.

"Please don't cry." Jane sat up, placing both hands on the mattress as she tried to push herself up. Jane would have given anything to be able to reach out and gather Maura in her arms. She wanted to hold the young doctor, and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she knew that she couldn't do that in truthfulness.

"I'm so sorry," Maura whispered. "I don't mean to get so emotional, but I just… You're my best friend, Jane. You're my _only_ _real_ friend. You're the only person that understands me, and now I can't even do anything! I'm a doctor for christsake. I'm supposed to be able to fix this, but I…I can't!" A beat. "I can't lose you, Jane," Maura cried emotionally. "Do you understand that? I… I won't have anybody left."

"Maur," Jane sighed. "Hey, Maur, _look_ at me." Maura stubbornly avoided looking at her. "Maura, please! Please look at me!" Maura reluctantly met her eyes.

"That's not true. You're not going to lose me," Jane spoke honestly. "You'll _never_ lose me. Maura, I love you, and my family loves you to death. If… And this is a big _if_. If something happens to me, that's not going to change. You'll have them. I _promise_." Jane cleared her throat, deciding to take another approach. "But none of that will matter, because I'm going to nick this thing in the bud, and I'll be out of here before you know it."

"I want to be able to touch you," Maura confessed finally as she reached out to the edge of the bed.

"I know," Jane replied honestly, "I know. Me too."

"Look," Jane sighed, "I'll talk to the doc and see if there's anything we could arrange." Maura nodded. "Until then… we just have to make the best of it."

"I…I'm so sorry," Jane whispered after they'd endured a long period of silence. Jane's eyes had been closed and Maura honestly thought the brunette had fallen into sleep. But Jane's eyes were now open again.

"For what?" Maura asked.

"I never should have gone to your house," Jane shook her head. "I put you and everyone else at risk. It was stupid. And if I had been thinking, I wouldn't have."

"You thought that everything was fine," Maura said honestly.

"And I desperately wanted to see you," Jane admitted, "But it's no excuse." Jane shook her head.

"Jane," Maura said softly. "Couldn't you just give yourself the benefit of the doubt?"

"This is probably going to sound like a dumb question," Jane swallowed, "But is there a vaccine? Could they still give it to you guys? Maybe that could help you avoid the worst of it."

"In answer to your question, yes, there is a vaccine that has been developed. It was invented by Max Sterne in 1935 and then altered for use in humans in 1954," Maura replied, "But they usually only give it to people that are at high risk, such as military personal, and it has to be given before exposure. Plus, the vaccines are usually given repeatedly, over a 6 month period." Then. "Besides, there isn't a type of vaccine that could address this new type of viral infection." Jane shook her head as she started to fidget again.

"But you don't have any symptoms," Jane stated questioningly. "So that's a good thing, right?"

"It's," Maura sighed. "It's hard to say, but… Anthrax has a long incubation period. Some people are asymptomatic for nearly a week before… before they exhibit symptoms. And some people, once symptomatic, take an immediate turn for the worse."

"UGH! You're…You are _not_ helping, Maur," Jane groaned as she tugged on her hair.

"S-Sorry," Maura laughed. "Umm…. How about we change the subject? There's no sense in dwelling on something that already happened."

"Okay," Jane said slowly, dragging out the word. "You guys have any new leads?"

"Actually," Maura replied apprehensively. "Dr. Parker and I performed several autopsies today on three unidentified young women. All were infected with the same viral infection."

"Damn," Jane exhaled, looking suddenly sick to her stomach. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Maura nodded. "I…I'm sorry, Jane."

"God," Jane said as she lifted her hands to her face. "Those poor girls." Maura was surprised when she heard Jane sniffled audibly. "It… It's stupid really. But I really kind of hoped that I was the only one. I…I couldn't bear the thought that someone else might get sick with this thing." Jane took a moment to compose herself and let her hands fall away.

"I know," Maura replied.

"So you said that you didn't know who any of the girls were?" Jane asked, trying to think like a Detective.

"No. They were dumped outside of a hospital. No IDs," Maura answered. "They looked to be college aged. Maybe a little younger." Jane bit down on her bottom lip, and her eyebrows furrowed, as she looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Have Frost and Korsak look through missing person reports filed at local colleges, in the last four days to a week," Jane said finally. "And get them pictures of the girls in the morgue if you can."

"Of course," Maura replied. "Do you have a theory?"

"Hardly," Jane replied gruffly. Then she let out a sigh and softened her next words. "I just thought… God, this is a sick thought, but I thought that if this guy wanted to experiment on some people… College students are desperate, Maura. They'd do pretty much anything to make a few extra bucks."

"You think that he paid them to be his guinea pigs," Maura finished the thought for Jane. "And then when they got sick and died, he just discarded them like trash."

"Yeah," Jane rasped.

"We need Mancuso to give up his partner," Maura said finally.

"I…I'm sorry," Jane apologized as she shut her eyes. "I'm just so tired…"

"It's okay, Jane," Maura soothed her friend. "You should rest. I'm going to go call Frost and Korsak." She felt a pang of sadness as she said. "I'll be back soon." But Jane was already fast asleep.

* * *

Please don't hate me!

_**A/N: Thoughts?! Please Review!**_

_**(Sorry this story is such a downer...)**_


	10. I Want To Give You All of the Stars

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**I Wanna Give You All of the Stars**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next update!**

**I'm not going to talk it up any, but rather, I'm just going to let you get to it!**

* * *

"How is she?" Frost asked with a definite strain to his voice.

"She's…strong," Maura replied. "She's got a lot of fight left in her, Barry. That I can assure you."

"Yeah," he replied. "Look, doc. I know that you're trying to avoid the question so that you don't have to lie to me, but…could you just be straight with me?"

Maura sighed, closing her eyes. She pressed her back to the wall of the hallway, and prayed her legs would hold her up. Though they felt unbelievably unsteady. She heard voices draw near and then further away. She waited until she was particularly sure she was alone before answering. "She's okay. They managed to get her bleeding under control for now, though her platelet levels are still extremely low. She also has some pulmonary edema."

"In English, doc?" he teased.

"She has fluid in her lungs, inhibiting her breathing," Maura said. "They have her on supplemental oxygen to keep her oxygen levels up. But at some point, that may not be enough."

"Okay…okay," he cleared his throat. "I did not need you to add that last bit. I forget that you can be overly blunt sometimes."

"I'm sorry," Maura apologized, feeling guilty for upsetting him.

"No…no," he replied. "It's my fault," he said a moment later. "I'm the one that asked you to be straight with me," he said with softness to his voice. "Sometimes you gotta be careful what you ask for."

"Barry," Maura said gently. "There's actually another reason that I called. And I'd like to make it quick, so that I can get back to Jane."

"Oh!" Frost sounded surprised by his own oversight, "Of course you did. I…I'm sorry. What is it you need?"

"I performed an autopsy on three unidentified young women with Dr. Parker, the CDC's forensic pathologist," Maura said slowly, giving him ample time to absorb the information. "We have every reason to believe that these women were all infected with this particular viral infection." She paused to take a deep breath. "Jane seems to think that they may have been local college students paid to partake in a medical experiment."

"That makes sense," Frost said a moment later. "Korsak and I will check for college students that have gone missing recently. Can you send pictures?"

"I already did! They should be in your inbox," Maura said proudly. She just hoped that they turned out to be helpful.

"Great," he said. She heard him typing loudly on a keyboard, and he knew he was accessing his email. She heard a couple clicks of his mouse. "Got em'," he said a moment later. "Thanks, Maura."

"It's no problem," she replied in return.

"I'll cross reference the pictures with missing person's cases right away, and get back to you," he said.

"Hey," Maura said before he had the chance to hang up. "One quick question before you go."

"Sure. Shoot."

"Uh… Well, I was just wondering if you had gotten anything else out of Mancuso. I was sort of hoping that he'd agreed to cooperate, and gave up the name of his partner."

"Not yet," Frost said with a grumble. "Korsak is working on him now. I think we're all sort of hopeful. He…Casey appears to be genuinely remorseful."

"He should be," Maura bit out, feeling another surge of anger.

"Whoa!" Frost chuckled. "I still haven't gotten used to the idea you are capable of such anger. I…I seriously thought you were going to rip him limb from limb back in the interrogation room."

"I honestly don't know what has come over me," Maura admitted. "I just…"

"Really care about Jane," Frost finished for her. "Me too, doc." Then. "I'll call you as soon as I know something."

"And I'll call you if I should find out anything else," Maura replied. "Thanks, Barry."

Maura hung up the phone and headed for Jane's room.

* * *

_**(Dream sequence)... Jane's POV.**_

"Jane?!" the familiar cry of her name had Jane whipping around just in time to feel a wooden oar slam into the side of her head with sickening force. The force was enough to splinter the wood at the contact point, and stars exploded behind Jane's eyes as she was sent reeling backwards. She threw out her arms in a vain effort to stop the fall, but was ultimately unsuccessful. Jane's movements were erratic and uncoordinated, due to the fact that her arms and legs weren't listening to her mind's commands. In what seemed like slow motion, the dock came up meet her, or at least, it did in Jane's mind. In reality, Jane's body came down to meet it, her body curling up as gravity pulled her down and her body collided with the dock in a loud thud. Jane let out a groan as she finally hit the hard surface. Out of the corner of her eye, the indistinct blackened silhouette of the perpetrator moved swiftly into her vision before moving out of it once more. In a few strides it was gone, sprinting along the adjacent dock and out of sight. Jane blinked, and this time the dark encroached, it swallowed her vision whole, and stayed for a while before the color came back. When it did, they were all in complete disarray. Jane could not tell one thing from another due to the fact that the colors had no clear border. Jane struggled to make sense of it. She needed to know what was going on. Finally, she reacted. Jane tried to roll over onto her back, but realized too late that she had rolled the wrong way. She was off of the dock and rolled straight into the frigid waters of the bay. Jane plummeted into the water below with a splash.

When Jane hit the ice-cold water, she received one hell of a wake-up call. Her eyes shot open, only to find that her vision was severely distorted by the murky water and the new swirls of color swirling before her eyes. Pupils were dilated, and Jane saw the shimmer of the sun on the surface, before it disappeared with a single blink of her eyes. She tried to swim, to push her way back to the surface, but her efforts were weak and feeble. She sank deeper and deeper into the water, watching as a whole spectrum of color passed before her eyes, from the light almost sky blue of the water at the surface to the darkest navy deep beneath the surface. She fought her way up, thrashing her way back to the surface. She raked in a breath, trying to scream for help. It didn't last long before she was sinking down, her legs and arms breaking down in the cold water. In fact, Jane continued to sink down into the darkness until she couldn't see anything. Her lungs burned like hell, and her mind started to scream and cry out for oxygen, as it received none. Jane fought her body's protests and its urge to breathe. She fought for as longs as she could, but ultimately the need for oxygen won out. Her body reacted as carbon dioxide reached dangerous levels in her lungs and the rest of her body. Coughs wracked through her body and she unwillingly sucked in water through her nose and mouth. She swallowed, and her body's protests became even more violent. Her whole body shook from the cold of the water entering her respiratory passageways.

* * *

As Jane's sleeping form came into sight, she found Jane restlessly thrashing on the bed. There was a certain panic that seized Maura's chest as she saw Jane's labored breaths. She hurried into the decontamination chamber, willing the venting system to move faster. Before long, the light flickered from red to green and she pushed open the door, rushing towards the bed.

"Jane?" Maura called loudly. Jane was coughing violently; her face was contorted in undeniable pain. Maura rushed forwards, pushing the button to incline Jane's head, so that the woman could breathe a little easier. "Jane? Honey, you have to breathe!" Jane's whole body shook, wracked with cough after cough. Before long, Jane's eyes shot open in panic, her mouth opening. Blood trickled past her lips, and Maura grabbed a towel. She hastily lifted the towel to wipe away the blood. Without thinking, Maura grabbed Jane's hand to comfort the frightened brunette, and winced. The tissue was ice cold, under-oxygenated.

Slowly, Jane's coughs subsided, and Jane moaned as she closed her eyes.

"They should have you on something stronger. The antibiotics clearly aren't working," Maura said with annoyance and slight anger. Jane opened her eyes and watched as Maura pulled off the gloves and chucked them into the trash with a little too much vigor.

"From what Dr. Berman told me, they have me on the strongest antibiotic possible," Jane said softly, almost sheepishly. Maura shot her a glare.

"Yeah?" Maura said. "Well, it's not helping, is it? Or was I just imagining the fact that you were struggling to breathe a minute ago?"

"It was the dream," Jane stated. "I just got really worked up over it, and when I opened my eyes I couldn't catch my breath."

"And just what were you dreaming about?" Maura asked. "Drowning?"

Jane rolled her eyes. She didn't have the heart to tell Maura that she was closer than the honey brunette ever realized. She never remembered seeing Maura act this melodramatic before. Jane was about to offer some sort of sarcastic reply, but started coughing again. Maura's forehead creased with worry as she watched Jane shiver.

"Are you cold?" Maura asked.

"A little," Jane swallowed, wincing at the pain in her throat.

"Jane, you're convulsing and your teeth are chattering," Maura stated, her frown deepening as she saw Jane's flushed skin.

"Have I mentioned that I'm too tired to argue with you right now?" Jane groaned and closed her eyes, not able to keep her eyes open to look at her friend.

"You're _never_ too tired to argue about anything," Maura meant in jest. Jane however, couldn't see the humor in Maura's expression.

"What do you want me to say?" Jane inquired. "Not this time. I… I feel like shit." Maura frowned sadly.

Jane immediately regretted her reply when Maura's hand darted to her forehead. The blonde retracted it immediately.

"Jane," she spoke quietly, "Why the hell didn't you say anything? You're burning up!"

"Maur," Jane grumbled, "I'm fine."

"No you're not," Maura hissed, not bothering to hide any of her feelings. "I'm going to get the nurse," Maura announced with a glare at Jane. Jane's eyes wearily blinked open just in time to see the doctor stalk out of the room.

Jane groaned and closed her eyes again, bring up her forearm to block out the light permeating her eyelids. Her head was pounding.

A few minutes passed before Maura came waltzing in with a nurse on her heels. The nurse took Jane's vitals, but Jane was already delirious by that point. Maura cringed as the thermometer beeped, and the nurse relayed to her that Jane's fever was 103.4 degrees Fahrenheit.

It was a good two hours before Jane was lucid again.

"Maur," Jane said as she took in Maura's anxious demeanor. She'd never seen Maura's knees bounce up and down like so before. "You should really take a break. I'm just going to wind up sleeping some more anyways."

"Jane," Maura sighed.

"I'm serious, Maur," Jane said softly. "You're worrying over me too much. And there's _nothing_ to worry about." Maura's response to this was a raised brow. "Dr. Berman said that the number of bacteria in my blood has leveled off. I should start getting better any time now." Then. "It's all going to be fine."

"Jane, I don't…I don't want to leave you," Maura admitted.

"I know," Jane said with a sympathetic smile. "But you need to take care of yourself too." Jane took a wheezing breath. "Besides, Frankie is waiting to come in here to see me. And I'm sure he'll watch over me, and take care of me, while you go get something to eat."

"Okay," Maura conceded. "But I won't be gone long."

"Take your time, Maur," Jane said sternly. "I'm not going anywhere." Maura kissed the top of Jane's head, and departed a minute later.

She couldn't stop back at Jane, while she went through decontamination. She paused in front of Frankie and allowed him to envelope her in a fierce hug, before she continued towards the cafeteria.

* * *

When she arrived at Jane's room a half an hour later, she realized that she was catching the tail end of a conversation between Frankie and his sister. Part of her didn't want to eavesdrop, as she considered it to be extremely rude. But as the first words reached her ears, she realized that she didn't have a chance in hell of turning around and walking back down the hallway.

"You love her," She heard Frankie state. It was no surprise to Maura when this particular statement was only met by silence. "It's okay, Janie. You… You can tell me," he said with utmost sincerity. Maura could feel the love and sympathy in his voice, without needing to see his face.

"It doesn't matter," Jane mumbled, in a barely audible whisper.

"What?" Maura heard Frankie ask.

And she's silently grateful, because she'd missed what Jane had said, too. Maura stopped breathing, as there was suddenly a long pause in the conversation. And Maura was sure that Jane must have shot Frankie a glare in an attempt to forestall the rest of the conversation. But she discovered a moment later that it didn't work, when Jane repeated herself.

"I said that it doesn't matter," Jane spoke again in a scratchy voice. "The way I feel about her doesn't matter."

Maura feels like a knife has been plunged into her chest, and then has been twisted around to incur maximum damage. Then, just as suddenly, she feels anger boil up inside of her.

_How can you say that?_ Maura wants to scream. _How can you possibly say that? God, Jane. _

Thankfully, Frankie must be feeling the same way as Maura is feeling, because he says, "How can you possibly say that?" in an aggravated voice. "It…It matters, Jane. The way you feel _matters_."

"I…I wish I could believe that, Frankie," Jane breathes in an almost defeated tone. "But it doesn't." Maura felt pain and guilt swell inside of her. She couldn't help but feel like some of this was her fault. "She doesn't feel the same way," Jane says softly.

"And how would you know that?" he challenged. "Does she even know how you feel about her?"

"I'd rather not answer that question," Jane admits, "But yes… Maura knows."

Maura's heart breaks as she hears Jane struggling to breathe. "Look," Jane says a moment later, sounding out of breath. "The doctors have been fairly straight with me," Jane clears her throat. Maura wishes that she could see Jane's face. "The antibiotics aren't working." Maura swallows, pain threatening to swallow her whole. "There isn't a whole lot more they can do."

_That's not what she told me_, Maura thinks. But she also feels like a part of her always knew Jane was lying…that the brunette was trying to spare her feelings.

"I might be around for another few days," Jane reveals, "but let's be honest. Things are going downhill fast, and I don't know how much I'm going to be around for… or how much I'll be aware of."

Maura hears a faint rustling. She thinks it is the sound of paper being unfolded, then smoothed over, but she can't be sure.

"What's this?" Frankie asks, as Jane hands something to him.

"Instructions," Jane says in explanation. The tone falls flat.

"For…Christ, Jane," Frankie's voice squeaks. "Instructions for your funeral? Are…are you serious?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" Jane replies.

"Why?" Frankie suddenly sounds as if he's having a hard time holding it together. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Well, I couldn't very well give it to Ma, or Tommy could I?" Jane asks. "Cause let's be honest. Ma would never forgive me for making her think about my funeral…for even a moment. And if I left all of this shit up to Tommy, I'd never be buried."

"Jane," he sniffles a minute later. "I don't…I can't…"

"Shh," Jane soothes, "It's gonna be okay, baby brother. I'm not saying that you're ever gonna have to use it… Just think of it as a precaution." There's a long moment where all Maura hears is sniffling and labored breathing. Then she hears Jane's broken voice say. "Okay?"

"Okay," Frankie whispers a minute later. His voice finally sounds a little more sure of himself.

"I just had to make sure," Jane explains a moment later, "Because…I don't want to be buried at sea, for chrissakes. So please don't let Maura or ma do that to me, okay?" Then. "I don't even want to be buried in the city, either. I...I want to be buried in the country, where I can see all of the stars."

"Of course, Janie," Frankie says.

"After all, that's supposedly where all life came from, isn't it?" Jane says this as if she's pondering the idea. "Or god made them for us. So we could see light from darkness." Maura lifts a hand to her face and sobs.

"I need you to promise me that you won't let Maura do the autopsy," Jane says a heartbeat later. "I don't…" Jane has a hard time getting the words out. "I don't want her to have to see me like that, Frankie. I don't want any of you to see me like that…to remember me like that."

"Okay," Frankie says after a long moment's silence. "I get it…I do. I promise that I'll make sure that someone else does the autopsy."

Maura moves so that she can just make out Jane and Frankie around the corner. Tears continue to flow down her cheeks in a steady torrent.

_Damn Jane for making me cry_, she says as she reaches up to brush away some of her tears.

She watches as Frankie gives Jane's hand a comforting squeeze. She sees Frankie glance down to the paper and look it over for a long minute. Jane just watches with an expression of uncertainty on her face.

Then, as Frankie's eyes reach something on the paper he suddenly starts laughing. Maura feels appalled at his behavior.

"What?!" Jane challenges, shooting him a glare.

"You _CAN_ _NOT_ have a string quartet play Bittersweet Symphony at your funeral," he chokes out between laughs.

"It's my funeral!" Jane hisses. "You don't get to tell me what can or cannot be played at my funeral!" And suddenly Jane and Frankie are laughing so hard, that they start to cry.

"Maura should be glad she doesn't have to deal with these outrageous requests," Frankie teases. Jane's laughter suddenly subsides, and she looks extremely sad.

"I… I love her, Frankie," Jane declares as she meets his eyes. "She's my soul mate. She's the love of my life. But… but I'm not hers. I can't possibly be." Jane closes her eyes for a long moment.

"Jane," she hears Frankie say softly, but Jane cuts back in.

"And that's okay," Jane says quickly. "_Really_. It is." Maura couldn't move as she watched an emotion she couldn't identify flicker across Jane's features. "In fact, the truth is…I'm sorta glad. Because the last thing I want for her is to be sad. I don't want her to mourn me. I just…I just want her to be happy, Frankie. Because she deserves it more than anyone I know… Well, except for maybe Ma…and you."

Maura can't help but think of Jane and her fiery personality, with her relentless, dauntless courage, her unwavering loyalty and her compassion. She thinks of how lucky she is to have gotten the chance to bear witness to Jane's vivacious vibrant life, and how she can't bear the thought that Jane might be gone from this world in the matter of a few days.

_Oh, god_, Maura thinks as she realizes she can't think of her life without Jane in it.

"Frankie," Jane says after a long moment, with all sorts of feelings evident in her voice. "I need to know that Maura will be taken care of." Then. "I know her greatest fear is of being alone. I…I need to _know_. Do you… Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah," Frankie nodded. "Of course." Maura watches him lean towards Jane, holding her gaze. "I know how much Maura means to you, and I think you know that she means a lot to me too," Frankie says sincerely. "She won't ever be alone, Janie," Frankie says. "I swear it."

"Th-Thank you." Maura dies a little inside at the way that Jane's voice breaks on those two words. Maura closes her eyes and just listens.

"I…I know that Maura can be a little much at times," Jane says quietly, and Maura can practically see the way Jane's lips quirk up in a smile. "The fact is, she's bloody brilliant. And well…she umm…she talks _a lot_… " She hears Frankie and Jane both chuckle, and it warms her heart a little. "A lot of it has gone over my head, so I have no doubt that maybe you'll feel like a lot of it is over yours. But…even if you only take in about a tenth of what she's saying, I promise you that you'll be a better person for it…and a better human being," Jane breathes. "Just be patient with her," Jane advises him, "Love her the best that you can, and…. everything will be okay."

And Maura can't hold it together anymore. She pushes herself backwards, reeling. Jane's words continue to echo around her head, ripping her apart. She's never felt agony quite like this before.

_God, she loves Jane. So much._ It feels like it's killing her. _Please don't take her from me. _She begs.

* * *

_**(The next day…) **_

"Checkmate," Jane offered Maura a proud and cheeky smile as she toppled Maura's king piece to the board.

"Again?" Maura grumbled. "You know? I actually like playing with Tommy better. At least with him, I win from time to time." Then, "How did you learn to play chess, Jane?"

"I had a lot of free time in elementary school," Jane replied. "I didn't have a whole lot of friends, as I didn't really fit in. I couldn't bring myself to play with dolls, and the guys were too closed minded to let me play football with them during recess, so I stayed inside and played chess with the librarian."

"You never told me you were bullied in elementary school," Maura frowned.

"To be honest," Jane swallowed, "I'm not sure bullied is the right word. I just felt like I… didn't belong. I grew up with two brothers. I just wanted to stick to what I knew. I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

"There's not," Maura agreed. "Speaking of your brothers. They seemed really upset when I ran into them in the lobby."

"Yeah," Jane replied rather distantly, lost in the memory of seeing him. "Well, I think Frankie is taking it the hardest. I… umm… I still don't really understand why he looks up to me so much, you know? But he always has. I think he just hates being so powerless. At least when I've been in danger before, there has usually been a course of action that could alleviate that somehow. This… This is different." Maura nodded.

"Did you get a chance to talk to Tommy?" Maura asked, knowing that Jane and Tommy didn't get along as well as she did with Frankie, but that they were mending their relationship. They'd gotten much closer over the span of the last year. T.J. had been good at bringing them a lot closer.

"Yeah," Jane nodded. "He stopped by this morning while you were washing up. "He's doing fine. He's been great about keeping ma calm through this whole situation, and I'm really grateful." Jane cleared her throat.

"You should know," Jane said finally, sheepishly meeting Maura's eyes. "I gave Frankie permission to…you know… umm," Jane's voice trailed off as she looked away.

"What, Jane?" Maura's brow furrowed. "What did you tell him?"

"That I wanted him to take care of you if I… I don't make it out of this alive," Jane swallowed. She choked on the saliva in her throat and hunched over, her shoulders wracking with violent coughs. Jane's arm curled over her chest as it physically hurt. She tried to take another breath, only to get pulled into another coughing fit.

"Jane?" Maura jumped up out of her chair, nearly toppling the chessboard. Jane straightened up, and pushed her chair backwards. Jane swallowed, and held up her hands, indicating that she didn't want Maura to come any closer.

Jane said slowly. "I told Frankie that you like him a lot, and that I want him to take good care of you for me. I know how worried you are about not having someone. I have faith that he'll take good care of you."

"Is that what you think?" Maura felt anger swell inside of her, knowing that she was taking it the wrong way. "That I need someone to take care of me? That I can't take care of myself?"

"Maur," Jane groaned, "You know that's not what I…"

"You don't just get to pass me off to someone else!" Maura snapped. "I'm not yours!"

"Wow!…okay," Jane said feeling completely surprised by Maura's hostility. "Forget I said anything about it." Then. "Of course you can take care of yourself. I just…" Jane forced herself to stop talking.

Maura looked as if she were in shock. She didn't expect Jane to appear to sheepish about the whole thing. "Maur," Jane sighed, hoping that she hadn't been out of line, "Look, I…I just want you to be happy. Okay? That's…That's all I've ever wanted. And I just wanted you to know that if being with Frankie is what makes you happy, then I want you to know I'm fine with it. Really."

"Jane," Maura shook her head, "I don't understand."

"You like him," Jane said simply. "And he likes you." Then. "I mean…you guys have been dating for a while. Haven't you?"

"I…I," Maura's face turned red as she forgot to breathe.

"Easy, Maur," Jane cajoled, "You look like you're about to have a apoplexy or something." Jane's eyes twinkled. "I mean, it's not really a big secret is it?" Jane asked softly.

"No," Maura sputtered, taking a deep breath, "Of course not." Maura sighed. "It's just… My relationship with Frankie, isn't really…" Maura let out another sigh of exasperation. "I realized that it isn't really what I want."

"It's not?" Jane's brow furrowed in confusion.

"No," Maura replied.

"Oh," Jane replied softly. "Okay, then. You don't have to." Then. "Of course you don't have to be with him, if you don't want to. I'm sure you'll find someone else…"

"Jane," Maura said sadly. "Would you please just stop talking for a second? I'm trying to tell you something, but you won't let me get in a word edgewise."

"Okay," Jane shut her mouth, and looked away. "Sorry."

Silence built between them for what seemed like an eternity.

"Did you know that it was Plato who gave birth to the notion of soul mates?" Maura blurted out suddenly.

"What?" Jane questioned, feeling completely confused by the sudden outburst. Is this what was so important? She really didn't get Maura, sometimes.

"He believed that people used to have four arms, four legs, two faces," Maura rambled. "And that Zeus, in order to keep them from becoming too prideful, cut them in half, hereby condemning us to search for our other half during our lifetime. And it didn't really distinguish between sexes, either. A man could be another man's soulmate, or a woman could be another woman's, or a man could be a woman's." Jane just listened. Where was this coming from?

"Maur," Jane chuckled, "Where…Where is this coming from?"

"I heard you talking to Frankie," Maura revealed. "Yesterday."

"Oh." Jane choked out. She had no idea of what to say.

"And, Jane? You were wrong," Maura said after it became clear that Jane wasn't going to speak.

"What?" Jane asked.

"You were wrong about me… about us," Maura said intensely.

"Us?" Jane repeated numbly. She'd really hoped Maura wouldn't bring it up. She wasn't sure if she had the energy to have the conversation Maura wanted. "Maur," Jane grated out. "What _about_ us? I don't… I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Maura looked hurt. "Don't play dumb, Jane," Maura hissed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." Jane suddenly groaned, pinching her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

Maura watched, her anxiety swelling, as the fear of rejection nearly swallowed her whole.

"Maur," Jane said calmly as she reached out rub a line up and down Maura's forearm, only to retract it as she realized she wasn't supposed to touch her friend directly.

"What do you want me to say? Because I really don't think there's a whole lot we can do about this situation." Jane swallowed over the irritation in her throat.

Maura looked as if she might break into tears at any given moment.

"I heard you," Maura said with tears in her eyes. Her voice broke as she said. "I heard you tell Frankie that I was the love of your life."

Jane reached up to rub the back of her neck, avoiding Maura's eyes.

"About that…" Jane cleared her throat. "I…"

"Don't you dare try to deny it," Maura threatened, and Jane opened her mouth in order to voice some sort of retort, but Maura didn't let her get that far. "And don't you dare try to take it back, either." This earned a laugh from Jane.

"I…I wasn't going to, Maur," Jane said with a teasing smile. "I was just going to say that you don't have to say anything else. I know that you don't feel the same way. I know that Ian is yours…" _Oh, god, Ian!_ How had Maura forgotten about what she'd told Jane? It seemed like such an eternity ago.

"Jane," Maura looked sad. "That's just it… I was so naïve, then. I didn't know what love was supposed to be." Maura cleared her throat. "I told you that my parents were distant, and that I was always independent growing up. I didn't realize was love was supposed to be." _Until you_. "Ian couldn't possibly be the love of my life. People who love each other don't use each other like that."

"Oh." Jane gasped. Her heart was pounding now. She hoped against hope that meant it was possible for Maura to love her. But again, Jane had no idea how to respond.

"I've had a lot of time to think lately, and I realized that maybe… maybe the love of my life has been under my nose this whole time," Maura said in a thick voice.

"Please," Jane breathed. She didn't know if she was begging for Maura to stop, or if she was begging for Maura to continue.

"I…I know that I hurt you," Maura said a moment later. "I know it hurt to find out that Frankie and I were involved."

"Maur," Jane just shook her head. "It's okay. You don't have t-"

"Yes! I do!" Maura said a little more harshly and emphatically than she intended.

"I was lonely, Jane," Maura said much more softly. "Watching you with Casey, hearing you talk about him for all of those months, just reminded me that I didn't have anyone… For a long time, I watched you drift away, and…even though things didn't work out between the two of you, I still felt that loneliness." Maura looked at Jane when she said. "Frankie is a good man, Jane."

"I know," Jane smiled. "He's a _very_ good man. He's a great brother, and he's a very generous, caring, human being."

"He's always been like a brother to me, but I thought that maybe it was one of those things where you would never know for sure, unless you tried," Maura said. "So when he kissed me, I was surprised that it felt comfortable. Easy." Jane made a face and Maura laughed. "But then…then," Maura stuttered. "You kissed me, and I…" Maura struggled to find the words. "Jane, it…It changed _everything_." Jane noticed how much light was suddenly in Maura's eyes. "You gave me butterflies, Jane. Hell, you made me feel like I'd never been kissed before." Maura smiled. "Jane," she whispered. "You're the love of…"

"Don't, okay? Just _don't_." Jane pleaded in a broken voice. Before slamming her hands over her ears. Maura kept trying to say the words, but Jane kept repeating the gesture until Maura gave up.

"Why are you doing this?" Maura asked finally. "Why is it okay for you to tell me how you feel, but it's not okay for me to do the same?" Maura challenged. "God, Jane, being friends with you these last few years has changed my life. I know it's always been a friendship, but I also know that it was about so much more than that. The fact is, I've never felt so complete. I've never felt as safe as I do when I'm with you. I love you and how you can make me feel like the most treasured person in the world. I can't even begin to imagine myself with anyone else. And I can't imagine my life without you."

"Maur," Maura expected the brunette to look ecstatic at Maura's confession, but instead Jane just looked sad.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Maura asked. "Jane, I lo…"

"Stop!" Jane shouted harshly. "Stop saying it. You don't know what you're saying! So just…. forget about it, okay? You can't _love_ me…"

"You make it sound like I can help it, Jane," Maura said angrily. "I can't help how I feel just as surely as you can't help how you feel about me." Then. "It's your fault!" Maura shouted. "So if you want to be angry, then be angry at yourself! I was fine! I was perfectly fine before you kissed me! And now I can't stop feeling this way!"

"You have to!" Jane shot back, as she stood up and whirled around, leaving Maura to stare at her back. "Okay? Because the fact is, that I'm going to _die_, Maur. You _do_ _get_ _that,_ right? Don't you!?"

"You don't know that!" Maura retorted.

"Yes. I do!" Jane hissed. "I'm not stupid. There's a 85% mortality rate, Maura. It doesn't get much worse than that!"

"Sure, the odds aren't great," Maura admitted, "But you're strong, Jane. What happened to fighting? What happened to your promises?"

"I just…" Jane slowly turned as she heard Maura's voice break. "I just don't want to make this even harder on you. I don't want to give you false hope and then… and then…" Jane quickly strode over to the quavering honey blonde, gathering her in her arms. Deciding to forsake the rules. Maura held onto Jane with a vice grip. "God, why am I such an ass?" Jane whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jane squeezed her eyes shut.

"Tell me what to do," Jane pleaded a moment later, as Maura's shoulders quacked relentlessly. "I love you, Maura. You know that. But I don't want you to mourn me. I don't want you to be sad. I was never good enough for you, anyways."

"Jane," Maura sounded sad. "That's just it… I've had a lot of time to think, and I realized that maybe… there was never going to be a good time for us to figure this out. There's always something in the way of us being together. Jane, I want _you_. I want to be w-" Jane flinched away from her and Maura's heart broke all over again.

"I just don't understand why we can't try," Maura choked out between hiccoughs. "Why we can't be together…even if it's just for a day…for an hour. Don't you think we deserve to be together?"

Jane opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a rap on the glass. Both pairs of eyes swiveled over towards where Dr. Parker was anxiously looking on. Both women noted, that he had company.

"Isn't that…?"

"Agent Rodgers," Jane finished for her. "Yeah," Jane nodded. "They must have something pertaining to our case." Jane took a deep breath. "I hate to do this to you, but… can we… can we finish this conversation later?"

"Sure," Maura replied. "Just as you realize that you can hide from this forever, Jane."

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, so I know that the ending probably made you want to tear your hair out, but this chapter got to be over 6,000 words, and I had to end it somewhere! **_

**Please review and let me know what you think?** Is this story progressing in the way you'd like it to?

Also, I sorta have some bad news for you guys. I'm uh... I'm going hiking over the next three days and will be away from civilization, so I won't be able to update. It also means that if I get eaten by a bear or a coyote or something, you might have to wait awhile (until this story is found on my computer) to get your ending. But that won't happen, right?! RIGHT?!

*Squeals and runs away*


	11. Time Is Running Out

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Time Is Running Out/Where Do We Go From Here?**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. First of all, I was hiking/camping in the middle of nowhere for close to a week. And then in the last week, I spent four days in the car traveling. Needless to say, I was pretty worn down and exhausted at the end of it, and needed some time to get settled in again. But I promise to make it up to you. I'm posting a nice long chapter for you all! I dearly hope that you enjoy it!**

* * *

**(This picks up right where the last chapter left off...)**

"I'm terribly sorry to intrude on your conversation," Dr. Parker's muffled voice seeps through the glass. "But there's been an important development that I wished to share with the two of you. And I wanted to pass along this information as soon as possible."

"Go ahead," Jane urges, as she tentatively took a step forwards. She could feel wires tug at every inch of her. The countless leads, tugged at the skin of her chest, and stomach. A painful sting of her hand, served to remind her she was still hooked up to an I.V. Jane grew increasingly frustrated. She felt as though inanimate tubes and wires were constantly restraining her. Even when she wasn't in bed she felt like she was being pulled in several directions at once. Her freedom to move around the room was an illusion.

She also hated feeling so completely exposed standing there in nothing more than a hospital gown. The material gaped open in the back, leaving cold hospital air, to lick at her back and shoulders. It also didn't cover much of her legs, as it left off just above her knees.

Jane tried to take another step, but was pulled backwards as the cords tugged at her body.

Jane let out a growl, and started tugging at cords that had tangled around her limbs and body.

She heard a monotonous flat line, as she tugged a connection leading to the leads on her chest and stomach free. She tossed it to the ground angrily, her eyes flashing as she saw the accusatory way in which three sets of eyes became fixedly pointed at her.

"Jane!" Maura gasped as she stepped forwards, trying to retrieve the connection from the floor so that she could hook Jane back up to the monitor.

"Maur, stop!" Jane said sternly as she held up her hands. "I'm not going to suddenly drop dead. I can go without the heart monitor for a couple of minutes." Maura forced herself to bite her tongue, though she wanted to chastise Jane for her stubbornness. "If you really want to help, why don't you help by silencing that stupid thing!"

"Damn it, Jane!" Maura said feeling a flash of anger. "Do you realize how childish you're being right now?!"

"Don't you dare look at me like that!" Jane hissed at the three of them. "I'm sick of feeling like I'm being pulled in eight different directions at once! I'm not dying! Not yet! I can still stand on my feet for a couple of minutes!"

"Jane! Please," Maura pleaded with desperation as she saw Jane's fingers tighten around the clear tubing that carried undiluted oxygen to Jane's nasal passageways. "Don't!" Jane ignored Maura's pleas as she loosened the cannula from under her chin, and dislodged the tubing from behind her ears. She pulled it away and let it fall to the ground.

Maura felt a surge of anger that was all her own, at Jane's carelessness. But Jane wasn't done. With a smattering of sound, Jane wrenched at the Velcro securing the blood pressure cuff around her left arm, and pulled the material free. She tossed it away. She was finally feeling like she was free to move around like a normal human being.

Jane let out a sigh, and took a step forwards. She reached behind her for the I.V. pole and dragged it behind her as she walked towards the periphery of the room, where Dr. Parker and Agent Rodgers were waiting.

Her legs felt a bit unsteady underneath her, but she was still strong enough to stand for several minutes at a time.

Hastily, Maura wiped at several tears that had seeped from her eyes at her own increasing frustration and followed.

"What is it you wanted to share with us?" Jane asked in a deep rasp. Maura tried to ignore the fact that Jane sounded extremely out of breath, as she spoke.

"When Dr. Isles and I completed the autopsies on those three identified young women, we ordered as many tests as we could, and put a rush on all of them, given the importance of the results to this case." He took a breath, offered Maura a grateful smile, and then continued. "I'm pleased to say that we've gotten some of the results back. And it paid off."

"What did you find?" Maura asked.

"Well, do you want the good news or bad news first?" he asked.

Maura and Jane looked at eachother for a long moment then answered at the same time.

"Good first, then bad." "Give us the good news."

"We think we found patient zero," he replied. "Which is extremely good news because it means that there might not be other victims out there." Then. "We matched two of the DNA samples from the test tubes in the shed, to our victims, one was much more foregone than the other. But they both shared the same fate."

"What do you mean by that?" Jane asked.

"Well, that's the bad news," Dr. Parker revealed. "The illness acts quickly. I'm sure that Dr. Isles told you that there were several baseline symptoms present in all three young women. The illness is progressive. All three showed signs of massive hemorrhaging, pulmonary edema, which causes massive scarring to the lungs, and eventual asphyxiation, and finally inflammation of lining in the body's major organs. Here's where it gets interesting." He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Some symptoms were present in one of the victims that weren't present in the others. I…I was completely baffled by this, and so I studied how the virus behaved in different individuals. I used blood samples from five different people, and watched how the virus behaved…"

"And what did you find?" Jane said impatiently.

"It behaved differently in all five people," he said, looking stunned. Maura gasped, and Jane knew it couldn't be good. "I… You have to understand, Detective Rizzoli. In all my years as a doc, I have never seen anything like this. If this got out…it could be a global pandemic that kills a lot of people. It… would be very difficult to treat, not only because it's a viral infection, but also because it _mutates_. You couldn't just mass produce a vaccine, and call it good."

"You can't cure it, can you?" Maura said after a long period of silence. "You…can't _stop_ it."

"No."

_I'm gonna die_, Jane thought a moment later. And she knew that was what was going through Maura's mind too.

"What do we do?" Jane asked after she finally came back to the task at hand.

"Jane," Maura's voice was thick with emotion as she grabbed Jane's hand.

"No," Jane shook her head. "I'm not talking about me. It's…_obvious_ that it's just _not about me_ anymore. We have to find a way to stop it." Jane turned to Maura and then to Dr. Parker. "You have to find a way to stop it. You…. The two of you are brilliant! You get that, right? I mean geez. If… If anyone can stop it, it's you two."

"All hope is not lost, Detective," Dr. Parker spoke a heartbeat later. "Not for you, and not for everyone else. There's still a chance. And you had better believe that we're going to do everything we can to stop a pandemic from happening."

_Ehm…Ehm…Ehm… _

The sound of a throat clearing had Jane, Maura, and Dr. Parker turning to a fourth man.

"I have some other news," Agent Rodgers revealed. "Mancuso, when presented with this new information, offered to give up his partner."

Jane's heart lurched in her chest.

_Thank god_, she thought. _Maybe we really do have a chance._

"Who is going to do the interview?" Jane asked.

"Well, Frost and Korsak insist on being in on it, as does every other agency involved," Donavan replied. "From what I understand you've worked with FBI agent Gabriel Dean in the past?"

"What's it to you?" Jane questioned as she crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive posture. This didn't go unnoticed by Agent Rodgers.

"I take it you were involved with him," he said with a half smile. "I've heard rumors… And well, Gabriel's insistence at being involved, pointed to a personal stake in the matter."

"I don't want him in on the interview," Jane said finally, "But somehow, I have a feeling that my objections toward his involvement are irrelevant."

"I want to be involved, too!" Maura blurted out suddenly, causing Jane and Dr. Parker to jump.

"What?!" Jane's voice squeaked.

"I'm a doctor," Maura stated. "And I might be able to appeal to his better nature."

"Maur," Jane sighed, her wheezing breaths growing louder as she struggled with her own unease. "If our roles were reversed, I might feel the same way…but you're too emotionally involved."

"I am a woman of _science_, Jane," Maura stated a little more emphatically than she intended. "I believe that I can remain objective about the matter."

"I'll have to think about it," Agent Rodgers stated, "But I'll let you know as soon as I make a decision." Then. "We're still working on tracking him down. Then, you can rest assured that we'll bring him in and try and break him as soon as possible."

"Can I ask his name?" Jane husked, her voice breathy and deep.

"Dr. Cian Keaton," Agent Rodgers answered. "Worked at Fort Detrick for a year and a half before he was let go."

"And why was he let go?"

"Psych profile said that he was beginning to have grandiose visions of himself as a scientist," Agent Rodgers revealed. "Another employee caught him tampering with some of the pathogens that were stored there, as part of another project. One outside of the purview of his own experiment."

"So even then he wanted to get his hands on things he shouldn't be messing with," Jane stated. "So when he came across a jaded Casey Mancuso, Casey was the perfect means to getting his hands on whatever it was that he wanted, without being implicated directly."

"Sounds about right," Agent Rodgers replied.

"You can't tell me that Casey actually fell for his act," Jane said a moment later. "Sounds like this Cian fancied himself a savior of some sort."

"He's got all of the classic signs of a narcissist," Maura said a moment later. "Of course I can't accurately say this without looking at his psych evaluation, but if I had to guess…"

"Wait a minute!" Jane interrupted with a hollow laugh. "Did I just hear you say the words If I had to guess…in a sentence?"

"Stop making fun, Jane!" Maura snapped back, but a smile slipped onto her lips. "I'm being serious."

"No…I'm being serious!" Jane raised her hand to her forehead. "Did that actually just happen? Or am I just delirious from fever?"

"Shut up!" Maura retorted.

"Yep. It's official," Jane, declared, "I'm completely delirious." Two sets of intrigued eyes took in the scene before them.

Jane gasped as suddenly the room lurched before her eyes. One minute she was looking at Maura, laughing so hard her chest hurt, and then the next, her field of vision turned to blackness, and her knees gave out.

"Jane!" Maura screamed, her arms locking under Jane's arms, as Jane nearly plummeted to the floor. Maura barely managed to catch her. "Jane!"

"Whoa," Jane gasped as her eyes fluttered open, Maura's fingers darted to Jane's neck. "I… What the hell just happened? Oh, god, I…I don't feel so hot."

"I don't know," Maura said as she lifted Jane into her arms, in a surprising burst of strength, and quickly moved over towards the bed. Dr. Parker was already making his way through decontamination to help.

Maura deposited Jane on the bed, and quickly set about hooking Jane up to all of the equipment that Jane had so selfishly pulled off of her own body.

"Maur?" Jane sounded choked up. "I…I'm scared."

"I know," Maura whispered, as she hooked Jane back up to the heart monitor.

Dr. Parker came rushing over. He checked Jane's vitals. As Jane's eyes fluttered closed, Dr. Parker took Maura aside.

"I…I think it would be sensible to hook Jane up to an EEG as well, in order to monitor her brain function given what just happened," he said in a hushed voice. Maura's lips thinned out into a straight line, given the recommendation. "Maura, a very real concern of mine is that Jane could develop a brain hemorrhage given what we saw in our three unidentified young women."

"I think you're right and would fully support that course of action," Maura replied with a nod. "Now if you'll excuse me," she said as she brushed past him and walked over to Jane. She perched herself on the edge of Jane's bed and reached out to brush several damp strands of hair from Jane's forehead. Maura's forehead furrowed as she struggled to keep all of her thoughts and emotions in check.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much. But god, it scares the hell out of me. I don't want to lose you, Jane. I could spend an eternity loving you and it wouldn't be enough." Then. "I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. It's eating me up inside. If…If only I'd recognized my feelings sooner." Jane eyes fluttered open and met Maura's eyes, looking reluctant. Carefully, Jane searched her eyes for something. After what seemed like a innumerable number of seconds, Jane must have found it, because she spoke.

"Okay," Jane finally breathed. "Okay. If you still want to give things between us a try," Jane said softly, "Then I would be honored if you would be my girlfriend, Maur." Maura let out something between a laugh and a sob. Then wrapped her arms around Jane and buried her face in the juncture between Jane's neck and shoulder.

"I love you so much, Maur," Jane punctuated the statement with a kiss to the top of Maura's head. "And I think you're right. Even if I'm with you for a small amount of time, it's still better than never being with you at all."

Maura pulled away slightly. Her eyes were still misting a little, but a smile was on her lips.

"I want to kiss you," Jane said finally. Maura took one of Jane's hands in her own and lifted it to her lips, she gave it a squeeze, then punctuated the gesture with a soft lingering kiss to Jane's curled hand. She let her lips, rest against the skin of Jane's knuckles, relishing the sensation. What she wouldn't give to paint every inch of Jane's skin with such kisses, but for now, this would have to do.

"Soon," Maura said with a glint of hope in her eyes. "Once this whole ordeal is over there will be plenty of time for kissing." Jane smiled, thinking of all of the good moments that they could have. "Though every moment that passes between now and then is going to seem to last forever."

"You that eager to kiss me, Maura?" Jane teased, bursting into laughter when Maura swatted at her arm.

Soon enough, however, laughing turned into another coughing fit. Jane pressed her hand to her chest as each cough felt like it was ripping her chest apart. Maura could see the agony on Jane's face, and it nearly killed her. Finally, after coughs eased to a wheezing, Maura started to breathe again.

"God, it hurts," Jane admitted.

"I know," Maura sympathized. Jane's eyes fluttered closed.

"Are you ever going to be able to forgive me?" Jane wondered breathlessly.

"For what?" Maura questioned. "Jane, it's okay…you can tell me."

"For leaving you," Jane said as her shoulders shook. "I know how much it has hurt you, when the people in your life that you loved, left you. Your mom. Your dad. Ian."

"Jane," Maura's voice was thick, as she struggled not to cry.

"I just want you to know," Jane swallowed. "That I would never ever leave you. Not _willingly_. Just not _ever_."

"Shh," Maura said softly. "I know, Jane." Maura said as she wiped away a tear from Jane's face. "I know, love."

"I don't want to leave you alone," Jane said through sobs. Those sobs quickly turned to gasps as Jane struggled for oxygen. Even with the cannula feeding her with oxygen she still wasn't getting enough air. Mainly, because she was breathing through her mouth and not through her nose.

"Jane," Maura whispered. "Please, you have to calm down. You have to breathe."

"It's not…It's not fair," Jane's lips were turning blue, and Jane was gasping violently. Her chest feebly moving up and down. Maura did the only thing she could think of to calm Jane, to quiet her. Jane's eyes opened wide as she felt Maura darted forwards and she she felt the doctor's lips brush her own. Noses brushed together as Maura made one gentle pass, and then another. Jane moaned as she felt Maura's hand tangle in her hair. Jane's lips parted even more as she continued to gasp for air. Then she felt something even more mesmerizing. She felt Maura's breath, fill her lungs. Maura was purposely breathing air into Jane's lungs, giving Jane the oxygen that she so desperately needed. As soon as she regained her thoughts, she gently pulled away.

"What are you…doing?" Jane rasped. "Don't you realize how dangerous it is to touch me at all? Now you just kissed me."

Maura knew that Jane was afraid of something happening. "It's okay," she reassured her. "Jane, it's okay. I know that we're into uncharted territory with this being a viral infection, but I made a choice. Your lips were turning blue. You needed oxygen."

"You're gonna try to save me, aren't you?" Jane asked as she met and held Maura's eyes.

"No," Maura shook her head, with a hint of mischievousness in her eyes. "I'm not just going to try, Jane, I'm going to succeed."

Jane whispered as her eyes fluttered closed, "I just hope you remain realistic about this whole thing."

"Why would I do anything else?" Maura asked. Jane eyes opened again. Maura could tell Jane was fighting sleep. "Don't fight it, Jane," Maura said softly. "You need rest." Jane just shook her head.

"I'm serious, Jane," Maura said sternly. "Your body needs it."

"I…I'm…." Maura could see that Jane was scared.

"I'll be right here. I promise." Maura assured her. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Maura promised. Jane nodded and closed her eyes.

* * *

When Jane opened her eyes a couple of hours later, Maura could tell something was wrong. Jane groaned softly and reached up, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and forefinger as if to alleviate the pressure behind her eyes. Then suddenly, Jane hissed, reflexively grabbing her head with both of her hands.

"Jane?" Maura leant forwards observing the way that Jane's forehead was scrunched up in certain pain. "What's wrong?"

"Make it stop," Jane groaned.

"Make what stop?" Maura asked as she jumped up from her chair. She noted Jane's posture. All signs indicated Jane had a bad headache. "You have a bad headache?" Maura asked with a quavering voice.

"Yeah," Jane grumbled, "This fricken headache is kicking my ass. Feels like someone dropped an anvil on my head."

Maura swallowed, feeling like an obstruction had lodged itself in her throat.

Maura pulled out the pen light she always carried with her and pulled back one of Jane's eyelids, shining the light in Jane's eyes, checking her pupil reactivity. Jane recoiled and screwed both of her eyelids shut, hissing at the pain that rippled through her skull at the intrusion of light. She was still seeing stars, even behind her closed lids.

"I tell you that I have a headache and so naturally the first thing you think to do is shine a blasted light in my eyes?" Jane said sarcastically.

"I was trying to check your pupil reactivity!" Maura defended. "To make sure you don't have an intracranial hemorrhage."

"Gee, thanks, doc."

"So will you stop being such a baby, and try and meet me halfway?"

"Fine!" Jane mumbled as she opened her eyes, then hissed again in pain. She battled the urge to close her eyes as Maura carefully shined the light in each of Jane's pupils.

She lifted a finger up in front of Jane's nose. "Okay," Maura instructed, "I need you to follow my finger with your eyes." Jane finally relented and humored her best friend.

"Jane," Maura tried speaking calmly, though her heart was suddenly racing, "Can you touch your chin to your sternum?" Jane was able to carefully touch her chin to her sternum, but not without groaning again in considerable pain.

"Maur," Jane groused, "Is this really necessary? My head _really_ hurts…".

Maura didn't look pleased when she was finished. "Hey," Jane said finally trying to get Maura's attention. "What's the official verdict? Is something wrong with me?"

"I…" Maura let out a weary sigh, "I can't say." Then. "I need to go talk with Dr. Berman."

"Maur," Jane swallowed nervously, "You're really freaking me out here."

"It's just that with your pupil reactivity and your symptoms, I think you have an subdural hematoma." Maura swallowed.

"In English?" Jane teased.

"You're bleeding into your brain," Maura said simply. "It's possible it might be meningitis. But we won't know for sure unless we do a spinal tap."

"Oh," Jane said with a hollow laugh. "Is that all?"

"Jane," Maura spoke softly, sympathetically. "Like I said before. I can't be sure." Suddenly desperate to make calm Jane down, she spoke reassuringly. "I should have never said anything. Because it could very well be nothing...nothing at all. And I never have put stock in guessing. I'm getting way ahead of myself. I'm just going to go talk with Dr. Berman, and I'll be right back." She brushed several errant strands behind Jane's ear, freezing as her fingertips encountered something uncharacteristically moist. When she saw the red on her fingers, her heart stopped.

'_This isn't happening_,' Maura thought silently.

"Maur," Jane's voice finally cut through Maura's paralyzing fear. "Maur, I thought you were leaving. Why haven't you moved?" It occurred to Maura, given the look on Jane's face, that it wasn't the first time the brunette had spoken her name.

"I…" Maura stopped, no longer trusting her voice. She simply took a deep breath and held her fingers out to Jane for inspection. "Your ear is bleeding." Jane stared at the blood on Maura's fingers, her expression and eyes disbelieving. Almost reflexively, Jane's hand darted to her right ear. When her hand came away, her middle finger came away red.

"Christ," Jane rasped. "What's happening to me? Does this even happen to normal people?"

"We need help in here!" Maura's tremulous voice filled the room after a beep. A moment later, Dr. Berman, and a nurse came rushing in. Maura quickly explained everything as calmly as she possibly could. Jane still noticed, however, the way Maura's hands were shaking.

"You could be right, it might very well be meningitis," Dr. Berman said softly. "It's caused by an infection, and in this case it's possible that the bacteria has crossed the blood/brain barrier and is in your cerebral spinal fluid. It could be potentially life threatening, more so than the fluid in your lungs anyway. "I think we're going to have to do a spinal tap."

"Jane," Maura whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," Jane replied with a dismal attempt at a smile. "Just do whatever you have to. I'll be fine."

"I…I'll be here the whole time," Maura said with a squeeze of Jane's hand. "I promise. I'm not leaving." Jane nodded and closed her eyes.

"In the mean time," the nurse said helpfully, "I'll get you something substantial for the pain."

Several minutes later, Jane was lying in a procedure room, as Nate carefully, guided the needle into Jane's lower spine. She didn't feel the pain of the needle, because of some local anesthetic, but she could still feel the pressure.

"Jane," Maura tried to use the most comforting tone possible. "Squeeze my hand. It's okay. I can take it." Jane groaned. Her jaw was locked together. Her legs were held tightly against her chest with one arm, while Maura held the other. Jane's knees were tucked under her chin. The cold, crisp air licked at Jane's skin, making her shiver. Her toes and legs tingled as the doctor pushed the needle further into the space between her vertebrae.

"Almost done," a distant voice muttered. Jane squeezed her eyes shut again, mumbling things under her breath. "Just a little longer." Jane felt the pressure at the base of her spine, the unrelenting force that drove the needle further and further into her.

"Jane," Jane's eyes fluttered open to meet the sympathetic gaze of her best friend. "It's okay. You're doing well." She forced a smile. "You doing so well," Maura brushed Jane's cheek gently with her palm. Jane groaned at the soothing gesture, trying to lean into the touch. "I'm so proud of you." Maura breathed. Jane swallowed, trying her best not to cough, as another tickle took up residence in her throat.

"Just a couple of seconds longer," the doctor encouraged. Jane hissed, air leaving her lungs as she felt the pressure of the needle. Finally, just when Jane felt like she couldn't possibly take it a moment longer, the discomfort was lifted. She could feel hands prod at the area around her spine, before a large bandage was placed over it to maintain pressure on the injection site.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Jane saw the massive needle they'd used to extract some cerebral spinal fluid. Jane's eyes widened in shock, no wonder it had hurt. She gasped and closed her eyes, wishing she could just forget this whole ordeal.

"Jane," Maura's voice was hardly above a whisper. "It's okay, love. It's all over."

Jane felt Maura's hands carefully manipulate her own, getting Jane to release her vice-like grip on her legs. "You're okay," she coached gently. "You're okay," she soothed. Gently Maura helped Jane stretch out her legs. Jane moaned as she felt the tightness in them. Her legs were stiff from disuse and her toes tingled uncomfortably. Jane rolled over onto her back, shivering. Maura bent forwards, placing a gentle kiss to Jane's forehead. Only Jane's rasping breaths could be heard through the silence.

A little later Jane was moved back to her room. She had to lay flat for several hours to prevent any complications. Jane slipped in and out of consciousness. Because of the severity of Jane's pain and overall discomfort, the doctors and nurses had her on a lot pain medication. The medications she was given seemed to knock her out cold. Maura found this to be frustrating. She didn't want Jane's last few days to be spent in a state of sedation, and yet, Maura didn't want Jane to suffer either.

Frankie, Tommy, and Angela all stopped by intermittently, trying to get Maura to leave for a short time so that she could clean herself up. However, despite their best efforts, Maura wouldn't budge. She knew how quickly things could deteriorate, especially now that Jane was presenting with symptoms of Meningitis. She couldn't bring herself to sleep either.

She was in the middle of reading an academic journal relating to forensic pathology when Jane started convulsing. Irregular tremors caused Jane's body to seize up and shake uncontrollably. She dropped the journal on the floor out of sheer alarm, and for a long moment remained frozen. Then, just as quickly, she sprang into action. In one step she was hitting the blue button on the back wall. It wasn't a true code, per say, but Maura knew it would be the fastest way to get the doctor and nurse to Jane's room. In a second motion, Maura lowered the bed under Jane's head so that she was lying flat. She grabbed Jane's head between her hands and made sure to keep Jane from choking on her own vomit, or from biting her own tongue.

"Jane!" Maura couldn't stop the panic from taking over. Maura's eyes darted to the EEG, which was going haywire. "No!" Maura breathed. Then just as quickly, her eyes darted over towards where Dr. Berman, was rushing into decontamination. "Hurry!" she implored him.

She knew that seizures were a possibility, given that Jane was hemorrhaging into her brain.

It seemed to take an eternity for Jane to fall still.

The doctor and a contingent of nurses pumped Jane full of medicine.

"Her ICP has skyrocketed," Dr. Berman said as he checked readouts. Maura knew that by ICP, he meant Intracranial Pressure. "We've got to decrease the pressure before she suffers brain damage or slips into a coma."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Maura asked. "Trepanning? Burr holes?"

"We don't have any other choice!" he said. "I'll go prep an OR." Then. "Stay with her," he ordered Moiraine.

"Breathe, Jane," Maura coached as Jane suffered several more massive seizures.

The last time Jane came back to awareness, much to Maura's great relief, her body started to shake, but this time, for a purely different reason. Maura pulled Jane tightly against her body, then, and held her.

"Shh," Maura whispered as she ran her hands soothingly through Jane's hair. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm right here."

"I'm s-sorry," Jane apologized.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," Maura whispered, kissing the top of Jane's head. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura, clinging to the blonde for comfort. "Shh… It's gonna be okay." Maura wished she could believe that.

But the last time Jane slipped into a seizure, and didn't come out of it, Maura started sobbing. She prayed the Burr holes would help relieve the pressure in Jane's brain, and she would get more time with Jane.

* * *

**A/N: Please Review! I will try to update again soon, I promise! Please let me know if you're still with me. I'm always afraid of losing readers as a story continues. It's nice to know if I still have your support!**


	12. Just Breathe

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Just Breathe**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! I sincerely hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_**Flashback Jane's POV (Three weeks ago…)**_

_Jane's unmarked cruiser screeched to a halt in front of headquarters. She chanced a glance at her watch, and cursed. She really hated inner city traffic sometimes. She also hated her alarm clock for not going off this particular morning. She'd jolted awake to the sunlight streaming across her face. And had abruptly rolled out of the wrong side of bed, as soon as she was cognitively aware of her tardiness, Things had seemingly been going wrong for her ever since. She'd immediately decided to forego a shower and scrambled over to her bureau to pull out an outfit for the day._

_Jane glanced into her rearview mirror, checking for any sign of a tow-truck. She had a bad habit of getting her car impounded. But today, she didn't really have a choice. She'd have to leave the car, and go back for it. Jane was about to get out of the car, when her phone started buzzing. Jane clumsily fumbled for her phone and pulled it out of its clip on her belt. She let out a sigh as she noted the name of the caller on the display. It was Maura._

_She still felt guilt over the way that she'd left things with Maura. Part of her wondered if it would really be such an awful thing for her to tell Maura how she felt, or would it be as selfish as she imagined it would be. _

_Jane let out a growl and slammed her hands on the steering wheel as she felt a surge of frustration and anger at her own inability to make a decision. With a pang of regret, Jane silenced the phone, and climbed out of the car, slamming its car door behind her. At a jog, she hustled for the front door. Cavanaugh had called and said that he wanted to meet her in his office, and she was already late._

_But when she reached her desk, she found someone unexpected waiting for her._

"_Dean?" Jane greeted with surprise. "Hey! What are you doing here?"_

"_Hi," he greeted with a smile, "I was hoping that we could talk. Can I have a word?"_

"_Sure," Jane nodded as she slipped off her jacket and draped it over the back of her chair. She could feel Korsak's eyes on her and knew he'd be asking her questions about this later. Jane turned to head towards one of the empty interrogation rooms, but Dean redirected her with a gesture towards Cavanaugh's office. _

"_Cavanaugh said to use his office," Dean spoke softly. As if on cue, Cavanaugh's door opened and her Lieutenant ushered her and the federal agent inside before shutting the door behind them. Jane, suddenly feeling as if she were under intense scrutiny, plopped down in a chair and looked back and forth between the two men._

"_Am I in some sort of trouble or something?" Jane asked nervously as she started wringing her hands._

"_Uh, actually?" Dean cleared his throat. "I'm here to ask you for a favor."_

"_Oh?" Jane looked surprised. "What kind of favor?"_

"_Well," he swallowed, "I recently received a new assignment, and we're looking for someone to go undercover for the bureau, someone who is good under pressure. Due to the lack of females with adequate experience we had to widen our search a little."_

"_And so naturally you thought of me?" Jane joked, laughing nervously at her own joke._

"_Actually," Dean looked a little sheepish. "I did think of you." He looked away, afraid that he was crossing a professional boundary. "You seem to be better at handling pressure and unforeseen complications better than anyone I know."_

"_Okay," Jane spoke slowly, drawing out the vowels. "What's the gig?"_

"_I need you to infiltrate a group that transports drugs and humans across the Mexican border," Dean spoke calmly. "Everything is in the file. I'll give you a chance to look over everything in detail before expecting some sort of commitment."_

"_And you're okay with this?" Jane asked as she turned to meet Cavanaugh's gaze._

"_I'm not exactly thrilled about giving up my best detective for a gig with the feds," her captain replied honestly, "But if you're up for it, then we'll figure something out."_

"_This doesn't exactly have a start and end date, does it?" Jane asked. "So I can expect I'll have to give up my life for a while."_

"_You're correct in your assumption," Dean replied. "Depending on how well you do, you could be undercover for several months, maybe even a year." Jane swallowed and then stood, accepting the file from Dean._

"_Okay," she spoke finally, "I'll give it a look over, and get back to you."_

"_Good," Dean smiled, "If you have any questions, feel free to give me a call." Jane nodded, tucked the folder under her arm, and walked out of the office, leaving the two men inside alone so that they could chat. When she slunk back into the chair behind her desk she could feel Korsak's eyes on her. She looked at him and yelled, "What?" at him rather loudly. That got him to speak what was on his mind. _

_"What was that about?"_

"_Nothing," Jane shrugged, "The FBI wants me to do some sort of undercover work for them. I told them I'd think about it."_

"_What kind of undercover work?" Korsak asked curiously. _

"_It's confidential," Jane replied._

"_Hey," Vince looked hurt, "You should know that you can trust me by now."_

_**Flashback Maura's POV (Three and a half weeks ago…)**_

"_Unfortunately, that's all I got until we get the DNA results back," Maura swallowed nervously. "I told them to put a rush on it, but I'm still waiting."_

"_Alright," Jane nodded, "That mean we're done?"_

"_Actually," Maura looked apprehensive, "I was wondering if you wanted to stick around for a little bit and grab dinner with me after. The meeting shouldn't go long at all." _

"_I… I thought that you said you were having dinner with Frankie tonight," Jane replied. _

"_I did," Maura replied, "But Frankie was asked to cover someone's shift, so I'm free after all."_

_Jane looked at her watch. She almost wished she had a legitimate excuse. It was hard to be together with Maura in a public setting, due to the magnitude of restraint that was necessary to keep from touching her conspicuously, or saying something inappropriate._

"_Tonight's not the best night, Maur," Jane replied. "I uh…. already kind of have plans tonight." Jane fidgeted with her hands. "I figured it wouldn't be a big deal since you were otherwise preoccupied. Sorry." Jane hated herself for lying._

"_Oh," Jane winced at the look of obvious hurt on Maura's face. "Okay. Well… I guess that I'll see you later then?" _

"_Yeah," Jane tried to sound upbeat. "Sure." Jane swallowed thickly as she saw Maura look away. Sighing, Jane stood up quickly and wrapped her arms around the woman, murmuring into her hair. "I know what you're thinking, and it's not the case. Not even close."_

"_What am I supposed to think?" Maura whispered, "You'd rather spend time with someone else, than me."_

"_That's not true," Jane argued. "I asked you if you wanted to get dinner and you told me you were busy. What was I supposed to do? Sit on the couch all night by myself just hoping you'd call?"_

"_Fine," Maura said angrily, pulling away from Jane. She crossed her arms over her chest protectively, as if it would be enough to make it hurt less. Jane had been walking away from her more and more lately. And she had no idea why._

"_Maur," Jane spoke the woman's name softly, pleading with the M.E. to see reason._

"_We're done here," Maura choked out coldly as she turned away. "Have fun on your… whatever the hell it is." Jane let out a defeated sigh and headed for the door, slamming it shut behind her. _

_Jane was growing increasingly frustrated. She could never seem to do right by the medical examiner. For the next three days, they didn't speak. Jane wound up cancelling her date anyways, since she knew it wasn't really what she wanted. The only reason she'd agreed, in the first place, had been to get her mother off her back._

**_Yes, I understand that every life must end, uh-huh  
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, uh-huh  
Oh I'm a lucky woman, to count on both hands the ones I love  
Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none_**

Stay with me...  
Let's just breathe...

Maura was jarred back to the present by a squeeze of Frankie's hand. She shook her head quickly and she blinked a few times, silently wondering how much time had passed. Next her eyes darted to the clock; a breath escaped her lips as she realized the amount of time that had actually passed. It was nearly six hours, since Jane had been rushed into surgery.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this," Angela admitted softly, from Maura's other side. They were the first words the matron had spoken in nearly three hours. Maura gave the woman's hand a squeeze. She could feel the older woman's warm hand in hers as well.

She had to be strong for them. No matter how much that she hurt. No matter how daunting her fear, she had to hold it together.

"It shouldn't be much longer," Maura replied steadfastly. "They have to be careful. Trepanning, as it's called, involves drilling small-bore holes called 'burr' holes through the cranium to relieve intracranial pressure. It relieves pressure on the brain and allows it to resume functioning properly," Maura informed them.

"Maura," Frankie said quietly. "You keep saying that they just had to relieve the pressure in her cranium, but it's…it's been six hours."

"I know that six hours seems like an eternity," Maura said softly. "Believe me. I know. But it's no longer than I would expect it to take." She took a deep breath, and prayed that Angela and Frankie didn't notice how her hands were trembling. "I…I'm sure they would have let us know if there had been any complications," Maura said reassuringly. "Just try and be patient. Be strong for Jane."

As far as Maura was concerned, she wasn't aware that any time had gone by, but that was because she found herself revisiting countless moments, trying to discern when it was that things had changed. But she couldn't deny the truth of it. It had been six hours. And as much as she wanted to reassure Frankie and Angela, she knew that there were all sorts of things that could have gone wrong.

She felt numb. She was trying desperately not to feel the pain that seemed to be ripping her apart bit by bit. Her neck turned, and she saw Dr. Berman and the neurosurgeon walking towards them, their expressions indecipherable. Maura released her hold on Jane's family and stood. Angela and Frankie jumped to their feet as well.

Maura stopped breathing as she watched Dr. Nate Berman, twist his scrub cap in his hands, almost as if he were ringing it out. Maura had sounded sure a minute ago, but all of the sudden, she was overcome with fear. What if Jane hadn't made it? What if they hadn't been able to relieve the pressure in time and Jane was brain dead?

"Maura?" Frankie had suddenly noticed how Maura looked. What was the saying? Green? Maura could never remember. All she knew, is that she felt ill.

"Dr. Isles," Nate nodded to Maura giving her a sympathetic look, "Mrs. Rizzoli." Dr. Berman cleared his throat.

"What happened?" Maura asked quietly, though she wanted to scream. "Something went wrong didn't it?"

"I…er…Yes," Nate replied. "But we got her back. It took a little longer than usual, because we had to vacate a clot. But we were successful in reducing the pressure inside of Jane's skull." He sighed. "We really didn't want to have to open her up, given the fact that Jane is already quite ill and her ability to fight off any infection has already been severely compromised. But…we didn't have a choice."

"And her brain activity?" Maura asked calmly, relieved that Jane was still alive.

"All EEG waves are normal," Dr. Berman smiled. "We think we were able to relieve the pressure before it could cause any long term damage to Jane's brain."

"Oh, thank god!" Angela burst out, before breaking out into relieved sobs. Maura expected that the matron had a lot of pent up emotions.

He cleared his throat, seemingly catching himself. "Of course, we won't know _for_ _sure_, until Jane wakes up."

"When can I see her?" Maura asked softly.

"Well," he looked to the man next to him. "Jane is in recovery now. But as soon as she is moved back to her room, you should be able to see her."

"Thank you, Dr. Berman," Maura said gratefully. "And Dr. Snyder."

"You're welcome," they both offered in return.

Maura jumped slightly felt her phone buzz in her pocket. With agile fingers she pulled it out, and checked the display to find that it was the call she'd been waiting for.

"Excuse me," she said softly to Frankie and Angela. "I have to take this." Maura walked briskly from the room, sliding her finger over the screen to accept the call.

"Dr. Isles," Maura said in as confident a tone as she could muster given the circumstances.

"Maura?" the voice on the other end answered tentatively. "It's Hope. I'm returning your call. My assistant said that it was urgent."

"Yes," Maura replied. "I… I need your help."

"Maura, if this is some attempt to see me…"

"No!" Maura said emphatically, almost angrily. "I'm way beyond that at this point. In fact, I have no desire to see you whatsoever." Maura said honestly. "I gave Cailin my Kidney without asking so much as a single thing in return. And my pride almost prevented me from calling. But Jane needs help. I need help." Maura's voice cracked thickly as she continued. "Jane's dying. The love of my life is dying." Maura squeezed her eyes shut. "And I need help."

"Maura, what happened?" Hope asked, her concern sincere.

"Jane contracted a viral infection," Maura answered. "Many of its symptoms mimic that of the plague, but I've studied Jane's blood and it's different than that. It's almost too complicated to explain over the phone. But I need to find some way to stop the viral infection. I…I've sent you an email with all of the particulars. I was thinking that maybe if we could insert some sort of a fatal defect into its sequencing that it could act as a kill switch."

"How would that help Jane?" Hope asked.

"Well," Maura cleared her throat. "I was thinking back to a conversation I had with Jane about virus manipulation. Jane thought it evil, but I defended it, mainly because I thought about it in terms of curing cervical cancer through injecting someone's body with T-cells of the HPV virus."

"Maura…"

"Sorry," Maura laughed. "I'm getting sidetracked, I know. I'm getting to the point, I promise." Maura took a deep breath. "It's just that I was thinking. What if we removed T-cells of the virus from Jane's blood, and manipulated the RNA coding? We could insert a kill switch, and transfuse them back into Jane's body. The virus would replicate, but after a certain point, would die. And Jane's immune system might be mobilized against an already crippled virus. She might have a chance."

"It sounds like you have most of it figured out already, Maura," Hope replied. "So what do you need me for?"

"I…" Maura cleared her throat. "It's just that my confidence when it comes to manipulating RNA sequencing is sorely lacking. I'd feel a lot better if I had someone to help me. Someone brilliant. And…that's where you come in. We don't have much time." Then, Maura gave into her desperation. "Please, Hope. You know that I wouldn't ask you for anything, if I had any other choice, but I only get one shot at this." The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever. "Please," Maura said thickly as tears brimmed in her eyes and her throat burned.

"Okay." Maura let out the breath she hadn't realized that she was holding. "Where do I need to go?"

**_-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I_**

Maura let out a sigh as she looked towards Jane's slumbering form, then back to the EEG, monitoring Jane's brainwaves. Maura only wished Jane would wake. She supposed that she couldn't believe that all was well until Jane woke up and she could see it for herself. She felt as if she couldn't just take Dr. Berman's word for it.

The news had been good, encouraging even. The swelling had gone down substantially, and the MRI and CT had showed that Jane's brain was still in good shape. From what Maura could tell, Jane's brainwaves were also normal, and that gave her reason for optimism. However, Maura had yet to see Jane's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. And as Maura sat crumpled in a chair next to her, her throat burned with every thought and regret that she knew she might never have the chance to address. She hadn't moved in countless hours, unless you counted a few trips to the bathroom only a few doors down the hall. Maura's hand clung onto Jane's tightly, exploring each line and texture of Jane's palm, including the puckers in the center of each palm. Maura's hands burned with the heat produced between them and she swore that he could feel Jane's pulse racing through her fingertips. She was dying slowly inside every minute that Jane refused to open her eyes for her. She wanted to kiss the woman so badly, and know that Jane could return it.

Her anxious eyes remained transfixed on Jane, as she watched Jane's eyes move beneath her eyelids. White bandages wrapped the periphery of Jane's head. With a pang of sadness, Maura wondered if they'd had to shave Jane's head, or if her wild raven locks had been spared. She busied her own thoughts over the hours with taking readouts from the massive number of tangled wires, monitoring Jane's heart and countless other vital organs that Jane needed to survive.

Maura jumped slightly as she heard a whoosh of air as the door between Jane's room and decontamination was pushed open. Maura turned around to see Jane's partner, Barold Frost.

"How is she?" the detective asked. He looked about as exhausted as she was. His eyes were bloodshot and his expression seemed to say a lot for his feelings. She knew that Frost and Korsak cared just as much as she did, but unfortunately, they had been kept away through the worst of it. And Maura couldn't imagine how that had felt.

"Peaceful," Maura replied without looking away from Jane. "Which is more than I can say for myself," Maura said with a broken voice.

"Maura," Frost spoke her name with a particular warmth to it, trying to sound comforting. "It's going to be all right. Jane, is strong. You said so yourself. You said that she had a lot of fight left in her."

"That was before all of this," Maura whispered as she gestured towards all of the wires leading to and from Jane's body.

"She might be getting worse," Frost admitted, "But the way I see it? Nothing has changed. Jane is still a fighter, and she won't give up without a fight."

"There's still no change," Maura whispered in frustration. "Why won't she wake up?"

"Look, I know it's hard to be optimistic in this case," he replied, trying to be the strong one, "but just try to be patient. Everything will happen in its own time. You'll see." Maura just nodded, her eyes drooping low over her eyes.

"Maura," Frost spoke in a tentative voice, afraid he might say something to upset Maura further, "From what Frankie has told me, you haven't moved from that chair in nearly 20 hours… Maybe. Maybe you should think about going to get something to eat. Or finding somewhere to lay down for a while." He watched her carefully as he spoke. "I think there's a lounge with a couch just a little ways down the hall."

"No," Maura replied gruffly as she ran her hand over her delicate porcelain features. "I'm fine here."

"Dr. Isles," Frost tried again, "No one's going to think you weak for taking a minute to clean up, or for getting a little bit of sleep."

"I said I'm fine! So will you just leave it alone? Please?" Maura spoke losing her patience. "I'm not leaving."

"Okay," Frost replied softly. "Okay," he sighed, resigning himself to defeat. It was time to try something else. "How about I run and get you some coffee? Would you like that?"

"That would be nice, Barry," Maura spoke graciously, "Thank you."

"No problem," he smiled, standing up, "I'll be right back." Maura watched Frost disappear from the room with detached interest. In seconds, her focus was back on Jane. She silently willed Jane to wake up.

Within minutes, Frost was walking back into the room with an oversized coffee and a brown bag. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to Maura.

Maura released Jane's hand in order to accept a coffee from Barry.

"I made it just the way you like," Barry said softly. He cleared his throat. "I also grabbed you a blueberry scone. I thought you might be hungry."

"Thank you," Maura said softly. "That's extremely kind of you." She offered him a warm smile as she took the bag, and set about opening it. She broke off a piece and lifted it to her mouth.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here," he said after a long moment of silence.

"I wasn't going to rush it," Maura said between bites. "I figured you would tell me eventually."

"Don't get me wrong. I really did come to check on Jane," Frost said softly. "But I figured you would want to know. We were able to identify those three women, based on missing person's reports. Jane was right. They were college students. We're still working out how they were recruited by Dr. Keaton, but we're getting closer to getting their families the answers that they deserve, thanks to you."

"What are their names?" Maura asked.

"Brianna Tate, Sophie Bosco, and Katy Hildeman," Frost listed off.

"How could Dr. Keaton do this?" Maura asked. "He took an oath!"

"You'll have to ask him that when we finally get our hands on him," Frost said.

"There's something you should know," Maura said. "We got some more results back. Dr. Parker didn't think to tell me about it right away, but I thought you should know. Two of the three girls had high levels of antibiotics present in their blood. We think they were given infusions of medications around the clock. It…It wasn't enough to save them, but someone still tried."

"Dr. Keaton?" Frost asked. "Why would he tried to save girls that he intentionally infected?"

"I know it seems strange," Maura replied thoughtfully, "But it fits right in with his hero complex. The man fancies himself a savior."

"How easy would it be to get your hands on intravenous antibiotics?" Frost asked.

"Depends on which outlets that you exhausted," Maura answered, "But I would say it would be fairly difficult." Then. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's hard to remember what started all of this, now isn't it? But it still started with a murder, and that murder still needs to be solved," he replied.

"You look like you have an idea about what might have happened," Maura stated.

"You wouldn't like it," Frost teased. "There are too many hypotheticals."

"Try me," Maura challenged with a mischievous smile.

"Keith Rumsfeld did time for drug distribution and manufacturing," Frost reminded her. "It made no sense that he would have a connection to a house where all sorts of different pathogens were stored." He paused. "But what if his involvement was more of the same. What if he was still dealing in drugs…just not the illegal kind?"

"He supplied the antibiotics!" Maura burst out excitedly. "I hate to admit this, but…it's entirely possible." Then her excitement subsided. There were still too many questions. "But then why was he killed?"

"Maybe he knew too much?" Frost said with a shrug. Frost opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a chiming of his cell phone. Maura watched him check its display.

"Shoot," he muttered. "I'm sorry, Maura, but I have to go." He gave her an apologetic look. "You going to be okay?" he asked before getting up from his chair.

"I'll let you know the answer to that question when she wakes up," Maura breathed before taking Jane's hand again.

Frost quickly departed, leaving Maura in silence once more.

* * *

Maura sat like this for several more hours. She was reading to Jane when alarms started going off around the room. Reflexively, Maura slammed the book shut and jumped up. She rushed over to the monitors. It was the heart monitor. Maura held her breath as she watched the numbers. Contrary to her fears, Jane wasn't coding. Maura watched as Jane's heart rate increased slowly, first from 50 beats per minute up to nearly 70 beats per minute. The numbers were getting higher. For a moment, Maura scarcely allowed herself to hope. But there was little doubt. Jane was coming out of her slumber. The brunette was waking up. Maura rushed back over to the bedside

"Jane," Maura couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice as she spoke the woman's name. She tenderly reached for Jane, brushing her fingertips in a soothing manner across Jane's cheek. Maura watched Jane's eyes. She could see the movement underneath. With one hand she reached down for Jane's hand and squeezed it.

Jane's eyes flickered open. Maura gasped, at the sudden beauty. Then she noticed the confusion. Jane had no idea where she was or why. Jane's eyes were unfocused as they stared at her. Her pupils were dilated.

Maura opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again.

"Jane?" Maura couldn't stop several tears from escaping as Jane let out a moan. "Jane? Love? It's me. You're going to be okay." Jane's mouth worked as if Jane wanted to say something, but all attempts at speaking came out in a jumbled mess.

"M…Maur?" Jane's husky alto had Maura laughing and crying at the same time.

"Hey," Maura breathed softly. "Do you know where you are, Jane?"

"I think so," Jane replied. "Just gimmie a minute. My tongue feels like it's stuck to the roof of my mouth. That, and I'm pretty sure that someone stuffed cotton wool in my ears."

"Oh, thank god," Maura breathed, smiling at Jane. "Your sarcasm is in tact."

"Who says I'm being sarcastic?" Jane said with a look of trained seriousness on her face.

"Oh, god, sweetie," Maura whispered, "You have no idea how happy I am you're still here. I...I thought that I had lost you."

"Nonsense," Jane replied with a squeeze of Maura's hand. "You should know by now, it's going to be awfully difficult to get rid of me," Jane joked.

Jane was back.

* * *

_**A/N: So that's it for now! I made sure to end this chapter on a higher note than the last! I'm happy to say that we're getting closer to the end! Please review and let me know what your thoughts are!**_

_**Thanks for reading! You guys are truly the best! :)**_


	13. Alive Again

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Alive Again**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: First of all, I just thought I'd let you know, i had to edit the last chapter. I made a fairly big mistake with the plot line, and wanted to clarify. Jane has a viral infection, NOT Anthrax. I fixed it, as quickly as I could, but perhaps not quickly enough for all of you. I guess that is what happens when plot-lines get a little too complicated for their own good. (Well, that and my mind works a little too quickly for its own good.) So I apologize if I confused any of you guys. I promise I'll be more careful from here on out.**

**Here's the next chapter! It's full of light hearted fun and games. I thought everyone could use a bit of harmless fun before thing pick up in the next chapter. I sincerely hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Maura had to hold back a laugh as she walked into the room to see a look of utmost concentration on Jane's face as she uttered what Maura could only call nonsense. Then Jane repeated it again.

"Olen kado-kado-ttanut avai-ai-met. Missä ne ovat?" Jane said, and then let out a sigh of frustration. Then her eyes darted to the book in Jane's hand and she understood.

"Finnish for Dummies?" Maura laughed. "Really, Jane?"

"What?!" Jane asked rather defensively. "It's just that I…I was thinking about something you once said. And you're right. I could've used the time that I was on leave, after I was shot, to learn Finnish, or…write a book of poetry or something." Jane groaned. "And so…I was thinking that if I was going to pull through this, that maybe I could learn Finnish." Jane looked at Maura. "I…I just want to feel like I've accomplished something with the time I've been given, you know?"

"Jane," Maura offered Jane a sad smile, as she sat down on the bed, next to Jane, and sidled up to her. She gathered Jane in her arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Sweetie," Maura breathed. "We covered this already. You… You've accomplished a hell of a lot, Jane. Just…Just think about all of the lives that you've touched. Try and think of all of the families that wouldn't have the closure that they need without you. You've sacrificed so much of yourself and have never asked anything in return. In fact, I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't take anything even if it was offered to you."

"I don't want to be forgotten," Jane admitted finally.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jane," Maura said quickly. "First of all, if something happened to you, your family would remember you. BPD would remember you. Second of all, you're not going to die."

"And what about you?"

"Okay. Now you're being utterly ridiculous," Maura snapped. "I'd carry you with me, everywhere. I'd never be without you."

"Okay," Jane cleared her throat, shut her book and set it down on the bedside table. "Enough depressing talk. What's in the bag you carried in?"

"Your Mom told me to bring it," Maura smiled. "She said it was one of your favorite games as a kid." Maura scooted to the edge of the bed, hopped off, and walked over to her bag, pulling out a box.

"Jenga!" Jane laughed. "You're going to play Jenga with me?"

"Sure!" Maura replied with a childish like eagerness. "I thought it would be an excellent hands on study relating gravity and the center of mass."

"Oh. My. God. You are such a geek," Jane said with a laugh.

"But I'm _your_ geek," Maura said pointedly.

"True," Jane smiled. She took a wheezing breath. "And just for the record? I love it when you talk science to me."

"Oh," Maura's eyes lit up. "Well, in that case…."

_**20 minutes later…**_

"SCREECH!" Jane let out a abrupt screech that caused Maura to reflexively jolt. The piece she'd been meticulously removing for the last three minutes, moved a costly two millimeters, causing the top half of the tower to topple over and fall to the table top.

Maura whirled around, fixing Jane with a death glare.

"Jenga!" Jane sing songed in a soft voice, with hands raised excitedly in the air.

"That's cheating and you know it!" Maura said with hands on her hips.

"What?" Jane asked innocently. "We never made any rules about making excited utterances."

"You just screeched like a hawk!" Maura argued. "I'd hardly call that an excited utterance."

"Oh, come on," Jane teased, "Don't be such a sore loser."

"Oh, yeah?! Well, don't be such a five year old!" Maura said with a stern look. "Remind me to never play games with you again."

"Aww, come on," Jane whined, "As if you didn't already know that I'm competitive."

"I'm serious, Jane!" Maura replied.

"Does it mean that you won't play chess with me?" Jane asked, in a pout.

"Maybe," Maura pointed out. "But at least when we play chess, you follow proper etiquette."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Jane replied. "I'll behave next time, I swear."

Jane noticed how Maura looked down at her watch, for the umpteenth time.

"Do you have some other obligation, I should know about?" Jane asked. "That's the fifth time you've looked at your watch in the last twenty minutes."

"There's actually another reason that I came to see you."

"Oh?" Jane replied with a raised brow. "And what would that be?"

"I…I need your blood," Maura said with a flush to her cheeks.

"Have you become a vampire without telling me?" Jane teased.

"No. I…" Jane laughed at the way Maura stuttered nervously. "Hope offered to help me study the virus…to see if there's a way to stop it."

"Oh," Jane swallowed. "Okay. In that case, take all of the blood that you need." Then. "You know that you don't even need to ask.

"Jane," Maura said softly. "Are you sure?"

"Of course!" Jane replied. "If it helps to stop this thing, then do whatever you need."

Maura walked over to the supply cart and pulled out a syringe, some alcohol wipes, some gauze, and a small tourniquet.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to poke you," Maura said as sat down on the bed and pulled Jane's hand into her lap. "It has to be a clean sample."

"I understand, Maur," Jane replied, offering Maura a reassuring smile.

"I don't want to cause you any pain," Maura whispered. "I'm not good with live patients." Jane heard a small snap as Maura pulled on each of the gloves.

"You're not going to hurt me, Maura," Jane said softly. "And, hey! You're great with live patients. After all, you're the one who is always putting me back together, after all the skirmishes that I've been in." Maura tightened the tourniquet around Jane's upper arm, and started searching for a vain. After finding a promising vein, Maura cleaned the site with alcohol, and gave it a minute to dry. She opened the syringe, pulled off the cap, and carefully, and inserted it into the vein. She got a blowback immediately, as blood flowed freely into the needle, and Maura pulled back on the plunger.

Jane looked away, trying to find something else to draw her attention, other than the blood currently flowing out of her body.

A couple of minutes later, Jane felt pressure and looked back to find Maura applying pressure to the puncture wound, with a bit of gauze. The needle was out. Quickly, Maura ripped off a strip of medical tape, and secured the gauze.

"All done?" Jane asked.

"All done," Maura smiled.

"And I didn't feel a thing!" Jane smiled.

"I love you," Maura whispered, as she lifted Jane's hand to her lips and kissed it.

"So I take it that now that you got what you needed, that you have to leave?" Jane asked.

"Yes," Maura answered, "But I'll be back soon. I promise."

"I know," Jane replied. "I…I'll be here." Maura transferred the blood in the syringe to several test tubes. Then put those tubes in a baggie marked with 'Hazardous' stamped across its front. "So you're still determined to save me, huh?"

"What makes you think I'm doing it for you?" Maura teased.

"Haha, very funny, Maur," Jane said with twinkling brown eyes. "Well, maybe you don't even need to worry about it. I'm feeling much better." Maura bit her tongue. She prayed that her fears that this was a fleeting thing, were incorrect. She'd give anything for Jane to be well again!

"Jane," Maura spoke, her tone suddenly serious, "You're still very sick. You may be feeling better, but you're still out of breath. You're body is still fighting." Then. "And I'm going to try and give you the best chance to win your body back."

"Okay. Okay," Jane replied. "Go be the brilliant scientist that we both know you are. I'll be waiting here for you." Maura smiled, giving Jane a kiss to the top of her head, before she quickly departed.

* * *

_Translation: Olen kado-ttanut avaimet. Missä ne ovat._

_I've lost my keys. Where are they?_

_A hundred thousand coolness points go to anyone who can tell me where this is from!_

_**A/N: Sorry it's so short. (Short and sweet as I like to say). I'm already working on the next chapter. But this didn't seem to fit in at all with what follows, and I decided to post it separately. I hope that you enjoy the fluffiness, because things start to come to a close in the next chapter. I expect maybe about five chapters remain. I'm still trying to decide whether there will be a sequel. I guess it depends on what consensus is with you guys. **_

_**Please Review!**_


	14. Don't Give Up

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**Alive Again**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

_**A/N: Two things. 1. You guys are awesome! Your comments make me smile! You guys are so smart, and seem to be inside of my head. I honestly feel like I can never pull a one over on any of you. You guys are calling the plot-lines before the next chapter is even posted.**_

_**2. I challenged you to tell me where the quote, "I've lost my keys. Where are they?" comes from. It's a quote from one of my favorite TV shows comes from. Specifically, it's a quote by Marshall Flinkman from Alias**_

_**I wanted to post this chapter before tomorrow. I'm having surgery tomorrow, so I might be out of it for a few days.**_

_**I meant to have this up on Monday, but this update has taken me a lot longer than I initially planned. The truth is, I'm still not really happy with this chapter. I've edited it, and edited it. And still! I'm not super pleased with it. But maybe that just comes with the territory. **_

_**I feel like this chapter is super depressing. And if I feel this way, then, I'm sure you'll feel this way too. Unfortunately, it can't be helped. This is the direction I've planned on taking this story from the beginning. I can't tell you the direction it is heading in, because...that would sort of negate the purpose of the next four chapters.**_

_**Enough talking. On to the good stuff!**_

* * *

As soon as Maura was out of decontamination and had disappeared around the corner, Jane let out a pained sigh, and sank back against the pillows. Her chest moved up and down in quick successive and shallow breaths. Even lying back against the pillows, Jane's heart was racing.

Jane lifted the back of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. Holding it together and keeping up appearances for Maura's sake had been completely exhausting. Still, she wanted the blonde's memory of her to be as it should be-of Jane laughing and smiling. As she'd heard Maura's laughter, and had seen the way Maura's eyes light up for just a few minutes, Jane had felt more determined than ever to hold it together just long enough.

Now, Maura was gone, and Jane had nothing left to hang on to. She was so tired. Perhaps, more exhausted and drained than Jane had ever felt before. She wished that she could be just a little bit stronger. She just had to close her eyes for a minute. Just for a minute…

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Maura rounded the corner and ran straight into a man in a black suit. The biohazard bag, clutched in her hand fell to the floor and impacted the ground with a sound of rustling plastic.

"I'm so sorry," Maura said as she looked up, meeting the eyes of a man she was beginning to know fairly well. "I was in a hurry to meet with someone, and I didn't look where I was going."

"Dr. Isles?" Donovan Rodgers greeted with a surprised expression. "I was just on my way to see you." He admitted. "Here," he offered as he knelt down to pick up the bag from the floor. "Let me." He didn't do a very job of veiling his surprise as he noticed the orange block writing marking the outsides of the bag. "Smuggling out evidence, are we?" he joked.

Maura's face turned suddenly bright red as she forgot to breathe. "I…Well, I…"

"It's a joke!" the agent burst out suddenly, as he realized the level of her distress. "I was just joking. Of course, you wouldn't be smuggling out the virus. It was a poor joke, I'm afraid." He stammered, feeling guilty. "Please. Forgive me for my poor attempt at humor."

"No. I…" Maura forced herself to stop and take a deep breathe. "Of course, I forgive you. I…I was just going to say that it is Jane's blood. But I have permission from the CDC. I have a friend who is coming. Dr. Hope Martin. She's going to help me come up with a way to stop the virus."

Donavan nodded.

"Agent Rodgers," Maura said a bit tentatively, after an awkward silence elapsed. "You haven't given any more thought as to whether I'll be allowed to sit in on Dr. Keaton's interview, have you? Because, I have to say that I'd still very much like to take part. I'm hoping he'll be able to give us some clues as to how to stop this thing. Or at least a direction to start in."

"That's actually why I was looking for you," Agent Rodgers replied, looking morose. "I…There's no easy way to say this, Dr. Isles. But there won't be an interrogation."

"What?! Why?!" Maura felt anger surge through her veins. "What more evidence do you need that a crime has been committed?"

"No," Donovan Rodgers shook his head. "You misunderstand me." He cleared his throat. "There…won't be an interrogation because Dr. Keaton is dead!"

"Dead?" Maura's legs nearly gave out beneath her.

"Yes," He nodded. "Dr. Parker is performing his autopsy now. But it appears that Dr. Keaton has succumbed to the very same illness that killed all three young women. His death was quick in coming. Dr. Parker's preliminary examination is that he died of hypoxia and massive internal bleeding."

"He's dead," Maura repeated, still in a state of disbelief. "What…What am I supposed to do, now?" Maura asked.

"Well, I suppose, the very same thing you were about to do," Agent Rodgers said softly. "I'm sure you'll find a way."

"I'm afraid you've placed more confidence in me, than I deserve," Maura said modestly.

"Nonsense," Agent Rodgers shook his head. "Jane regards you're abilities quite highly, as do I." He nodded as if to punctuate his statement.

"Well, I…" Maura swallowed, feeling as if the weight on her shoulders was suddenly that much heavier. "I will certainly try." Maura took a deep breath. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really should be going. I need to get to the lab."

"Oh!" he started, quickly handing her the blood samples. "Of course. Keep me posted, Dr. Isles."

"I will," Maura replied, as she continued on her way.

_Don't give up_  
_It's just the weight of the world_  
_When your heart's heavy_  
_I...I will lift it for you_

She was halfway down and adjoining hallway, when her vision lurched in front of her. It had been happening more and more recently. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Maura pressed a hand to the wall for support.

Without meaning to, her eyes darted to her fingertips, searching for blood. Thankfully, there was none. But the way she was starting to feel, left little doubt in her mind. She hadn't escaped Jane's fate. But hopefully there was still time to complete her task before she became incapacitated. Jane's life was counting on it.

_Deep breaths_, Maura coached herself, as she let her hand fall away and resumed walking. _Slow, deep breaths._

Maura combated the urge to cry. She was still in shock. Her biggest hope for resolving this situation was dead. Dead! She hoped at the very least that Dr. Keaton could be able to point her in a direction. Now that hope was lost. She had to rely on instinct, now. She only hoped that it didn't lead her astray.

_Follow your gut_, she could practically hear Jane's voice in her head. In fact, she could hear it so vividly that she jumped slightly as it popped into her head.

"I'm going crazy," Maura whispered to herself as she walked. Maura made a right, and rounded yet another corner.

"Maura!" Maura looked up from the floor to see a very anxious looking Hope Martin, being escorted by an armed officer. She had a guest badge stuck to the front of her blouse.

"Jonathan," Maura greeted the young man as he came to a stop in front of her.

"Ma'am" he nodded respectfully. "I trust that she was telling the truth when she said that she was meeting you?"

"Yes," Maura replied softly. "She was. Thank you, Jonathan."

"Of course, Doctor," he replied politely, "It was my pleasure." He gave Hope a nod, "Have a good day, Ma'am." Hope nodded in return. Jonathan withdrew quickly.

"Thank you for coming," Maura said gratefully. "I didn't expect you to be through security already," Maura admitted.

"You're welcome," Hope replied, clutching her medical bag to her. "It sounded like time is of the essence, so I tried not to dally too much."

"You're right," Maura said calmly. "Time is fast running out. Let's get to the lab."

"I trust that you know the way?" Hope inquired as she noted how Maura looked a little lost in thought.

"Of course," Maura replied, gesturing back the way she had come, "Follow me."

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Within minutes, they were dressed in Tyvek suits, inside of a refrigerated lab on the same floor. She'd gotten special permission from the Executive director of the hospital, who had designated it as a temporary research space.

Maura breathed heavily, inside her suit, as sweat trickled down the side of her face. She felt weak, but forged on, pulling test tubes from the biohazard bag she'd carried with her. Hope stood next to her, at her right elbow. Maura removed the cap from one of the test tubes, and using a small dropper started preparing several slides. With the high-powered electron microscope, she hoped that she could potentially identify the virus. From there, two things could happen. Either the virus would be able to be neatly categorized, or it wouldn't be. The odds of the first scenario were slim, given the fact that there are millions of different types of viruses. Maura expected they wouldn't get lucky enough to have it match up with one of the 5,000 viruses that have been described in detail.

If worst came to worse, and it couldn't be identified, then they would have no other choice, and they would have to set about mapping its genome. This involved first identifying its helix structure.

Hours later, and Maura felt like they weren't much closer to finding answers. They'd identified the structure, size of the virion, and the structure of the helix (single stranded). They were still trying to figure out how the virus was translated and replicated.

"What a nightmare," Maura muttered.

"Yeah," Hope replied. "I think I know why this virus is so lethal. That brilliant doctor caused and antigenic shift without even realizing what he was doing."

"We have to find a way to stop it," Maura said, as she looked at readouts from the computer. "God, this is taking forever. We need a more powerful computer, if we ever want to know what we're dealing with."

"I know you're anxious, but there's not much more we can do," Hope said quietly.

"We don't have time," Maura said as she stumbled sideways. "The 21st base pairing looks suspect to me, so we could try altering the base pair, and seeing if it's enough to kill the virus."

"I suppose we could, or we could try this base pair, here," Hope said, drawing the DNA structure and circling another pairing. "It's all a stab in the dark really."

Maura took in a sharp breath as she felt a stabbing pain seize the back of her head. Her vision blurred and she stumbled as she struggled to hold on to consciousness.

"Maura?!" Hope spoke loudly, as she grabbed Maura by the elbow.

Maura lost it. Blackness took over, and her legs gave out underneath her.

When Maura came to several minutes later, her helmet was off. Hope was wiping at her face with a damp cloth, worry evident in her eyes. Maura blinked, slowly, leaning back against the cabinetry.

"You really had me worried, there," Hope said with sincerity in her eyes.

"I…I'll be okay," Maura managed to try and sound confident.

"Hey," Hope said with a motherly tone. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing…"

"Why don't I believe that?" Hope asked, as she continued her ministrations. "I may have gloves on, Maura, but I can still tell you're running a high fever." Maura groaned.

"I…I might have neglected to tell you that I have the virus too," Maura admitted.

The sharp intake of breath coming from her biological mother, felt like a knife to the chest. She felt guilty for causing the look of pain in those Hazel eyes. The hazel eyes of a mother that she'd once convinced herself never cared one wit for her. Maybe she was wrong. The truth was, that maybe Hope cared for Maura so much that it hurt to think about.

"Code Blue. Room 3347. Code Blue. Room 3347," Maura's mind still felt as if it were in a fog. All sight, sound seemed to come to her slowly. It was distorted, a little sluggish, almost as if each wavelength was passing through fluid before it ever reached her. And it was up to Maura to make sense of all of it. A loud chiming seemed to be on a short repeating circuit. First a higher pitched one, then a lower pitched one. She recognized it from her residency at Mass Gen. Someone was coding nearby. Maura felt a spike of fear.

"What room was that?" Maura asked. "What number?" Hope appeared genuinely worried for Maura's health, both physical and mental.

"What was the last number?" Maura asked a little more urgently, tugging at Hope's sleeve. "3342?"

"3347," Hope corrected Maura.

"Oh, god," Maura whispered as her blood suddenly ran cold, and all color drained from Maura's face. Just as suddenly, Maura was batting Hope's hand away, and was staggering to get up from the floor. Maura cried out as Hope tried to stop her. "Let me up! That's Jane's room!" Hope abruptly shifted from trying to slow Maura's progress, to trying to help her.

"Maura," Hope said as she walked alongside the honey blonde, bearing much of Maura's weight. "You're very sick. You just fainted, for crying out loud. And you can't keep going on as you have, as if you're bearing the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"And what would you have me do?" Maura challenged. "Drop it?" Hope wasn't exactly prepared for the hostility in Maura's voice.

"Maura…"

"I'm sorry," Maura said, a bit out of breath as she unlocked the door using the panel next to the door, then pushed it open. "I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just… This situation is completely hopeless." Maura staggered to a stop, throwing out a hand against the wall as the room swayed. Hope wrapped an arm around Maura's middle to steady her, and keep her from sliding to the floor.

"What else haven't you told me, Maura?" Hope asked.

"Dr. Keaton is dead. He succumbed to the illness that now plagues Jane and I," Maura revealed. "I didn't find out until an hour ago. At the very least, I had hoped he could offer us some insight as to the origin of the virus, or how it could be stopped. But if what Agent Rodgers had to say is any indication, we don't even have that much." Maura gasped, feeling as if she were on the verge of a panic attack. She hadn't had one in _years_.

_Stupid, stupid, Maura_, she chastised herself. _Jane could be dying, and you're standing here lamenting over the hopelessness of the situation?_

"What can I do?" Hope asked earnestly.

"If you care as much about me… about humanity as I think you do, then I'm afraid that I must pass much of this responsibility onto you," Maura said softly. "Jane and I might be beyond saving. But I have confidence that you will be able to remain focused on the objective. Just try and save as many as you can." Maura pushed off of the wall, but before she could take more than a couple of steps, something tugged her backwards.

"Maura," Hope's hand closed around her upper arm, and Maura was tugged backwards. "You're my _daughter_. I can no more remain objective in this matter, than you could when it involved Jane!"

"I didn't think you considered me a daughter of yours," Maura breathed.

"Maura," Hope sighed sadly. "Please."

Maura looked regretful for a moment as she met Hope's twinkling green eyes. But then broke the trance and looked away.

Maura took off down the hall at a brisk pace, her breaths, growing erratic as her lungs failed to keep up with her body. Despite the fact that her heart was racing out of control and her breaths were labored, she sprinted down the long hall, and rounded the corner. She skidded to a stop.

Dr. Berman was inside with another doctor and two nurses. Jane was convulsing uncontrollably. Her first thought was that the craniotomy had failed.

Dr. Berman was calling out frantic orders as he struggled to affix Jane to the bed.

"Ice! Get me ice!" Dr. Berman shouted at the top of his lungs. "NOW!" Maura broke the trance, and rushed over to the intercom, smashing the button down.

"What's going on? What's happening?!" Maura questioned. Her questions went unanswered as the doctors and nurses rushed around the room. "Someone tell me what's happening!" An intern in a long white lab coat rushed over, and answered.

"She's in shock," his intern, Dr. Roberts announced, "She's not responsive. Pupils are dilated."

"What else?" Maura asked. "Why the ice?"

"Her fever has spiked," he replied. "We need to cool her down. Quickly."

"How bad?" the Doctor hardly dared to ask.

"105.4," the intern with square shaped glasses replied.

"Dr. Moralles, push 10mg of Toradol," Dr. Berman ordered.

"But, sir…"

"Do it!" Dr. Berman ordered sternly. "She won't stop convulsing! It's driving up her temperature. And if her temp goes any higher she's as good as dead!" Maura's body was suddenly overtaken in a shiver. Maura's eyes were drawn to a nurse as she rushed in with several large bags of ice. She watched as Dr. Berman started tucking the bags of ice strategically around Jane's body. He placed a bag of ice against each of Jane's axillary regions, then one between her thighs.

"We need to get her into an ice bath!" He ordered.

Maura watched as they bunched around Jane, lifting the blanket underneath the lanky, now-pale woman. They quickly transferred her to the nearby gurney. And rushed for the exit. Maura rushed over to them as soon as they cleared Jane's room, and grabbed Jane's hand. She rushed with the crowd, not willing to leave Jane's side. They rushed Jane into another room.

A shiver ran up Maura's spine as her eyes took in a large metal tub filled with cold water and a couple bags of ice. Maura was forced to let go as several nurses and two doctors lifted Jane into the bath, slowly submerging Jane's limbs, and body. For the first time in minutes, Jane gave a sign of life. She thrashed in the water. The much needed reaction, actually had several of the medical personal letting out a sigh of relief. But Dr. Berman looked far from it. Maura walked over and posted herself at Nate's shoulder.

Jane's body convulsed with the cold, her teeth chattering as she started moaning.

"You look as if you're losing hope," Maura said softly. "And that worries me. Especially, when you've remained optimistic through it all."

"Her oxygen levels have fallen dramatically," the doctor replied as he looked at the monitor. Maura watched without breathing as he stepped forwards and pushed his stethoscope to Jane's chest. "There's too much fluid in her lungs. She can't breathe on her own." Tears threatened to seep from Maura's eyes.

"I need to show you something." Together she and Dr. Berman walked from the room. He led her into Jane's proper room and over to where Jane's x-rays hung. He clicked on the backlight. "This is what Jane's lungs looked like before the symptoms started," he indicated the x-ray on the left. "This is what her lungs look like right now," he said simply, pointing to the x-ray with his pinky. "Her mediastinum is widening. Her lungs are collapsing."

"My god," Maura could no longer keep the tears from falling. "She's dying. She's _actually_ dying." Maura's legs gave out on her. Nate caught her under the arms and called for a nurse to grab a chair. When the nurse arrived, he eased her down into the chair.

"I'm sorry, Dr." Nate said softly. "We're going to keep trying. I promise. But we're going to have to suction out her lungs and put her on a respirator." Then he disappeared. Presumably, he'd gone back to monitor Jane.

"Oh, god," Maura whispered.

For a long minute she just let the tears fall. Then, she prayed for a miracle. She didn't believe in god. Not really. But she believed in science. There had to be a way. Maura pushed herself up from the chair, hoping that she could hold it together just a little longer.

Maura rushed back to where she'd been only a minute before. Jane was moaning, thrashing in the water.

"Jane!" Maura rushed over and knelt next to the tub.

"Maur," Jane groaned, her eyelids fluttering. "Ugh, I can't breathe."

"I know," Maura whispered, "They're going to help with that, but they needed to get your temperature down first."

"I…I'm scared," Jane whispered, hardly daring to admit it.

"I'm right here, Jane," Maura spoke calmly. "It's okay. I'm right here."

"I'm c-cold," Jane whined.

"I know, honey," Maura soothed as she ran her hand through Jane's unruly hair. "It'll be over soon. I promise." Jane managed to hang on for only a couple of minutes until they pulled her out of the ice bath. A steady stream of tears fell from Maura's eyes as she held Jane's hand. The doctor wanted to put Jane under, so that she didn't have to suffer through the pain of having her lungs cleared.

Maura texted Angela frantically, imploring the matron of the Rizzoli family to hurry to Jane's room. She tried to give as many details as possible as they moved Jane back into her room briefly before taking her to a procedure room on the same floor. Countless groans left Jane's lips, as they hooked her up to a number of machines, and started getting things ready.

"Maur," Jane whispered. "I…I don't want to… I…I'm so scared. Please don't let them put me under." Jane could hardly manage the words over her rasps. Maura could see she was fighting for every breath, and was barely getting enough oxygen. Jane's lips were blue, her skin a pale shade of white and blue. The stark contrast to the natural hue of Jane's skin was unnerving.

"I know. I know it's scary," Maura breathed as she ran her hand over Jane's cheek. "I…I'm scared too, Jane, but they have to do this. It's going to help you feel better. I promise." Tears leaked from Jane's eyes and it was Maura's undoing. "I'm going to be right here the whole time, Jane. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. It's going to be all right."

"I…I love you," Jane's grated voice whispered.

"I love you too, Jane," Maura cried, kissing Jane on the lips. Proprieties be damned. If God wasn't going to give her more time with Jane, she would take every moment that she could get. "So much." Maura took a staggering breath as she combatted her emotions. "Jane," Maura choked out, her voice mangling the name slightly, "I need you to promise me something…"

"Anything," Jane replied, holding Maura's eyes.

"Promise that you'll hang on as long as you can," Maura replied. "Give me two days. Do you think you can do that?"

_You are loved_  
_Don't give up_  
_It's just the weight of the world_  
_Don't give up_  
_Every one needs to be heard_  
_You are loved_

"Janie!" Angela's voice carried as she rushed into the room. She turned to the doctor. "Wait just a minute, her brothers are on their way up. They… They want to say something before… before you take her. Just in case…. that…" Angela's voice became indistinctive as sobs took over. Frankie and Tommy literally came sprinting into the room two minutes later. Both were winded.

"Hey, rascals," Jane strained to speak. "You look like you're afraid you were gonna miss the party or somethin."

"Hey, sis," Frankie forced a smiled as he walked over and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "You know how much I love you right?"

"Yeah," Jane tried to tease. "You'd think I was a saint or something," Jane joked as she looked at Maura. Maura swallowed as she thought for just a fraction of a second that she agreed with Frankie. Maybe Jane was a saint. She was so selfless, so compassionate, and protective. She was still determined that her mother and siblings wouldn't see how much pain she was in, nor the fear that she felt at the possibility she was dying.

Tommy seemed to keep a tight hold on his emotions. Maura could see just how hard he was trying to keep his face an imperceptible mask. Maura had seen him break down once already. She wondered how he was coping now. He gave Jane a hug and a kiss, promising her a game of chess when she woke up. As he turned away, however, Maura could see his eyes shimmer with tears.

Jane wasn't stupid. She knew the exchanges for what they really were. It was goodbye. She was getting worse by the hour and soon her body would stop functioning all together.

"Alright," the doctor interjected finally. "It's time. Her pulse ox levels are way too low. We have to do this now." Jane nodded wordlessly. Maura suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe as Jane sheepishly met her eyes.

"Be strong, Jane," Maura whispered with a squeeze of her hand. "We're all going to be here waiting for you."

"I know," Jane nodded. "Catch you on the flip side," Jane choked out with a great effort. Her lips twitched upwards in a smile as the medicines were injected into her I.V. and seconds later, they relaxed as Jane was catapulted in a serene comatose like state.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Maura ushered Jane's family from the room, knowing they had to get her to the procedure room. She followed the doctor and nurses to the procedure room, but could not bring herself to enter. Already, she was breaking a promise to Jane. But she couldn't go in there. Not when it meant that she would be putting everyone else inside that room at risk.

Instead, she watched through the door. She watched as they snaked a tube into Jane's airways, trying to pull out the fluid that was causing Jane to drown in her own lungs. They also used a needle and syringe, to suction out the fluid from Jane's pleural cavity.

"Maura?" Maura turned around and let out a sigh. Hope was standing there, looking as if she was hardly holding it together, herself.

"She's in there," Maura indicated with a flick of her head through the window. "They're suctioning out her lungs as we speak. Then they're going to put her on a respirator, and will likely keep her in a comatose state."

"I'm so sorry," Hope said earnestly.

"Yeah," Maura breathed hollowly, "me too."

"I started the process. I want you to know that I won't give up, no matter what happens," Hope reassured her with a reassuring squeeze to Maura's shoulder.

"You shouldn't touch me," Maura said softly. "Don't make the same mistake I made. It could be fatal."

"You think I care about that?" Hope hissed. "You're sick. You're dying, and you foolishly think that I don't care about you." Hope took a deep breath, gathering her bravery. "Well, you're wrong!" Hope said loudly. "You're my daughter. You're my daughter, Maura, and I care about you. The only reason I pushed you away was because I went through the pain of losing you once and I never wanted to risk it happening again."

"Now hardly seems like the right time to be admitting all of this," Maura said sadly.

"If not now, when?" Hope challenged. "The thought of losing Cailin, after I'd already lost a daughter was too much to bear, and I took that pain out on you. It wasn't fair. The way I treated you, isn't fair. And I just… I'm sorry, Maura. I handled everything in the wrong way." Maura shook her head, wrapping her arms protectively around her body. "You're the reason Cailin is alive."

"You don't have to do this," Maura said softly. "You don't have to say anything else. You don't have to justify it to me."

"Please don't punish me, Maura," Hope begged. "I know I deserve nothing less, but you could be dying and I…"

"Stop!" Maura held up a hand. "And quiet down, will you? I don't want anyone to know."

"What?" Hope asked, disbelieving.

"Don't tell anyone about this," Maura said loudly. "You cannot tell anyone I'm sick. Do you understand? I'm not going to spend the last week of my life shut up in a room, by myself. All I want now is to spend my time with Jane."

"At what expense?" Hope replied. "You are sick! You need help!"

"What help?" Maura asked incredulously. "The same help that has done absolutely nothing for Jane?" Maura snapped. "She's dying! She's dying, and she's miserable. And nothing…absolutely nothing has helped."

"Maura," Hope whispered.

"Tell me I'm wrong," Maura said quietly. And then the most telling answer of all. Silence.

"I'm going to take your suggestion and alter the 21st base pair," Hope said after a moment. "It's been done in similar situations before, though in this case it's a hell of a Hail Mary." "As soon as I can, I'll transfuse the T-cells back into Jane's blood." Then. "Unfortunately, it might be too late to save Jane."

"It can't be," Maura whispered.

"At most, Jane has two days left, and even _that_ is probably an optimistic estimate."

"I guess there's only one way to find out," Maura said softly.

"I'm also going to need some of your blood," Hope revealed. "You said that the virus behaves differently in each patient. Which means it likely responds to host's differently."

"You can have my blood," Maura conceded, "Though I hardly doubt it will make much of a difference." "In the past, it has taken months, years to come up with a cure. You'll be lucky if I last the week." Maura sighed. "Forgive me. I'm clearly exhausted, out of hope, and maybe it would just be better if I was alone for a little while."

"You should rest," Hope pressed.

"I will," Maura reassured her. "As soon as they bring Jane back to her room, I'll lay down for a while." Hope nodded, and retreated. She hated herself for not getting to know Maura when she had the chance."

* * *

_**A/N: Please share your thoughts! I'll try to update as soon as I can. But I will be incapacitated for the next few days because of surgery. Here's to hoping that all goes well!**_


	15. I'm Gonna Try (To Keep Up Hope)

Title: **Our Last Days**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)  
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

**I'm Gonna Try**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

_**A/N: Why does everything that I write right now just feel so blah..?! I don't know what's wrong with me. I had a lot of this story written ahead of time, but constantly find myself adding in material to bridge the gap from one chapter to the next. Then, I find myself with a chapter that's mostly filler, when I fully planned on just advancing the plot-line beforehand. **_

_**I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope that you, the readers, feel like this story is progressing, and are happy with it. Because right now, I'm feeling a lot of self-doubt, and very little confidence.**_

_**I do want to thank you all for the well wishes. Without going into to much detail, the surgery went very well, and things are healing nicely. The delay in posting this chapter has mainly been my fault. If I weren't so darn picky about my own work, this would have been up a week ago. **_

* * *

Maura was pacing out in the hallway outside of Jane's isolation chamber, waiting for Jane to be brought back to her room, when she realized that she had probably already shared her final words with Jane. Of course she should have known better. All of Jane's interactions with her family members had been final, right down to the look in Jane's eyes as she spoke words to her siblings and her mother. So why would it be any different for she and Jane? Maybe she just took Jane's strength for granted, and refused to believe that it might actually be over. Perhaps it had been the smile still on Jane's face just before the sedation took over. Either way, Maura wasn't sure she could deny it any longer.

Even if Jane did pull through the surgery, the brunette would be kept in a medically induced coma. The breathing tube would be uncomfortable and awkward for Jane. The truth was, maybe that wasn't exactly a bad thing. Jane's symptoms were getting incrementally worse, and the illness was progressing increasingly fast. In fact, so much so that the doctors could no longer keep up with the illness. Just as soon as they treated the symptoms, and restored Jane's comfort, another problem cropped up-each one worse than the last. The doctors wouldn't want Jane to suffer. Maura just hoped that this procedure bought Jane some more time. Two more days, specifically.

"Doctor Isles!" Maura turned around to face an intern as he rushed down the hall. He was tall, with black hair, and an angular face. He had striking eyes, which he was currently using to analyze her expression.

"Dr. Morrales," Maura breathed, her arms wrapped around her middle as if to protect herself from what she was about to hear. "Is everything okay? I expected Jane to be out of surgery an hour ago."

"We're doing the best we can," Dr. Morrales said with a sad smile. "Dr. Reynor suctioned out all of the fluid from Jane's lungs, but they are in bad shape. We also took a couple of biopsies of the cells in Jane's lungs to be analyzed. We hope that it helps in your quest for a vaccine and a cure."

"Thank you," Maura said gratefully, offering a curt nod. "That's very helpful. And I am very grateful for any help."

"I should get back," Dr. Morrales offered after a moment. "Dr. Reynor wants to rinse out Jane's lungs with an antimicrobial lavage before we suction out Jane's lungs one final time." Then. "Hopefully it won't be much longer before Jane is back in her room." Dr. Morrales' beeper suddenly came to life. He glanced down to its display and cursed. Maura suddenly had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Dr. Morrales?" Maura said urgently. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go," he replied without thinking. "I'll come and get you later." Before Maura had a chance to reply, he was gone, disappearing down the hallway. Maura let out a soft whimper, and lifted several fingers to her lips.

"Maura?" the sound of that voice. Maura turned as a name fell from her lips without thought.

"Casey."

As her eyes fell onto a man dressed in army dress blues, signifying his new status as a ranking officer. Her eyes drifted over his fourragere lanyard, nameplate, rank insignias, and over his chest to the overseas service bars. His gold star lapel pin, cufflinks, and epauletts, glittering under the light, brought her eyes to them repeatedly.

Maura had to admit. The uniform suited him well. Every detail of his uniform was carefully attended to and looked immaculate, Casey however, looked to be a wreck.

"Where is she?" his voice cracked. Maura simply stared, not knowing if she should tell him.

"Maura," he said her name softly, morosely. "Where's Jane?" Maura internally chastised herself. Of course she should tell him. Jane was once engaged to the man before her. Still, it was hard for her to look him in the eye. She knew he'd overheard much of her conversation with Jane that night. And the truth was, she'd been hoping-stupid though that was-that she wouldn't have to ever face him again.

"I…She," Maura had to take a calming breath and start over, "She's in surgery."

"Surgery?" A look of anguish captured Casey's face, and Maura felt his pain.

"Yeah," Maura spoke softly. "She wasn't getting enough oxygen. They're trying to suction out her lungs so that she can breathe a little easier. They're hoping to stop things from progressing any further, but I don't know how much more they can do." She took a step forwards. He looked stunned at how far things had progressed in such a short time.

"I…I don't understand," he breathed. "How did this happen? Angela didn't say much when she contacted me, only that Jane had fallen ill and was dying. She said to come as quickly as I could…"

"We were investigating a murder," Maura said calmly, "Jane came across a makeshift lab, filled with things that you don't even want to think about. Let's just say that they're as deadly as you anything you might be imagining right now."

"And she got sick from one of those things?" Casey asked.

"Yeah." Maura nodded.

"Do they know what it is she has? Is there anything that can be done?" She could tell that he had a million questions. "There…has to be some sort of cure," he fumbled for the words, "S-Something that can help her." He sounded lost.

"My mother and I managed to categorize the virus that Jane contracted, but it's a kind that hasn't been seen by man, before," Maura revealed. "The closest thing that I could compare it to, is the plague, but Jane's illness has more of a respiratory component to it. Though it still has the ability to destroy the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys." Maura forced herself to stop talking, as she noticed the way that Casey suddenly looked sick to his stomach.

"I can't believe this," Casey said softly. "I mean… I know that was Jane does is dangerous. But out of all of the things that could happen to her, never in a million years, would I have suspected something like this."

"Casey, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," he whispered dejectedly, "Me too." Maura noticed that he was clutching his service cap a little too tightly, crumpling its fabric. "I…I came as soon as I could. And even that might not have been fast enough."

"I'm sure Jane would understand," Maura said sympathetically.

"I never should have left," Casey said with a dejected sigh. "I know that she's probably moved on, but I had to come and apologize for the way I left." Maura didn't know how to reply to this, so she simply held her tongue.

"If I had it all to do again," Casey spoke as he staggered over to the wall and slid down it into a crumpled heap. "I would have chosen her. I felt like I couldn't pass up the opportunity, when I'd worked my whole life for it. But once I arrived, I found out that the job meant little to nothing without Jane."

"I know," Maura agreed as she sank down next to him. "I know how much you care about her."

"Do you?" Casey asked as he looked at the honey blonde out of the corner of his eye. Maura was staring at the floor, determined not to let him see the guilt in her eyes. "Because if what you said that night means anything…"

"I meant nothing by it," Maura explained. "So please don't take offense. It's nothing against your character. It's just," Maura let out a sigh. "I was afraid that you were going to take Jane away from me. And I…couldn't afford to let you. At the time, I didn't understand why I was so scared by the notion of her leaving. In fact, if you had asked me why I opposed the idea so vehemently, I wouldn't have been able to tell you. But now…"

"I think I understand," Casey spoke after thinking it over, and replaying the events of that night slowly. "You love her?"

"Yes."

"And you were in love with her then," a statement. Not a question. Maura nodded.

"Did you two…" Casey began softly, calmly, his icy blue eyes penetrating deep into Maura's hazel ones, searching for…something.

"Oh, god, no!" Maura burst out. "I swear we didn't." Maura said honestly. "Mind you, our friendship has always been a little…"

"Unconventional?" Casey finished for her. "Yeah," he nodded. "But you do love her."

"Yes. She's the best friend I've ever had."

"No. I mean… Do you _really_ love her?" Casey asked again. "Are you in love with her. Because Jane deserves the world, Maura. She should be cared for wholly and completely. Even if…even if it isn't by me."

"Casey?" Maura's lips twitched upwards at the corner. "You have my word. I love her. I'm _in_ love with her." Then after a pause. "She's captured me completely, body and soul." He nodded. "I'll take good care of her. Even if she can be a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes." Maura was surprised when Casey burst out laughing. And before she knew what was happening, a laugh was bubbling past her lips and causing her body to shake.

"She can be a pain in the ass, can't she?" Casey said between laughs, "You should pray that you never have to take care of her, because Jane is a horrible patient. I mean…just the worst."

"Convalescence doesn't suit people like Jane," Maura said as the laughter gradually subsided.

"You mean the bullheaded, stubborn, and defiant ones?" Casey asked.

"Yeah," Maura nodded. "Indeed." Casey opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and closed his mouth. Maura noticed his clenched jaw and the way that his shoulders shook. She turned her head out of curiosity and realized with immense surprise that Casey was crying. Maura tore her eyes away, giving him a moment to just feel what needed to be felt.

For a long time neither one of them said anything. But eventually, after wiping away his tears, Casey muttered. "Maura?"

"Yes?"

"For what it's worth," he was almost timid in tone of voice, "I hope that Jane gets better, and gets to be a pain in the ass for a long time to come."

"God, I want that too," Maura said softly. She actually had to restrain herself as she nearly took Casey's hand in hers for a brief moment in order to give it a squeeze.

"Are we having a moment," Casey said in jest a moment later.

"Don't tell Jane," Maura said simply. But it was hard to hide the way that her lips quirked upwards. Together, they sat in silence, shoulder to shoulder, just waiting...

Maura closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, the air inside of the hospital was cool against her face. In contrast to its coolness, Maura's body was warm and feverish, sweat still trickled down the side of her face. Maura let out a sigh. Then she lifted her head and opened her eyes as she heard a commotion from down the hallway. They were wheeling a gurney surrounded with a portable isolation unit, and a large machine that was hooked up to the patient on the gurney.

"Maura?" Casey said questioningly as she pushed herself up from the floor.

"It's Jane," Maura said all too quickly. The patient on the gurney was covered from head to toe, but Maura knew by the doctors accompanying the patient that it was Jane.

"That's Jane?" Casey said, shocked. "How… How can you even tell?"

"It's her," Maura replied steadfastly, "Trust me." He nodded. She didn't know if he even realized it, but he stood at a tension, standing still as a statue as the gurney was wheeled into decontamination. They watched the team make its way through decontamination, and into Jane's room. They hooked her back up to all of the machines, in addition to one new one.

"I have a feeling that this is as close as I'm going to get to her," he sighed sadly.

"I'm afraid so," Maura replied.

"What's that?" He asked. "A respirator?"

"She needs help to breathe," Maura spoke aloud. "They'll keep her sedated, so that she's comfortable."

"I…" Casey looked sick. "I'm sorry. I thought I was prepared for how bad things would be, but clearly I was wrong." He took a deep breath. "I should go."

"Are you sure?" Maura asked. "Please. Don't feel like you have to go on my account!"

"No… It's not you. You've actually been very welcoming," Casey replied. "Will you please tell Jane that I came by to see her?"

"Of course," Maura replied. "Will you be back again before you leave?"

"I…I'll try," Casey replied. "My emergency leave is only for three days, so we'll see."

"Okay," Maura replied, "Well, good luck. And take care." Casey nodded, and left.

For a long time after Casey left, Maura's heartbeat thumped steadily in her ears. Her heart was beating much more quickly than she was used to, certainly far above her baseline. She supposed that maybe it was due to the severe stress she found herself under, both emotionally and physically. She was still pacing, when she heard footsteps and looked up to see Dr. Berman approaching.

"I half expected to see some holes in the flooring," Dr. Berman joked as he approached. "You've been going at it for a while now," he gesticulated to indicate her pacing. "Is something bothering you? Making you anxious?"

"You mean, besides the obvious?" Maura asked. Dr. Berman flinched. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound so cold."

"No. It's okay. I understand, Doctor," he replied. "I just meant that I'm worried about you."

"I'm worried about me too," Maura admitted. "Because I'm a fool."

"Forgive me, but how do you mean?"

"You need to move another hospital bed into that room, Nate," Maura said simply.

"You mean a cot?" he questioned. "I thought I already asked the nurse to bring in a bed for you."

"No," Maura sighed, feeling even more frustrated than before. They couldn't seem to get on the same page. "That's not what I meant. What I meant is… that I'm sick! I should be there with her. Not out here."

"You're…"

"Sick with the virus," Maura finished. "Yes."

"Are you sure, because…" he stopped himself. "Of course you're sure. In fact, you've probably already tested your own blood for the virus." Maura nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's my own fault," Maura said calmly. "I'm the one that insisted on going inside of Jane's room. I've also had contact with Jane."

"So I don't have to worry about the virus being airbourne?"

"I don't think so," Maura replied. "Even so, we've been too lax. We should limit everyone's exposure to as little as possible. Even Jane's family. I don't think would ever be able to forgive me if her mother or brothers got sick."

"Agreed," Dr. Berman replied. "All of the other precautions are already in place. The isolation unit Jane is currently housed in, is one of four large rooms. It has an air filtration system, as well as a large refrigerated chamber for housing intravenous medication. We'll move more medical equipment inside, for you, and we'll make sure that we have a centrifuge and all other necessary equipment so that we can do blood tests, and other minor tests right inside the room. The air filtration system inside is completely separate from the main hospital. The air inside is, filtered, humidified, and circulated. We'll try to make sure that you guys are as comfortable as possible."

"Thank you," Maura said.

"I'll have everything brought as soon as possible," Dr. Berman said. "Were you and Dr. Martin able to come up with anything helpful?"

"Only time will tell if what we discovered will be worthwhile, but we were able to theorize a possible treatment," Maura revealed. "Dr. Martin enlisted a biomedical researcher to help her in manipulating the genetic material as we speak, and then hopefully will begin the transfusion."

"Good. That's good," Dr. Berman replied. "I thought it might also be a good idea to try treating the illness with a serum of assorted antibodies. It could potentially help Jane."

"We could definitely try," Maura replied. "Jane needs whatever edge that we can give her. If we can just get her to hold on for two more days…"

"Maura," Dr. Berman cleared his throat. "I haven't been completely honest with you…"

"About?" Maura's eyes flashed.

"Toxins are building up in Jane's blood. Jane's kidneys are failing. Her liver is failing," he looked so sad as he said this, and exhausted. So could only surmise how much. This man was working himself into the ground for Jane. "Even if she somehow manages to make it through the next day, or the next week, which isn't very likely, mind you, she'll need a transplant."

"But her body won't be able to handle the additional stress of a transplant. Not for weeks," Maura whispered. "You're giving up, aren't you?"

"What?! NO!" Dr. Berman replied with a newfound fire in his expression. "If Jane hasn't given up, then we won't either. She's one of the strongest patients I've ever had. She's a trooper, Maura, and I don't mean that in a loose sense."

"When she sets her sights on something, you'll know it," Maura joked.

Dr. Nate Berman smiled at Maura, and subsequently fought off a yawn.

"You should get some sleep, Doctor. You look like you need it."

"Yeah," he nodded, looking more and more like a zombie by the minute. "I'm on call, so if there's a problem, I'll be there."

"Don't… Don't think about it," Maura said sternly. "There's no need to drive yourself into the ground, just to keep Jane above it. She wouldn't want that. Just…focus on what you need right now."

"I…Thank you, Dr. Isles," he said genuinely. "I appreciate that." He looked as if he were lost in thought for a moment, and then spoke to her warmly, "You know. I have to admit. The first time, I met Jane, I just felt this pull…she's so vibrant…full of life, you know? I know that doctors aren't supposed to have a soft spot for their patients, but I… I just couldn't help it. I'm fond of Jane."

"I trust that you know that Jane and I are involved," Maura said softly. He laughed.

"Why do you think I'm telling you this?" he said between bouts of laughter. "I…I've been feeling so guilty for this whole time, because a part of me honestly believed I was putting the moves on her somehow, when I really was just trying to do my job."

"I… It's okay, Nate," Maura said, stopping him from rambling. "I understand what you're trying to say. Th-Thank you for looking out for Jane, when I couldn't."

"You know it's no problem," he replied.

"You know, if we all make it out of this alive, I think we could all be good friends," Maura suggested. "But no putting the moves on my girlfriend, while I'm unconscious! Because I have a feeling when I lay down, I won't be getting up for a really _really_ long time."

"Who says that I'm going to be conscious enough to put the moves on your girlfriend," Nate teased. "I'm dead on my feet as it is. Perhaps, even more than you are, my friend."

"See?!" Maura laughed. "We're getting along well, already. Jane'll be so proud of me. I've never been good at making friends on my own."

"What?" Nate looked genuinely surprised. "I challenge that statement. That cannot be true."

"It's true," Maura yawned. "Oh, god. If I don't find a bed in the next five minutes, I'm going to keel over."

"Ditto," Nate said. "Oh…One more thing before I go. In surgery, before we intubated Jane, she kept saying something. I think she was trying to say your name, but it just came out as the letter M. Like EMmm..."

"That's what she calls me sometimes," Maura's eyes shimmered. "Was she okay? Was she in pain?"

"No," he replied honestly. "She kept saying how much better it felt to be able to breathe. She said that air never tasted so sweet. Then she joked about challenging you to a hundred yard dash."

Maura laughed, feeling hope. "We do that sometimes." Maura revealed. "We'll just be walking somewhere, and all of the sudden we decide to have it out, and set up for a race." Maura felt her heart lurch at her chest at the memory of their last race. "Jane is so competitive, and nearly always wins. Her stride is so long that I never really have a chance. But we do it anyways. Because it's so spontaneous, and fun, and free. It embodies everything Jane is. That Jane and I are."

"It sounds wonderful," Nate said softly. "What you two have, must be so special." He said with twinkling eyes. "I saw your eyes light up just now when you were talking about her." Maura wiped at a stray tear trailing its way down her cheek. "Maura, I need you to promise me something."

"Okay," Maura nodded.

"No matter what happens with Jane," he said after a long moment's silence. "I want you to hold onto that feeling." He motioned to his chest. "Keep it in here. And hold onto it, because you're going to need it."

"I will," Maura promised. She fully intended on keeping that promise.

* * *

_A/N: More to come soon! Thoughts?! I always appreciate reviews and could use the confidence right now! _

**_Thanks for reading! :)_**


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